I guess I finally understand this idea of Jesus not just with my mind but with my whole heart, the way He loves everyone: a murderer, a rapist, a hopeless prostitute, a mother, who killed her child. I understand now. because love is so strong, it is the strongest thing in the world. please, Father, please, let me feel love forever, let me love forever. I love myself and the priest in local church and the world and my lover and my friends and everybody else and an elegant old lady wearing a fancy beret which I saw last summer and she smiled at me and a handsome young gentleman whom I met at the vintage flea market and we complimented each other and a toddler drawing with crayons and autumn picnics and classic ties and academic rivalry and aching muscles after workout and bitter wood cologne and being drunk and being sober and the way people smile at each other during Liturgy and cycling and quiet cemeteries and strong handshakes and struggles and joys of manhood and night walks and messy handwritten letters and cathartic rage and vinyl and good-natured fights and reading outside and old-fashioned kisses and being someone who is relied upon and non-verbal promises and cashmere and dried flowers and tiny peachy hairs on the soft girl’s skin and theatre and feeding stray dogs
I’m so happy I'm so happy I'm alive I'm so happy I can witness this beauty
only for several dozens of years but I am the eyewitness of this
and yes it's a harsh place full of pain and change and i have to fight on a daily basis but among it there's love and beauty and kindness
and I am so grateful to experience all these transcendental things
I trust Him
I know that there is still a chance for me, it always was, I know that Jesus loves me despite all odds, God is Love, I will pray to Him and to the Blessed Virgin Mary to let me keep feeling as long as it's possible
I never want it to end
I never want to stop loving this life and this incredible world
accepting it fully as it is and still loving it
“I love you” is a radical word of grace
I love you, can i say it?