It's not really an ask, more a statement: your Good Omens fanfictions have managed to completely derail my Saturday. They're so charming and adorable and cosy, I have spent the majority of the day under a blanket on the sofa reading. They also speak to my soul, also being Ace, it's so beautiful to read stories without having to skip through massive sections that gratuitously describe sex. That's all. Thank you.
Aww, thank you for this statement! I mean, theoretically you had something else planned on that Saturday (this message has been waiting in my inbox for a week and a half), but I feel like as alternatives go, "lying under a blankie on the sofa reading" is a pretty good one. I might be inclined to do it myself if my house contained a sofa.
Also, fun fact, those wishing to shove All The Asexual Content into their eyeballs may wish to peruse the works of AO3 users hope_in_the_dark and IneffableDoll. There's a bunch of people with a bunch of wonderful ace Ineffable Walnuts stories, but I'm pretty sure Hope and Doll are both with me on the "only writing that forever" bandwagon, meaning a 100% match with Ah Yes This Is The Thing I Was Looking For.
I hope you have a super good next 24 hours after you see this response!
So I got this almost a month ago, and I was going to open it during my "off work for reasons of s2" vacation, because I'd be all happy and mentally energized and primed to enjoy 24 hours of crustaceans then, surely.
Cough.
But someone just sent me another free day of Crab, and since I'll never actually use every second's worth (I like sleeping), probably I should just start enjoying them as they come. Right?
I never actually clicked the button or whatever it was on April Fool's Day, so this will be the first time I have little ocean-going friends on my dash! Thank you, anon. (Thank you also the anon who sent me one today)
I was wondering if you finished and plan to publish the Umbrella AU? I checked your account and I couldn't find it anywhere (sorry if I just didn't notice). I would really gladly read it! (I desperately need it)
Finished, no; still plan to publish, though, yes.
I realized something like a year and a half ago that the story needed a structural overhaul from the beginning before I could move on to its conclusion. (Example: Crowley never actually indicates what he does for a living, in like six months of increasingly close friendship. Even when he hangs out at the bookshop for hours at a time "putting in some hours" on his laptop. So how does he pay his bills? I have no idea.) Then I didn't actually do it, because the ol' depression started getting so bad that "200 usable words on a short one-shot" became a really, really good week. (I used to write INNW chapters in 2-3 days. How.)
I know what it feels like when a story is no longer alive in my head, and this one is still kicking. It's just kicking on the other side of a door, and the door is closed, and there's a big pile of furniture built up blocking that door plus also a sign saying "Beware Of Leopard".
Would a probable outtake help? Looks like I rewrote the currently-last couple of chapters about a dozen times at the end of 2021, so here's the entirety of one chunk which I dropped midway through and I'm guessing probably won't pick up again:
--
[This human!Aziraphale is in his early 40s and has never been on a date or anything, and now somehow he seems to have become on smooching terms with Crowley. Some number of days or possibly weeks into this he asks Crowley whether Crowley is in love with him.]
"Well, I mean, hah." It was probably meant as a laugh, that sound. Perhaps Crowley was trying to smile. "Don't need to talk about all that so fast, do we? I mean, you -- you like me, like spending time with me, right? Angel?"
Aziraphale nodded, not looking up from where his hands now lay absolutely still together.
"Right -- and I… really like spending time with you, best part of my life these days, honestly -- w-which I don't mean to mean anything --"
The shiver in Crowley's voice was all the 'No' Aziraphale needed, really. Of course it wouldn't be that. There was a reason no one had ever so much as asked him out for coffee, let alone wanted to pursue a romance with him, and whatever that reason might be, it wasn't as though anything had changed. He was still only himself. And yes, at last, he'd found exactly one man who could be fond of him -- who could inexplicably find him physically attractive, who would actually want to kiss him -- but that was already more than he should ever have expected.
He was just one of those poor souls whose fate was to never be loved like that.
"It's all right," he said, cutting off Crowley's scramble for an answer. "I'm not expecting you to be."
"Aziraphale --"
There was a little catch in his throat, suddenly, although he wasn't quite sure where it had come from. "Goodness, I'm rather making a hash of things, aren't I? I didn't mean to push you into having to give the 'it's not you, it's me' speech quite so early…"
He raised his head, finally, trying on a reassuring smile, although he hoped that at least some of the terror would already be gone from Crowley's face.
Ah. Even worse: now the poor man looked absolutely heartbroken.
"Aziraphale," Crowley said again. "It isn't you."
"Please, you needn't --"
"And it isn't me either, it… urgh." At last Crowley pushed himself away from the wall, pacing without really seeming to be watching where he was going. His hands shoved through his hair, setting it to disarray and somehow looking even more handsome than before. "It isn't anyone. There isn't a thing."
--
Then Crowley would stumble through his explanation that in fact the answer is yes actually very much extremely yeah yes.
Love your fat positivity. Crowley’s enthusiasm for soft Aziraphale has been life changing for me. Love your WI/Milwaukee stuff. Glad you’re a child or I’d be tempted to stalk you.
I'm very glad you're enjoying it 💜 Although... I'm forty-one? Not that I'm requesting a stalker, but I'm pretty sure the last time I was deemed a youth was about a decade ago with the then-coworker who called me "kid".
Hi!! I hope you’re doing well!! :D here’s a little azi doodle for you <3
I actually am doing well, and it was a surprise to realize that. Thank you so much for making that surprise possible, and I hope all your various animals are extra well-behaved and in extra-good spirits for the next week. 💜
(I smiled a probably ridiculous smile when I saw that you'd drawn something just for me but it's okay no one saw me so no one will ever kno... w... ...oops)
I would love to hear about "worst day evah" and "love spell," if you care to share!
I dare to care to share! With a... bear, in a...... Frigidaire.
worst day evah
This was going to be for the Kisses Bingo game that was running back in 2020, and it was going to fill in the space "snuggle"; only I never finished it, so. Once again it is a human AU (I promise I really do have canonverse WIPs too). I might have shared part of it before, I think, since it's 17 months old? But here, have some of the beginning:
This was, without a doubt, the worst day of Aziraphale's life.
He'd woken with a headache, and a morning full of demanding customers hadn't helped much. His breakfast toast had been burnt, and on his way to the local coffee house for a midmorning pick-me-up, he'd been splashed by a passing car. He didn't even have Crowley's company to look forward to, because Crowley had some kind of planning meeting at work, requiring them to cancel their usual lunch date.
Not that it was a *date*, of course. Their usual lunch *appointment*.
[Some more annoying stuff happens, and now he's determined to be cranky for as long as he can milk it. Then Crowley knocks unexpectedly; Aziraphale lets him in; internal narration continues with] Crowley had been calling him 'angel' practically since the day they'd met. It didn't *mean* anything, though; or rather, it did mean quite a lot, the deep affection Aziraphale knew Crowley had for him, the endless platonic fondness which he seemed to earn just by being his own peculiar self.
But Crowley was bold and adventuresome and unafraid to speak his mind. If he was in love with Aziraphale, he would have said so long ago.
If one is familiar enough with my oeuvre, one can probably guess whether or not this will actually, in fact, end up being the worst day of our lovely angel's life.
love spell
You see!! Canonverse finally!! I've posted one tiny bit from this in the past, out of context, but here is some of the beginning so's you can see the setup:
Crowley's voice floated over from the general direction of the wine collection. "Oh, what's in *this* bottle, then? [...]Looks like you lifted it off a fourteenth-century alchemist. Smells like..." Another pause. "Purple. Is purple a smell?"
"I shouldn't have anything like that," Aziraphale called back. "Well, not *wine*. I did pull a few boxes out for sorting earlier, and one of them had some items I'd... confiscated, during an old assignment that involved some human occultists."
[...]Aziraphale remembered that bottle, yes. He remembered [...] the long evenings he had spent staring at his prize, wishing for something he could never speak aloud, finally shoving it away deep in storage when he feared the temptation might be too much...
"Funny thing, really, it was actually some sort of --"
Aziraphale didn't quite make it to the end of his sentence before Crowley ambled into his sight[, having plainly just taken a big swig from the bottle].
"...a love potion," finished Aziraphale.
"Oh, whoops," said Crowley.
If one is familiar enough with my oeuvre, one can probably guess whether the situation ends well or not.
Yay! Congratulations! (And it’s so nice that you’re getting employed as Jack, too!)
I know, right?? The application only had room for one name, and I always default to the legal one in those cases, but as soon as a human read my resume and saw that I had a preferred name, I don’t think anyone used the other one a single time. It is very very very exciting to know that the question of “okay but would they *actually* hire me as my authentic self?” is a solid Yes.
