Student of India
India. A land full of colour, history, heritage and rich diversity. A complex mural of dichotomies, philosophies, and religions. A place where no generalisation will do. Should you be ever so close to a generalisation about India, you will find an exception to your theory here itself. It’s the most fascinating and frustrating process for a social scientist.
Last year, I left India to study in Canada. There, I found myself increasingly fascinated by India, even more than before. I asked myself, why did India become such an object of fascination? And was it supposed to be? After all, I am Indian. I was born here. I was brought up here. So why should India captivate me? Should it be so mystical, so exotic, so mesmerising? Is my fascinated view of India a colonial legacy? Educated in the British system with all my technical education in English and now far from home, was I viewing my home from the lens of a foreigner, a romantic enchanted by India’s warmth and promise of spiritual wealth? Is that why my own home was fascinating? I suspect the rise of Hindutva made me question where I stood. Was I not “mentally fully Indian”, a “sickular”, a colonised mind?
On introspection, I understand that first that my star-struck fascination was only a part of a whole. Romanticising my home is only part of the story, for such an exaggeration of India’s richness did not mean I became oblivious to its social and political problems. In fact, I am aware of these problems, and try to be an active part of the debate. I suspect moving away from home had increased my tendency to look through the romanticising lens, but coming home makes me realise that indeed, I have the critical lens intact as well.
But importantly, as a friend said, “India has much to offer, even if you’re Indian.” For me, India has much to offer, even (more so) if you’re Indian. And so I have convinced myself that my obsession about my home’s beauty and complexity is not a colonial legacy, it is just a function of missing home - which increased my propensity to choose romanticism over critique - and of course, India’s rich cultural landscape that indeed never fails to fascinate, even if you’re Indian.