I just love the idea of the war starting at more or less the same exact time the Jedi are informed that the literal army of clones have chips in their brains that would make them kill them all AND that palpatine is behind the war.
that tropey moment of sudden realization that you are standing on a land mine and the moment you move wrong, everything will explode.
Everyone going alright act natural—act NATURAL. Picking up magazines upside down, fake whistling, hello commander, i didn’t see you there, oh this? i was just, uh, sharpening my lightsaber.
The troopers are a little hurt and a lot wary—they were made to serve the Jedi but they don’t seem to ever trust them to have their backs, or be alone with them, and they’re pretty sure that that lightsabers don’t even need to be sharpened.
Until a month or however long later when they finally figure out the dechipping process.
Commanders surprised to wake up from what they glumly assumed was going to be decommissioning, considering how sketchy their Generals were acting about the ‘mandatory classified medical procedure’, only to be greeted with extremely anxious Jedi tearfully apologizing for not being able to befriend them earlier, and for leading them into this war, and can I get you another pillow and
au where obi-wan is meditating and connects with his future self who is also meditating
at first they’re just vibing, open to whatever lesson the force is trying to impart with this vision.
both kind-of fading in and out, no idea how long this will last
at some point Ben is like...wait are you real? Like an actual, younger version of myself who can react to the info i give you?
Obi: “I...suppose so? I assume you can’t tell me any details about the future for fear of altering the timeline irrevoc-”
“PALPATINE’S A SITH LORD”
“what”
“THE CLONES HAVE CHIPS IN THEIR HEADS THAT WILL MAKE THEM KILL ALL THE JEDI”
“I’m sorry the what have what in their heads and what do you mean ALL the Jedi?”
“Kriff, you haven’t met the clones yet- ok, there’s a jedi commissioned clone army on Kamino, they’re really good guys but you’ve gotta do something about the chips in their head. Theres’s also a trade federation droid army on genosis. It’s all part of Palpatine’s scheme to create a sith empire. Both of them are being funded through Dooku-”
“Dooku? You mean Master Dooku?”
“DOOKU’S A SITH LORD TOO! He has an apprentice, Ventress- absolutely terrifying but she can be reasoned with, and OH SHIT MAUL, MAUL’S STILL ALIVE”
“Who’s Maul?”
“Oh right you don’t...the Zabrak! The one who killed Qui-Gon! He’s still alive, he’s totally insane, and he will come back for revenge.”
“I-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I literally chopped him in half! AND he fell into a melting pit!”
“I know, right? Sith are REALLY hard to kill, they can stay alive on spite, i think. He’s on a garbage planet somewhere in the outer rim. He kills Satine and takes over Mandalore just to get back at me.”
“Fuck.”
“DON’T FAKE YOUR DEATH ANAKIN CAN NOT HANDLE IT.”
“Um. ok?”
“Ashoka didn’t bomb the temple! It was Barriss!”
“Who?
“Nevermind, probably won’t matter. Anyway. Uh. Speaking of Sith’s being hard to kill- i really, really hope it won’t come to this but if you ever end up having to fight Anakin to the death on a lava planet-”
“Nope. No. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Just. You might think that cutting off all of someone’s limbs while they catch on fire-”
“WHAT IN THE SITH HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
“A LOT OF THINGS! THE FUTURE IS TERRIBLE! I LIVE ON TATOOINE!”
“Why TATOOINE?”
“It’s the last place that- oh- SHMI! YOU HAVE TO SAVE ANAKIN’S MOM! It’s partially our fault she died and I’m 90% sure that’s one of things that led to his fall!”
“ONE of the things??”
“Well, all those meetings with Palpatine probably didn’t help-”
“Oh force I left a child alone with a Sith Lord. I’M A TERRIBLE MASTER”
“THAT REMINDS ME! YOU HAVE TO TELL ANAKIN YOU LOVE HIM, RIGHT AWAY!”
“Well, I’m sure he already knows...”
“yeah, NOT so sure about that. TELL HIM. WITH WORDS.”
Possible Continuations from INFODUMP. I headcanon that exchange taking place about a year before episode II and episode IV
A) Anakin Force Shenanigans
Anakin walks up: “master- who’s this guy?
“You can SEE him/me?”
Obi-Wan urgently cry/yelling at Anakin to either wear a condom with Padme or at least take her to a healer if you’re worried about her pregnancy (seriously healer BEFORE evil sith wtf)
(its been a number of years for Ben so he’s pretty much puzzled out the ‘doing this for padme’ bit)
just before obi-wan fades out anakin panics because ben hasn’t told him how he gets together with padme
yanks him into this timeline and now Old Ben has to deal with Obi-Wan and Anakin freaking out over all the info he just vomited at them AND everything else
B) Brush Off
Obi-Wan practices some good old fashioned repression to mostly convince himself it was all a weird dream
yoda always says in motion, the future is anyway
he mostly puts it out of his head until a year later when Anakin VERY obliquely references having dreams of his mother
“...what kind of dreams, exactly?”
end-up rescuing Shmi shortly after her capture, Obi-Wan’s there to make sure Anakin doesn’t go off the deep end
Council is a little disapproving of their side mission because now Anakin is even more attached/devoted Obi-Wan
Obi-Wan is a LITTLE freaked out but Shmi being in danger isn’t exactly a hard prediction to make considering they left her on Tatooine but...
almost immediately after they get specially requested to protect Senator Amidala.
things proceed like canon and when Dex says the dart is from Kamino, Obi-Wan has a little panic attack attack
the whole trip to Kamino he’s just thinking pleasenoclonearmy pleasenoclonearmy pleasenoawFUCK THAT’S A CLONE ARMY
good news here is when he’s bullshitting his way through the meeting/ inspection he very confidently brings up removing the control chips
at first there’s some hemming and hawing ‘oh you mean the inhibitor chips, are you sure you want them removed we’ve already installed them’
“I DEMAND they be removed- I- can i speak to your manger? Do I need to take my business elsewhere??”
Nala Se is very reluctant, “I was ensured by certain high level parties that the chips were intended to be an important safeguard...”
*Obi-Wan sweating, but all-in at this point* “Well, uh, Master Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine themselves told me they were concerned about the chips being abused by the wrong parties, and sent me to supervise, so,”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were read-in on the project architecture to that extent, well here are our options-”
Obi-Wan still chases to Jango to Genosis because he’s got a mission and ‘this might as well happen’
Still gets captured in that stupid rotating energy field by Dooku
“What if I told you the senate was now controlled by a dark lord of the sith?”
“...I would say that I would be very interested in any holo-recordings or legal documents you might have to that effect”
“oh?”
“would very much like some sort of proof to bring before a court of law, yeah.”
The rescue attempt actually goes well this time! Anakin is well rested and practically glowing after his week-long all-expense paid vacation at Varykino
They all manage to escape and intercept reinforcement mid-flight
The council is pleased Obi-Wan is safe and not surprised to find Anakin there, but it doesn’t really change their mission as the senate has ordered them to take out the federation army before they can attack...
“The Senate ordered it?”
“Yes, much has happened, while gone you were. Were given to the chancellor, emergency powers. Drafted a military, he has. Generals, the Jedi have been made. Uneasy we are, but serve the senate, we do.”
“Oh kark, the Chancellor ordered it? We DEFINITELY can not invade.” Obi-Wan's starting to have another panic attack, not sure how to get out of the sith trap
Anakin’s a little offended. “Obi-Wan! The Chancellor is a good man; the Jedi must do this, for the good of -”
“PALPATINE’S A SITH LORD”
“what”
C) He tries, ok? (inspired by @ourhitofsucrose )
Very similar to B except for the full year between the ‘vision’ and aotc, Obi-Wan is desperately trying to follow the future’s warnings but failing hysterically
kamino and genosis have both erased from the archives and it doesn’t occur to him to ask dex so he doesn’t even have a direction to go on
tries to find some proof about Palpatine but he is a sneaky bastard
tries to separate palpatine from anakin but he’s like I’M AN ADULT NOW YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
tentatively brings up Dooku falling ‘in a vision’ to the council because that is something they can check up on- Yoda gets really offended
‘garbage planet on the outer rim’ is not a lot to go on
when he tries to get help searching because he knows that the sith who killed Qui-Gon is still alive and planning to kill his ex-girlfriend even Anakin is like... ‘ok buddy, i think you might be under too much stress, maybe we should visit the healers...”
best he can do for Shmi is leaving her an emergency beacon
A+ success in relationship repair with Anakin tho! through the application of a very awkward hug and a mumbled “you know I love you, right?”
Anakin drags him to the healers immediately, and after a drug test and an overnight stay finally responds by bursting into tears and ugly crying on Obi-Wan’s robes because “YOU’RE A FATHER TO ME BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAATED ME”
Obi-Wan is uncomfortably patting him on the back “Of course I don’t hate you! You’re my padawan! Why would you think that?”
Then when Shmi activates her emergency comm the same night Anakin has his first nightmare about his Mom and they fly to her rescue he’s even more OBI-WAN 5EVER than canon or scenario B because
“You...checked in on my mom?? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“I’m sorry Anakin, I knew the council wouldn’t approve...”
hugs Anakin again since that is the only piece of advice he can follow from his future self and he just thinks ‘well its a long shot but hopefully this is enough to prevent any lava planet incidents’
it is
Seriously in this version of events Anakin actively RESISTS being knighted because he was already obsessed with Obi-Wan in canon and now with hugs + verbal affection + protecting Mom proactively he is ALL IN FOR OBI NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN
low-key ruins palpatine’s plans by itself because now when he tries to drive a wedge between them with his bullshit ‘your master doesn’t truly trust you’ Anakin gets huffy and responds with a space powerpoint presentation
i mean other stuff is going to go down once we get to the armies but already the stage is set for him to go running to Obi-Wan the minute he has a nightmare about Padme dying and him responding “J. Force Christ, lets just... go to a healer, fuck’s sake Anakin I hope it doesn’t need to be said but do NOT turn to the darkside over this”
canon would definitely diverge before that point but its also very funny to me to imagine RotS playing out more or less the same but when he gets to Palpatine’s big offer he just goes ‘sorry dad told me no’
(ranging from non-existent to a single outline to drabbles to ficlets to 60,000+ word WIP)
Updated as of July 2022
Read Them All ‘In Order’ Here
Desktop: click this link
App: check out my ‘my au’ tag
AO3 LINK
For other excellent content check out my Sideblog (gradually shifting my reblogs over here)
(STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE AU MASTERLIST HERE)
NOTE:
On DESKTOP, The Bolded Link at the beginning of the description shows the au in roughly chronological order.
On MOBILE, try the (italicized link in parentheses) at the end of the description for the first post of the au, or scroll down and click on the tag of the au you want to visit.
~ ~ Full List Below The Cut ~ ~
2. Baby Shower AU (*COLLABORATIVE*) - “I feel like there should be an Au where Anakin plans a baby shower for Padme and accidentally kills palpatine in the process” - yodacommittedwarcrimes (complete drabble)
3. Pop Star Wars AU - Time-traveler Obi-Wan becomes a secret pop star in order to save the galaxy. Crack. (Ramblings, song lists, and various drabbles)
4. Kywalkers AU - Young Anakin Skywalker, on Illum to get his very first lightsaber crystal, is shocked when An Asthmatic Sith Lord, A Princess, A Moisture Farmer, and a metric kriffload of crystals fall from the sky. (Outline)
5. Musical AU that I don’t have a satisfying name or plot for yet.
6. Bewilderment AU: In which Ben tells a ‘joke,’ Han tells a ‘lie’ and now Darth Vader actually thinks Luke is his son. Wait, what do you mean— (IV & 3/4 episodes rewritten)
7. General Confusion AU: Deaged Obi-Wan AU. 13-year old Obi-Wan Kenobi has his ‘future’ explained in the worst possible way. (outlines, memes)
8. Turtle Crossing AU - Discworld x Star Wars crossover au for which I have many unwritten thoughts, all extremely gentle. (ficlets)
9. Bad Touch AU - Anakin publicly accuses Palpatine of possibly the only crime he hasn’t committed because that’s easier to explain to the public than the sith stuff. Crack and Angst. sorry. (ficlets)
10. Deception Time AU - Vader realizes they’ve both time traveled. Obi-Wan doesn’t. Vader plays along. (Outline)
11. Moeder Van Vader AU - Shmi appears to be the only one capable of controlling Anakin’s mysterious and terrifying older brother, a powerful Cyborg Sith Lord with unknown motives. (drabbles)
12. Stranded Solos AU - General Anakin Skywalker meets his grandson and son-in-law. Han shoots first. (drabbles)
13. Broken Fight AU - Old Ben and Vader, at the climax of their death star fight, are yeeted 20 years into the past. When they wake up in their younger bodies, much general and personal distress ensues. (outline and drabbles)
14. Entire Armies AU - Winner of my ‘200 followers i’ll write an au for you’ prize. Prompt: “the 212th, 501st, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan travel back in time to when Obi-Wan was a child slave...” (outline/drabbles)
15. *sighs* Sith Macenjar AU - winner of my ‘1500 followers i’ll write an au for you’ prize. Coming—coming soon.
16. Body Swap AU - (*COLLABORATIVE*) Obi-Wan > Cody > Anakin > Padme > Obi-Wan. Confused waking up scene! Hijinks! Gender! Family! Whatever the fuck is going on with Cody in Anakin’s unholy cosmic-powered body! (stone soup fanfics/outline)
17. Sith Obi-Wan AU - Cause everyone’s gotta have one. Time travel fix-it, in the absolute loosest possible sense. Outgrowth of 700 followers celebration. ANGST. (ficlets)
18. Obikin Crisis AU - Canon Obi-Wan and Anakin meet themselves from another timeline. They’re horrified to discover that their bond in this universe is NOT paternal. (ficlets)
19. Lost Luke AU - Luke loses his aunt and uncle, only to find his grandmother. And...his aunt and uncle? And his DAD (And maybe his mom)?? Chaos ensues. (outline/fics/ficlets)
20. Macenjar AU - Inspired by this meme. (fanfic)
21. Amnesia Duo AU - Obi-Wan and Anakin run-afoul of some Sith temple defensive measure and both completely lose their memory. Slapstick. (outline)
22. INFODUMP AU - Ben desperately tries to give his younger self a bunch of future knowledge as fast as possible. (outline(s))
23. Han Sonnow AU - Han is not looking forward to going through puberty again. Everyone on Kashykk is deeply concerned about Chewie’s sudden obsession with his tiny hairless pet. Shenanigans. (outlines/ficlets)
24. Rouge Handed AU - Obi-Wan Kenobi, in universe, gets suckered into playing the lead role of Christian in the hit corellian holomusical, Moulin Rouge. (oneshot)
25. Phantom of the Past AU (*COLLABORATIVE*) - Clone Wars Obi-Wan and Anakin accidentally time travel, utterly ruining the climax of the Phantom Menace. Initially conceived by @willowcrowned (connected ficlets)
26. Maul Again AU - The first time Maul died, it was on Tatooine, at the hands of a Jedi Master. Time loop inspired by Purple Days. (ficlet)
27. Suicidal Misunderstanding AU - Ben Kenobi gets high on Tatooine and inexplicably and unknowingly time travels. After taking advantage of what seems to be a very vivid hallucination, he tries to wake up. Panic ensues. Angst with a Happy Ending. (*Legit* Fanfic! (WIP) I , II , (Bonus 2.5) III , IV , V , VI , VII , VIII , IX , X , XI , XII , XIII , (Bonus 13.5) XIV , XV , XVI , XVII , XVIII , XIX , XX, XXI , XXII , XXIII , XXIV , XXV , XXVI , XXVII) (Edited version on AO3)
28. Sith Padme AU - Very similar to the prequels, except Padme’s choices really make a lot of sense. Eventual Empress!Padme and Rebel!Anakin. Outgrowth of 700 followers celebration (outline)
29. Frog Promise AU - Jedi Master Luke Skywalker defeats an outdated droid army only to find out afterwards he is a) on Naboo somehow b) not the only Jedi around and c) several decades in the past. (outines)
30. Manda À Trois AU - Cody inadvertently acquires the darksaber! Polyerotic bandaging of wounds! Satine and Cody friends to political marriage to lovers! Is raw Mandalorian sexual magnetism enough to save Obi-Wan from infinite sadness?? (outline)
31. Invisible Hand Chaos AU - Din, Luke and Grogu derail the climactic fight between Anakin, Obi-Wan and Dooku on the Invisible Hand. (WIP)
33. Unrestrained AU - From this Ask - ”Imagine Luke and Leia ending up in the clone wars era but all of their force abilities are “what the actual fuck?” levels of bullshit” (outline/drabble)
34. Porn Prophecy AU (*COLLABORATIVE*) - For nearly 700 years, Jedi High Council Members have attempted to decode the mysterious holocron. The key figures are now alive, the time of prophecy is now, and everyone has to fucking deal with that. This, but like, its an obi-wan kink-meme!!! And there’s centuries of academic commentary!! About the porn! Crack. Really funny but only accessible in the chat between willowcrowned and I, and I don’t have the energy to type it up so hopefully she does
35. Chaotic Good Luke AU — time travel au where old Luke dies and wakes up age 18 again. (rotating like a rotisserie chicken in my brain)
36. Cradlerobber AU - Obi-Wan and Cody decide to wait until Cody officially turns 18. The empire falls a little faster. (complete)
37. Gift From The Force AU (*COLLABORATIVE*) - Heartwarming Anakin Mpreg vaguely deriving from an off-hand comment of @willowcrowned and expanding through the honest feels of @phoenixyfriend , @atagotiak , and various anons. (musings)
39. Naked AU - Obi-Wan inexplicably loses all his clothing. Grievous also dies but it’s largely irrelevant to the story. Shenanigans ensue. (not much)
40. Flashburn AU - Old Ben employed a desperate coping mechanism to suppress some of his worst memories. Which might not be so much of a problem if he wasn’t miraculously in the past, trying to fix everything. (ficlets)
41. Just Kill Him AU - Just Go Kill Palpatine. He’s Clearly a Pedophile. You Have a Laser Sword. He’s an Old and Frail Man. This Is the Best Option. It Will Be Easy. (WIP) (also on ao3)
42. Panakin Loop AU - Anakin’s Angst fuels a Revenge of the Sith time loop. It takes...a LOT of tries to get to fix-it (concept/drabbles)
(all of the above aus are tagged ‘my au’)
You can ALSO check out:
my stone soup tag for additions of various sprawl in other people’s aus as well as additions of various sprawl from other people into my au, including dinluke identity porn, leia time traveling and causing conniptions, maul & anakin hunting down Rako Hardeen, and much, much more!
(my branch of the 14-year old Anakin crashes on DC Earth is under the corn boy anakin au tag)
my meta tag for various thoughts, overwhelmingly star wars,
and my writing tag for miscellaneous things I wrote but don’t know where to put
400 followers celebration crack star wars truth-or-dare
misc song fics for the 700 followers celebration
Sideblog (gradually shifting my reblogs over here)
answers to asks
and, if you enjoyed this list so much that you feel like buying me a coffee or a cup of tea, or if you want to wistfully throw a coin in the magic fountain to try and nudge me towards a particular au, i’m on ko-fi and currently hoping to raise enough for one bubble tea
