#individualswithdisabilities

[ritahutchesoncobbs]

#eldercare #IndividualsWithDisabilities #respite #respitecare #familylifestyle @rejuvenationstationseniorcare @ritahutchesoncobbs #RSSC #rejuvenationstation https://www.instagram.com/p/CFCkaYNHemU/?igshid=13rxj41g5qk34

[lanamay1980]

Deep Thoughts

When you, I, or any other able-bodied individual has a bad day we get to have our bad day without anyone paying much attention. We can make mistakes in a similar fashion or change our clothes five times before walking out the door. Maybe we don’t want to shower or eat one day, but these decisions don’t seem to matter much. As I sit and think of all of the mistakes I have made in my life, no matter how much I think about them, I cannot imagine what it would be like to be profoundly intellectually or physically disabled and live my life daily.

These thoughts are often in my head when I am working with an individual who is expressing the desire to go home or move from their current environment. What you or I could do easily is not as easy as it appears, especially when an individual with disabilities cannot do things like able-bodied individuals. Instead, those with disabilities go about their lives trusting that their caregivers are making the right decision for them. One of those decisions might be to seek out a community living arrangement or supported living environment. There is a difference in the two for sure, and that difference can drastically influence the life of an individual with disabilities. 

Living arrangements vary and are similar in many ways. The community living arrangement is one in which individuals with disabilities live in a house on any block in any city. These types of living arrangments provide 24-hour caregiving in the least restrictive environment. Individuals can go out and do things within the community, actively participate in the lives of their friends and family, and potentially share common living spaces with anywhere from 1-3 other individuals. 

The supported living setting is often much more clinical. Imagine a nursing home setting that has roughly 16 beds. This type of living arrangement is often for more medically fragile individuals with seizure disorders. You are one of 16; you share common areas, meal-times, and your entire life with these 16 individuals except for 5 hours in the day where you receive your community involvement at a sheltered workshop. Medication is typically passed by a nurse and meals are prepared by a cook. While you have clothes in your closet, you don't get to change your mind multiple times on what you want to wear each day. Once your decision is made that is it and to make matters worse every in, out, and behavior gets tracked. 

I share this because my heart breaks on a daily basis when I see that an individual capable of living in a community living arrangement is residing in a supported living setting. I have observed the struggle parents and caregivers have to go through to find a living arrangement for their loved one. Sometimes hasty decisions are made after the death of a primary caregiver. For some, it might seem selfish, but I’m a realist. Parents age and siblings move away. Nevermind the fact that society expects us to provide for ourselves and the burden of caring for an individual with disabilities does not provide one with the ability to hold down a normal work schedule. 

Can you imagine what happens to a person after living in their family home their entire life, say 20-30 years? Being the only person treated and loved by a parent and loved ones to having that change overnight? Sharing time with 15 other individuals whose needs vary but are similar to yours? 

I can’t, because what my head comes up with sucks. Can you imagine the behaviors that might manifest from such a loss? Wounds that are created which can never be healed?

Nope. I still can’t imagine the extreme grief a person with disabilities may feel. I can only imagine what it feels like to be lost and forgotten by society. I have a lot of choice in what I can do to change my situation. Individuals with disabilities do not always have the ability to make decisions. Even after all of the legislation society has created to help this population of individuals. What would be seen as a small battle with depression or grief is labeled as major depressive disorder or something worse. The extreme loneliness is something one does not get over quickly, and it is just something I have been thinking about today. I most certainly wouldn’t want my in’s and out’s tracked, that’s for sure!

[lanamay1980]

Be Happy For Me.

A strange thing occurred today. A certain individual (who I worked with for roughly four years) informed me that his “girlfriend” might be pregnant. I always find myself placed in these situations where I am the first or last person to know something. People frequently base the way they approach a subject with others, based upon my reaction. 

I have to admit my reaction was one of fear, shock, and concern.

I have come to realize that my thought processes have changed significantly since working with the disabled population. While, I believe that every individual has certain rights, their sexuality being one of those rights. In this circumstance, I still find that I cannot be happy for this person. There are too many unknowns. For this reason and so many more, my initial response was for this man to get a paternity test. 

Never, ever. EVER. Have I ever thought a baby could be anything but a blessing. Everything has a reason and a season. This person wants desperately to be a father and has expressed this for years. However, there are too many factors that weigh heavily on my mind. Could genetics play a role in the life of his future son or daughter? Could that child be born with the same disability he has? My mind is filled with thoughts as I think about this because this particular individual needs full assistance when it comes to bathing, toileting, and eating.

Then my mind grows angry. Who is this "woman" who decided that it was a good idea to procreate with this individual? (I’ll tell you who. She’s some 19-year-old from Cali.) Is she an idiot? (Perhaps she is both.) What does she do for a living? (possibly a prostitute.) Is she trying to get this person's SSDI? (I don’t want to believe she’d be trying to financially abuse this person, but it is plausible.) Is this a form of financial abuse? (Possibly) Why are my thoughts going to this place? (Because I care about this person.) Why can I not just be happy for this person? (See above.) How long has he known her? (A year or less.) Is she willing to take care of him and a baby? (He says, yes. I think she doesn’t know what she wants.)

Perhaps I am wrong for feeling this way. If a child would make this person happy, I should be happy for him, right? Still, I am not. So I come to you Tumbler community. Please help me sort through these thoughts. I don’t want to be biased or discriminatory, but I also can’t help but feel that this person is about to get egregiously taken advantage of. What are your thoughts?