#ink.scribbleds

[inkscribbled]

"Somedays you will be old enough to read fairy tales again "

C.S Lewis

[inkscribbled]

they ask me what sort of person you wanna marry? and i want to tell them that i don't want to marry anyone. i used to say that when i was a child. they used to laugh and tell me that i'm being stupid. it wasn't in the way where all kids didn't want to get married but because growing up i saw so many relationships fall apart around me that i couldn't understand why people got married.

my parents had a love marriage but looking back at them i didn't understand where love was in that marriage. was bickering with each other over the silliest thing 'love' or was it yelling at minusicle things or calling names that you should never call your partner ?

i don't know if what they had was love but now i know that i don't want what they had. i don't want the fights on the dinner table that leaves me sobbing and neither do i want to slam my door on the way out to tell you that you crossed boundaries with me. to live in a house where i can't breath freely unless my partner goes out seems like a bizarre thing to get into.

some of you all have great marriages and that's incredible for you. but i can't picture that for myself, my images of love have been too scarred for me to belive that i'd willing fantasize about it. it's why i can picture myself falling in love but never as married person.