We were trolled by a RL spammer at work today. This guy gave us the longest spiel ever heard by God or man about his status at our library and his long standing history with the university and how he wants this paper card the library issues to donors which is of ABSOLUTELY NO PRACTICAL USE other than as an aesthetic display of our appreciation, but which he MUST HAVE. Then when we tell him we cannot get him one of those cards, they are issued by the donor office, and how, honestly sir, it does not affect his privileges here in any way, he goes on to tell us his entire life story in slurred, almost unintelligible detail about how he is descended from African kings (AFRICAN KINGS, HOW IS THIS MY LIFE) and how this card is so very important to him to have in his wallet before he goes back to Princeton (WHERE HIS PRIVILEGES HERE WILL BE HOW MUCH USE TO HIM, EXACTLY?). And then because this was apparently delusional overshare hour, he told us about how he's going to go to the university hospital after he visits the library to get his foot checked out because it is bothering him and he is a member of the university, so he should have privileges there, too. (For the record, that's not how the university hospital works. He can't even use the med school library because they insist it be listed under a different heading than the university umbrella. Exclusivity complexes in the ivy leagues? Tell me something I don't bemoan every day of my life.) I DON'T KNOW, GUYS. I JUST I DON'T KNOW.