Hi! I want to begin dressing in lolita fashion, but I have a few concerns about my body type. I feel that my facial features may not be "soft" enough (I have a pointed nose). I am also curvy and busty. I'm not overweight by any means, but im 5'2" and my weight is carried in my breasts and thighs, a little in my tummy. I worry that I may not feel how I WANT to feel when Im in lolita. I know that these are things that dont actually matter, but do you have any tips on getting over this? Thank you!
Firstly, it’s easier to get over your insecurities when you’re wearing clothes that you feel suit you and flatter you. Your thighs don’t really matter in this case because your dresses and skirts will cover them up. If you’re worried your breasts might be something you’ll concern yourself with I would just avoid wearing button-up blouses, or if you do wear them, put them under a JSK so you won’t see the buttons. I often find myself feeling very self-conscious in button-up because I feel like the buttons are gapping even if they aren’t, so I just avoid buttons and I don’t have the problem of thinking about it and can put my energy toward more important things.
Really though, I find best thing to do is to say nice things about yourself! Give yourself compliments! Don’t focus on the things you don’t like or you don’t think are “lolita enough” and instead focus on the things you think are the best. Don’t think “I have a pointy nose.” Instead think “I have such pretty eyes.” Personally I don’t like my jawline very much, so I try not to think about it and instead focus on the fact that I love how long my eyelashes are and I adore the little beauty mark next to my eye. Sometimes I might even use makeup to accentuate these features like wearing mascara or even sometimes darkening the beauty mark to make it stand out more. (Of course this isn’t for everyone, not everyone likes wearing makeup as much as I do, but it’s worth suggesting if you do.)
Some of us have a lot of trouble with this though. It wasn’t until somewhat recently that I was able to some up with things I liked about myself though. It can take a lot of time and practice. One way I started to find a little more confidence is by reading body positive blogs. One of my favorite tips from them is to start seeing and appreciating the beauty in other people. I noticed that when I started doing that it became easier to do the same for myself. I’ve also found that dressing my best and wearing things that made me happy really helped a lot. I’ve made no secret on this blog that I’ve been in a funk lately and trying to dig myself out. Over the last few years or so I’ve been really getting into vintage fashion and I’ve found that it makes me feel so good about myself and has actually been inspiring me to get back into wearing lolita more regularly too.
Of course any time you consider wearing something new there might be this feeling of “what if it doesn’t look right on me?” but if it’s something you really love you’ll find a way to make it look right on you and you’ll feel all the better for taking the steps to make it happen. As far as I’m concerned lolita is a fashion for anyone who wants it.