Would it be okay if a beginners first coord was an OTT hime/sweet style? If said beginner was getting extensive help and advice from an experienced Lolita?
Your first coord can be whatever style you want it to be. There’s no rule that says your first coord has to be simple, that’s just a bit of advice that I might normally suggest just to make getting starting a little bit easier. If you feel confident in your ability to make an OTT sweet or hime coord that you’ll love and feel cute in right out of the gate, that’s awesome and you should go ahead and do that.
Im very young (12) and I really like Lolita, as soon as I saw it I was like, wow this is me ! As soon as I tried to talk to my parents about it however they immediately associated it with the book. Is there any way that I could add a little Lolita style into my life right now without going full on and making my parents mad at me ? (Your guide has really helped me feel better about who I am thank you )
Response from Lolita Tips:
A lot of lolita accessories are pretty easy to work into regular casual outfits. One of the simplest things you can do is to get lolita jewelry. There are a lot of places to find lolita and lolita-inspired jewelry. Take a look at what some of the bigger brands are making. While they’re definitely on the pricey side, they can serve as good inspiration for what you can look for elsewhere. I buy most of my jewelry from indie brands and shops on etsy.
After jewelry comes bigger accessories like headwear, bags, and shoes. Headwear may be a bit trickier because it’s hard to pull off a bonnet or giant headbow with jeans, but there are definitely smaller bows, clips, and such.
Really the only thing I don’t recommend are skirts, dresses, anything like that. They won’t really look right without a petticoat but if you do wear them with a petticoat it might be too close to lolita for your parents. Blouses and cutsews could be good options though. Even if they aren’t necessarily lolita, try looking for tops that have elements you’d commonly find in lolita blouses like ruffles and rounded collars.
I’d also maybe recommend taking a look at my Introduction to Lolita Fashion for Parents and Guardians which might help you out with talking to your parents about lolita. Hope this helps!
Greetings, I have long been interested in the lolita style but I finally want to get more into it. For several reasons, namely money and an aversion to radical change, I'd like to get into it gradually. Any idea how to start, keeping in mind that my style right now is very diffrent from it (dark/neutral colors, somewhat masculine, not at all lolita)?
If you want to ease into the fashion I always recommend starting by getting a few lolita pieces that you can incorporate into your current wardrobe for a casual but lolita-inspired look. For example, you can likely find lolita blouses that you can wear with a pair of jeans, or things like jewelry and brooches that work in lolita and out. This way you can get used to wearing the pieces, becoming accustomed to how they look on you and how they feel. Then over time you can add a skirt and petti and work the pieces you have into a more lolita look.
Hi there! I’m a new lolita and a young one, being 14 years old. I can’t get a job yet to afford Lolita so I work freelance doing commissions. I’ve finally saved enough for a JSK— but only one from a TaoBao reseller. I can’t decide if I should purchase this TaoBao JSK or save my money up for a Baby The Stars Shine Bright! Jsk. I want to enjoy Lolita sooner. But I’m so worried other lolitas won’t be kind about the main piece of my coordinate being off brand. Is offbrand acceptable? Please lmk! Ty!
Offbrand is more than acceptable! Brand is great, but the idea that wearing brand is the only way to be a lolita is extremely outdated and an opinion that very few lolitas hold anymore. It may have been the case back when Japan was the only place lolita was coming from, but now that the fashion has become more global there are so many other great places to find it. Don’t worry about whether something is brand, indie brand, offbrand, handmade, what have you. Do you like the piece? Does it appear to be good quality? Is it coming from a reputable seller that you can find reviews of or examples of their pieces being worn? Those are the important things. If the dress you’re looking at is one that you truly love and would make you happy, and it hits these other markers as well, go for it! If you like the brand dress more and think that one would make you happier, wait a little and save up for that. Or if you just want it because you’re a fan of BTSSB in general, maybe take a look at second hand communities to see if you can find a brand dress you love for a price that’s better for you.
To farther stress my point that brand doesn’t matter all that much, take a look at my list of where to buy lolita. It’s a little outdated and needs some updating but it gives you a lot of options for places that aren’t just the big Japanese brands.
Hi, I've just turned 20 and I'm ready to buy my first outfit,,,,but I'm not sure what style would fit me best. I think they are all beautiful! I just can't decide 😌
Don’t feel as though you have to choose one specific style and stick to it forever. Many lolitas don’t stick to just one style so don’t worry so much about that and just put together a coord that makes you happy. If it’s hard to pick a first coord I recommend starting by choosing a color scheme. What’s your favorite color or a color you think looks best on you? If you find that the color you choose suits a particular style best then start off with that style. Or, just find a main piece that you love and start with that. Is there a particular dress you’ve fallen in love with that just really speaks to you? Start with that and build your coord from there, focusing more on creating a cohesive coordinate rather than worrying too much about what style the coord is. Don’t feel as though your first coord has to set the stage for your entire wardrobe or that you have to pick one style and only ever wear that style. The style that suits you best is whatever makes you the happiest, and if that means wearing gothic lolita one day and sweet lolita the next, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just be true to yourself and don’t feel like you have to deny one thing you love in favor of another.
Hi! I want to begin dressing in lolita fashion, but I have a few concerns about my body type. I feel that my facial features may not be "soft" enough (I have a pointed nose). I am also curvy and busty. I'm not overweight by any means, but im 5'2" and my weight is carried in my breasts and thighs, a little in my tummy. I worry that I may not feel how I WANT to feel when Im in lolita. I know that these are things that dont actually matter, but do you have any tips on getting over this? Thank you!
Firstly, it’s easier to get over your insecurities when you’re wearing clothes that you feel suit you and flatter you. Your thighs don’t really matter in this case because your dresses and skirts will cover them up. If you’re worried your breasts might be something you’ll concern yourself with I would just avoid wearing button-up blouses, or if you do wear them, put them under a JSK so you won’t see the buttons. I often find myself feeling very self-conscious in button-up because I feel like the buttons are gapping even if they aren’t, so I just avoid buttons and I don’t have the problem of thinking about it and can put my energy toward more important things.
Really though, I find best thing to do is to say nice things about yourself! Give yourself compliments! Don’t focus on the things you don’t like or you don’t think are “lolita enough” and instead focus on the things you think are the best. Don’t think “I have a pointy nose.” Instead think “I have such pretty eyes.” Personally I don’t like my jawline very much, so I try not to think about it and instead focus on the fact that I love how long my eyelashes are and I adore the little beauty mark next to my eye. Sometimes I might even use makeup to accentuate these features like wearing mascara or even sometimes darkening the beauty mark to make it stand out more. (Of course this isn’t for everyone, not everyone likes wearing makeup as much as I do, but it’s worth suggesting if you do.)
Some of us have a lot of trouble with this though. It wasn’t until somewhat recently that I was able to some up with things I liked about myself though. It can take a lot of time and practice. One way I started to find a little more confidence is by reading body positive blogs. One of my favorite tips from them is to start seeing and appreciating the beauty in other people. I noticed that when I started doing that it became easier to do the same for myself. I’ve also found that dressing my best and wearing things that made me happy really helped a lot. I’ve made no secret on this blog that I’ve been in a funk lately and trying to dig myself out. Over the last few years or so I’ve been really getting into vintage fashion and I’ve found that it makes me feel so good about myself and has actually been inspiring me to get back into wearing lolita more regularly too.
Of course any time you consider wearing something new there might be this feeling of “what if it doesn’t look right on me?” but if it’s something you really love you’ll find a way to make it look right on you and you’ll feel all the better for taking the steps to make it happen. As far as I’m concerned lolita is a fashion for anyone who wants it.
There is something about lolita fashion that tends to bring about a sort of obsession in its wearers. Some lolitas are simply obsessed with filling up their closet with as many dresses as possible, but others take it to an even farther extreme and choose to take on a “lolita lifestyle.” This concept has been around for years, but what exactly does it mean? What is a lolita lifestyle and is it necessary to live this way to be a proper lolita?
The term “lifestyle lolita” describes someone who not only wears Lolita fashion, but also fills their life with elements of the fashion’s aesthetic. Often times the concept relates to ideals of Victorian, Rococo, and other historical periods which lolita draws inspiration from and can be associated with any and all aspects of the lolita’s life including home décor, preferred literature, self care regimens, etiquette, even the foods they eat. A lifestyle lolita loves the fashion so much that they want it to be a part of everything they do and strive to incorporate its beauty and elegance into every part of their lives.
One of the most common things that a lifestyle lolita might choose to do is to make over their living space, be it their bedroom or their entire home if they’re able to. This space will often become a reflection of the lolita’s favorite style or, for those of us who can’t choose just one, a mix of various styles. As mentioned before, many lifestyle lolitas draw inspiration from historical periods, much like the fashion itself, and therefore may choose to incorporate antiques and reproductions of historical furnishings into their space. Furniture styles and colors for walls are often chosen much like one would choose when putting together a coordinate and other décor is chosen like accessories. Someone who is most interested in classic lolita or more Victorian elements might choose muted colors, floral bedding, lace pillows, porcelain dolls, etc. A gothic lolita may choose to decorate with dark colors, rich fabrics, candles, and furniture reminiscent of Gothic architecture. A sweet lolita may choose to decorate in pastel colors with cute characters from Sanrio and princess-like furnishings.
Aside from the visual aspects of their lives, lifestyle lolitas might also take on hobbies and interests that relate to lolita aesthetics. It is no secret that tea parties are a common lolita pastime and lifestyle lolitas take them especially seriously. They may also take on hobbies such as reading classic literature, listening to classical music, attending ballets and operas, or even learning elegant sports like croquet. For those who are very serious about keeping with the lifestyle they may even choose to work this into their personalities. They may study Victorian etiquette, practice good posture and walking gracefully, and choose to present themselves in this elegant manner. In 2005, Live Journal user skyewishes posted to the EGL community a list of 101 Lolita Lifestyle Ideas which can give more insight into things a lifestyle lolita may be interested in. Many points about the lolita lifestyle were also discussed in the Lolita Handbook on Live Journal which was one of the most commonly used references for Western lolitas several years ago when Live Journal was the biggest gathering place for lolitas online.
Another element that is commonly associated with lifestyle lolitas is wearing lolita fashion every day, or, at the very least incorporating elements of it into one’s everyday wardrobe. Whether out on the town or lounging around the house on a lazy Saturday, a lifestyle lolita is likely sporting frills. For activities where lolita just isn’t appropriate, such as exercising or working a job or attending school where a uniform is required? They have found a way to incorporate elements of lolita into their mundane garb through colors, patterns, and whatever accessories they can. There has been some debate over what truly makes a lifestyle lolita, be it wearing the fashion every day or incorporating it into every other aspect of one’s life, but it is widely believed that the term is appropriate for both. In fact, it is often the case that the two go hand-in-hand.
The image of Momoko, the beloved character from Kamikaze Girls, may come to mind. Momoko is a lifestyle lolita in every sense. She wears the fashion daily, she listens to classical music, excels in the craft of embroidery, romanticizes the Rococo era, and even insists on eating only cute foods. Momoko is often seen as a lolita idol of sorts, and for many lolitas, her lifestyle seems ideal. Many new lolitas find themselves asking whether it is necessary for them to be interested in the lifestyle in order to be taken seriously as a lolita. This is just one of the many aspects of lolita that can make getting into the fashion seem like a daunting task. What if I don’t like tea? What if I can’t afford to wear lolita every day? What if classical music bores me to death and porcelain dolls creep me out?
There is an overwhelming amount of information about lolita available online, and to add the idea of having to be involved in a very specific lifestyle just to wear the fashion is absolutely intimidating. But the good news is, the lolita lifestyle is not, by any means, a necessity. Lolitas are individuals like any others and while you may have the fashion in common that does not mean that all of your interests must be the same. Maybe you find that you want to incorporate the fashion into your life in small ways like hanging postcards of Lolita models and brand prints on your wall, but swapping your furniture out for antiques seems like a bit much. Maybe you want to start experimenting with drinking more tea, but the idea of indulging in afternoon tea everyday strikes you as excessive. Or maybe you don’t want to do any of these things! All of these are fine. There is no rule that dictates that the fashion must encompass your entire life and there is no rule that dictates that you must wear the fashion every day. You can wear lolita fashion and listen to whatever music you like, watch whatever movies you like, and read whatever books you like. If you would rather drink coffee than tea, that’s okay, you can still be a lolita. If you would rather watch a football game than a symphony, that’s okay, you can still be a lolita. If you want to wear sweet lolita one day and jeans and a t-shirt another day, that’s okay, you can still be a lolita. Whether or not you are a lolita is not dependant on your personality or your other interests, it is solely dependent on wearing and loving the fashion.
(This article was originally posted in May of 2016 to Cosplay Crisis and has been modified to fit Tumblr formatting. Photos have remained formatted as they were when the article was originally published.)
Hi! I just found your blog through google and It makes me so happy! I love the look of Lolita style. how do you sort of transition from sort of a “normal” wardrobe to a more Lolita centered style on a budget?? I’m a College student and have very little money to spend on myself so do you have any tips or suggestions? Because rn I’m not exactly capable of dropping $400 usd on a big dress with a corset, chunky heels, and a wig w/o my mother getting very mad at me. Thanks^,~^,
My biggest tip is to not try diving into it all at once. Maybe start with some pieces that you can work into your current wardrobe such as loliable shoes, a bag, jewelry, maybe even a blouse or a cutsew that you could wear with jeans or something for a lolita-inspired casual look. The next time you’re ready to buy something, make it something you can easily coordinate with that first piece and eventually work your way up to a full coord. It’s also important to know that you don’t have to spend $400 on a dress. There are plenty of places you can buy lolita dresses that are much cheaper than that. A few years ago I put together this shopping list and while it definitely needs a lot of updating (some stores have closed, new ones have opened, some have changed their price range, etc.) it’s still a good starting point. There are plenty of indie brands and shops that have pieces that are more affordable on a budget plus there is a thriving second hand lolita community where you can buy some of those bigger brand pieces for a fraction of the original cost. You might also look at some inspiration and become more familiar with what is necessary to create a lolita coordinate. While corsets and wigs can be great additions to coords, they absolutely are not necessary. Your clothes and accessories don’t have to be elaborate and expensive to make for a lovely coord.
