Is it common for INFJs to intentionally put distance between themselves and others (outside their intimate circle), even people who want to be and put effort into being friends? I *think* I'm an INFJ (the more I learn, the more accurate it seems) and I do this without thinking about it, and I generally feel awful about it, but I don't want to/can't stop. Trying to understand it so I can fix it ;) Thanks!
Hi! This is a really interesting question! I can personally relate to this to an extent, I’m usually quite receptive to people who put effort into starting a new friendship. However, I can understand why you may react that way - perhaps you’re apprehensive to start new friendships because of past experiences, or let downs. (cue Si/Ni confusion) For INFJs it all comes down to Ni, it’s a strength of ours to be able to gauge people’s true motives and whether we’ll really be able to click with certain people and have a friendship that lasts in the long run. As an INFJ, being open-minded and caring towards everyone we meet comes with crossing paths with all kinds of people, particularly those who are going through something difficult and need someone who can just listen with no judgements. We tend to put ourselves in quite a selfless position and the friendship can often be like a “one-way street”. After I experiencing these kinds of interactions, I distanced myself and sought REALationships where there was mutual growth.
Aside from personality type, your personal experiences can really shape your interactions with others so give yourself the time to reflect on what might be going on for you. I definitely encourage you to learn more about the functions and I would love to know if you conclusively figure out your personality type, I hope this helped! x
- Gia x