Just imagine dry humping with subby chubby beefy Bucky. Using him for your pleasure, moaning and whining while you hump and grind yourself all over him. Heâs a shy baby who canât believe someone who looks like you would be so into someone like him. No amount of convincing works, which is how you both ended up on the couch with you straddled on his lap, rubbing yourself on his achingly hard length.Â
You worship him, whispering the sweetest words while taking your clothes off one by one, leaving you in just the tiniest pair of lace panties, rubbing your clit right where the tip of his cock rests in his pants.Â
âYouâre so pretty like this, big boyâ Your hands grip onto his thick shoulders, your fingers toying with the hair at the nap of his neck, tugging it every so slightly. His face is flushed, pink lips parted, gasping every time you move just right, his balls heavy, âMy pretty baby boyâÂ
âOh Godâ He whimpers, feeling spurts of precum drip from the tip, his entire body throbbing from how good it feels. At some point you lean back, grasping onto his thighs, putting your body in display for him while you continue to swivel your hips on his erection and he swears heâs died and gone to heaven.Â
âFuck, Jamesâ You chant and moan his name, brows knitted together, refusing to take your eyes off him because heâs the one who makes you feel this good. You get off just getting to rub yourself on him and he better know it. He hesitates to touch you but when you throw your arms around his neck again, your breasts practically in his face, he canât help but grab onto you.Â
âAngelâ He warns as best as he can, his cock his leaking and making a mess in his his pants, heâs going to blow his load if you donât stop but you grind down hard on him and circle your hips. âS-slow down, I-pleaseâÂ
He doesnât want to blow just yet, he loves how you worship him, you turn into such a needy slutty kitten, making him feel so good and what kind of boyfriend would he be if he came in his pants like a little boy. He tries so hard to hold on, to stop himself from cumming but you make it impossible.Â
You notice his hands grip you harder, his fingers digging into your soft flesh hard enough to leave bruises, chest heaving up and down. You let out a moan right by his ear at his cock swells, balls pulling tight to his body. Before he could say anything, sticky ropes of his spend throb out his cock from where your pussy humps him perfectly.Â
He buries his face into your bare chest, taking a nipple into his mouth to muffle his moans, his hips stuttering from underneath, his large form under you squirming and trembling. You register his needy ministrations, hiding his face between broken moans, puffs of air hitting your warm skin as he pants. You pause your movement, your hands coming up to his face, pulling him away from your chest.Â
âDid you cum baby?â You cup his scruffy cheek, making him look at you, his sweet blue eyes looking at you with shyness, the blush on his cheeks spreading to his ears. He nods, refusing to meet your eyes while you coo, kissing his face before capturing his soft lips. All he can do is nod, still looking away from you, nervously squeezing your hips in his large hands.Â
âSorry, I couldn't hold itâ He whispered making you fall in love with him more.Â
âDid it feel good, handsome?â Your nose bumped against his, loving the smile that graced his lips, blinking up at you. âI want to make you feel good, babyâÂ
His eyes grow wide when you slink off his lap and start to tug at the waistband of his pants, urging him to lift his hips so you can pull them down to his knees. He wants to squeeze his thighs shut, he isnât even hard anymore. He doesnât think youâd want to look at him when heâs soft, made a mess all over himself.Â
âAngel, what are you-â
âGotta clean you up, big boyâ You take his softening cock, covered his silky cream into your mouth, lapping him right up, loving the slutty, desperate moan he lets out. Heâs so sensitive, body jolting with each lap of your tongue but youâre not gonna be finished with him until he gets how perfect he is for you.Â
Lawyer!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Original Female Character
Summary: James never thought about happiness too much, but stumbling into a bakery one evening promises to sweet his life in a new way with a bakery with a soft smile and kind words
Warnings: Well, James has a terrible relationship with his dad so jerk!dad alert, but other than that itâs sweet feelings and insecure!Bucky.
The dream of becoming an author, or even an editor at a nice publishing company was something Emilia had really banked on but eventually let go.
It had been her dream to have some physical representation of all of her thoughts and feelings. To have those be something people clung onto and enjoyed to read. Though, the older she got, the less she felt the pull towards that aspiration and the more she felt set on something else.
It was like an itch she could not quite ever scratch.
It was as though said itch had not been scratched since her dad had died when she was 15. The memories of her father teaching her to bake with such love and patience put through cupcakes, danishes, and just about anything he knew to bake. A thick recipe book in his handwriting was always open on the counter where heâd point and explain things to her, watching as she absorbed the information like a sponge.
But when he died, it was as though she couldnât bear the thought of turning an oven on until her brother had taken her to grief counseling where it was okay to be sad, and it was okay to feel confused and all around lost about the loss of the person who made up half of her DNA suddenly being gone.
Nothing about your parents being gone is easy, and it never got easier but she got used to the dull hum she felt in her chest when she thought about him out of the blue. Most times she liked to believe that when that happened it was because he was thinking of her, too.
She did her time, and she got an undergraduate degree in English lit and she was proud of herself for reading endless amounts of Chaucer and analyzing countless poems from Keats but she needed more. She wanted more.
She wanted her dad to be somehow in her life, even if he was gone in all forms aside from her memories.
So she worked, and she worked hard as an editor for a small local publishing company in Colorado, but the days left her exhausted and the clients were less than kind.
However, she had gotten an idea in her head.
An idea that had been a fleeting thought that she hadnât been able to let go of. It was always in the back of her mind, and she couldnât quite let it go and chalk it up to a pipedream because it made her body thrum with excitement of the sheer potential of it all.
Which is how endless amounts of research and emails to leasing ads led her to Newburyport, Massachusetts one chilly morning receiving the key from the man selling with her brother, Blaine by her side.
After much deliberation, she had chosen to use the money her father had left for her to buy the bakery as well as get everything set up to have it up to par.
It was a two story brick building with the setup on the bottom meant for business while the second floor was an apartment which was wildly convenient. Overall, the place needed a bit of work in terms of getting it ready for business, but it was something she felt so proud and honored to have so she didnât mind it at all.
The apartment was led up to by a flight of stairs in the back kitchen which led to the front door of her loft which was straight out of a dream.
With the coat closet directly to the right with a half restroom adjacent to the front door, the kitchen was directly to the left of the door. The kitchen was spacious and open, looking over the dining area where she had barstools set up facing the counter and a longer, light colored dining room table.
The table was before the living room area where Emilia had a sectional couch Blaine had insisted on buying her alongside the rug he insisted matched the entire feeling her home gave off. Blaine insisting on choosing the couch meant it was expensive, plush, and perfectly matched with the rug.
She and Blaine had set up the couch so it was facing the left wall with the TV mounted onto the wall after much struggle. Directly in front of the living room area was a large window where she had set up her desk where she found herself settling on long nights writing down bursts of ideas.
In the corner was a flight of stairs which led up to her loft bedroom, a dream she had only ever kept in the back of her mind but found fulfilled with the purchase of the building.
The stairs curved right where to the left was a nook Emilia had set up with short bookshelves and a couple of lovely love seats. To the right of the stairs was where she had her bedroom area, the headboard of her bed was pushed against the furthest left wall with a wardrobe against the far right wall.
To the left of her bed was an open closet area before it led into her restroom.
It had taken months and months to get everything right and to get it all to feel akin to home. Bookshelves here, record player underneath the stair area, and getting the little things fixed around such as having blankets in the right places and art hung on the right walls.
But after much work, it all felt like it was meant to be where it was and thatâs all she had ever wanted.
_________________
Jamesâ life was somber.
At least, thatâs how heâd go about describing it if he were in need of providing an adjective to give a solid foundation regarding his life.
There was nothing particularly invigorating about his life, and he found himself feeling as though he were running on a monotonous treadmill that led him to feeling as though he were in a vicious cycle.
Sure he had a lot going for him at the age of 26, and he was well aware of that, but it wasnât enough. It left him feeling empty after a long day but he couldnât complain because in retrospect he was living an absolutely fulfilling and successful life.
An affluent upbringing with his powerful parents consisting of a litigator father who was a force to be reckoned with and a mother who was a well respected pediatric surgeon. Their life was more than comfortable and they oozed the upper class family feeling with every opportunity.
Their first and only son, James Buchanan Barnes, was their pride in joy as he excelled in lacrosse throughout his schooling, but was also academically gifted which the Royce Academy, a school which his parents dumped over $40,000 in tuition into, helped develop and turn him into a properly educated member of society.
They had the money, the status, the picture perfect life, but what else did they have?
Two successful parents meant two busy parents. Byron, his father, spent more time cooped up in his offices lining up this or that, or working up a case file. Victoria, his mother, practically lived at the hospital sometimes, though she was home more often, it wasnât by much.
He had grown more than accustomed to spending evenings alone, and simply shrugging with a soft smile when other parents would ask about his own when they were missing from yet another varsity lacrosse game.
Eventually it came time to choose a major for his undergraduate degree and his father had led him into the study for a serious conversation.
When asked about his true interests, James knew better than to mention his appreciation for photography after his father had smashed his Canon AE-1 35mm after having received an A- on a chemistry midterm.
James had opted to tell him he wasnât sure but he was debating between criminal law and business which earned a firm nod from his father.
His father wasnât someone you argued with.
Byron continued on to tell James, âYou will continue the family tradition and carry on the family legacy. You can come work with me at my firm or at another firm I approve of,â He told James who nodded and thanked him before heading up to his room.
He wished he couldâve said something, anything, but after years of getting his ass handed to him verbally and sometimes physically, he knew better than to test the waters with his father.
So he didnât, and he shut his mouth and appreciated the fact that his father paid for his tuition, his housing, and other expenses without batting an eye for 6 years of school after high school.
Years of private school from preschool through high school went into breeding what Byron Barnes considered to be a mediocre man, at best.
James had managed to work hard enough to finish his undergrad degree in criminal law in three years after having successfully obtained enough dual enrollment credits in high school to have him enter as a sophomore during his freshman year of college.
Graduating from his fatherâs alma mater, Yale, by 21 and obtaining high marks on the LSAT meant he got his top choice of law school which was Columbia Universityâs law school where he passed the bar exam with flying colors.
By 24 he was working with Bryerâs and Barnes after his father had secured him a junior partner position before he could interview for one anywhere else.
He was too afraid to say no, so he took it.
So here he was, 26, successful, working for his father who was more domineering than ever but he was successful, all things considered.
He had a beautiful apartment with a beautiful view, a nice car, a well paid salary, expensive suits, nice shoes, and everything he could ever want.
But he felt empty and as though he were just going through the motions and attempting to avoid getting yelled at by his father at another faculty meeting in front of everyone. By this point he was certain his father got a deep sense of satisfaction from humiliating him in front of everyone when he got the chance.
It was early on that he had schooled his emotions around his father and he could take the verbal beating and nod before giving a smile to everyone else staring at him to let them know he was alright, and that it was all fine.
Most days he walked out of the office feeling defeated and as though he were on the verge of either crying or screaming, but he never did. He instead let himself memorize all of the flaws he had, and how they impacted his work and why he was such a disaster which led to his father acting how he did.
__________________
âThis is garbage!â Walter yelled while standing from his mahogany desk, âRewrite this, immediately, and have it on my desk by tomorrow afternoon. I will not be humiliated because you are handing in substandard work!â Slamming down the file, he gave James a disgusted look and James nodded before grabbing the file and heading out.
Ignoring the glances, he looked at the clock and felt elated because it was time to leave.
Heading into his office, he quickly collected his items and placed them into his satchel before saying goodbye to his assistant Miley and the receptionist, Lyra who had wished him a nice day.
Fishing out his keys after the elevator ride, he remembered he had parked down the street and around the corner because the parking lot had been closed for repaving and the closer parking spots along the sidewalk had been taken.
Walking, he forced himself to take deep breaths because he had worked so hard on forming the outline for his fatherâs most recent case and obtaining all of the information but it had still not been enough.
Nothing was ever enough, and he was sure that reflected on the way he saw himself as a person which was less than kind and more bad than good.
Crossing the street, he glanced into the shops he passed and smiled a bit at them before turning the corner and breathing a sigh of relief as he saw his car but as he reached his car, he looked up and saw a bookstore directly in front of where his car was parked, but to the right was something else.
The sign read Rainy Day Bakery which caught his attention.
He should get home, he should. He should work on redoing the argument but he had been craving something sweet so before he knew it he was crossing the street and looking into the place.
Pulling open the door, a bell chimed above his head and he looked around to see it was painted a very light yellow and it felt so cozy, and warm.
There were a few richly colored wooden tables around the sides and in the front had two large display cases side by side with the register to the right before a longer counter with a few stools there for seating.
Behind the front counter was a larger counter with other items such as an espresso machine but before he could see the rest, the double doors flew open and out came a woman holding a tray with both hands smiling at him.
He felt as though he were a huge goof because he was taken aback by the girl, but he tried to play it off.
But she didnât say anything, she only smiled more when he returned the smile and she walked behind the display case where she filled the designated section with what seemed to be red velvet cupcakes.
James looked at his options but he couldnât choose between the strawberry and cream cheese danish and the blueberry muffin.
âLet me just put this back in the kitchen and Iâll help you, okay?â She asked softly and James nodded mutely because she could have been the human embodiment of calm.
This entire place was the embodiment of calm, and it felt like a soft hug but when she returned he hadnât chosen yet but he was starving.
âI- I canât decide between the blueberry muffin and the danish,â He explained sheepishly and she smiled at him in understanding, âWell if itâs any consolation, theyâre both delicious,â
James nodded and he knew he should be eating something that had protein because he had skipped lunch in favor of finishing the outline but he was too deep into this to leave.
Plus he didnât want to leave because he wanted the girl behind the counter to smile at him forever but he quickly snapped himself out of it and opted for the Danish because he thought he was being annoying with all of this internalized debating.
âWonderful choiceâŠ. Did you want a coffee to go alongside it?â She asked and James found himself nodding before asking for a vanilla cappuccino since he thought itâd compliment the danish well and she nodded dutifully.
She gestured with her hands as she told him to take a seat, but instead of sitting in the back corner as he would usually do anywhere else he sat himself in one of the stools alongside the counter and watched as she got everything together.
He didnât know her name but he was sure it would be beautiful.
She wore a dark green knit sweater with a french tuck with a rose gold necklace, black jeans, and casual sneakers.
Did he blatantly stare at her ass when she turned around to the espresso machine? Yes, but he couldnât help himself either.
Her chestnut brown hair was a bit below her shoulders in a half up half down way clipped in the back with a yellow clip. She was on the small side, shorter than him by quite a bit but he felt her sense of being was bigger than his.
Sooner than later, she walked over to him and placed his items in front of him, âI really hope you like them.â She told him sincerely and he found himself asking for her name because he needed to know, even if they never spoke again he just had to know.
âEmilia,â She told him, and it fit her so perfectly that when she asked him for hers he said, âJames Buchanan Barnes,â instead of just James and he felt like such a fool-
âOh, full names? Well then I am Emilia Mattea Pearson,â Emilia told him with a grin and he couldnât help but grin back because he was stupid but she was as sweet as can be.
Looking down at the danish, he picked it up to take a bite and it was probably the most delicious thing to ever grace the Earth and when he looked up she was watching him with a small smile.
Swallowing, he wiped his mouth with a napkin, âThatâs really delicious,â James told her, and the way she lit upâŠ. Well heâd tell her everything she ever made was delicious if he were ever given the chance again.
She left him to eat, and he ate and sipped his coffee as he looked around and ignored the satchel on the seat next to him and all of the weight it left him with.
But before he knew, Emilia was returning with something else on a plate and she gently set it on the counter and slid it to him before explaining, âI figured you were hungry for something other than just a pastry considering youâre dressed so formally so I can only imagine you came here from an office-â She stopped herself and blushed, âSorry, Iâm rambling,â
Emilia flushed and this guy was so handsome and he had been so kind she couldnât help herself but James shook his head.
âNo, no. Donât- thank you. I did come from work and I am hungry, but I couldnât stop myself from coming here, you know? But donât apologize for talking, I like it,â James told her and Emilia nodded, both of them looking at one another before James broke eye contact and looked at what she had brought him.
âItâs a turkey and cheese croissant,â She told him and James smiled for what felt like the hundredth time since he had come into this place, but he didnât mind it all too much either.
Before long, he had finished his danish and coffee before tucking into his turkey and cheese croissant which didnât last long either. He ate while watching Emilia who walked back and into the back kitchen and came out, wiped down counters, and did things while there was music playing in the background softly.
She let him eat in silence without bothering him, but when she saw he was done she quickly collected his dishes and thanked him for eating there but he told her the pleasure was all his.
Standing, he collected his satchel and slung it over his shoulder, noting how the memory of his father bearing down on him about his work made it feel heavier, but he ignored it in favor of retrieving his wallet and meeting Emilia in front of the register.
Paying, he handed her a $20 bill and dumped the change into the tip jar with a shrug, âItâs the least I can do for such a lovely pre-dinner meal,â James told her and Emilia handed him his receipt with a soft smile
Her smile shouldnât be that welcoming, but it was.
Everything about her was welcoming and James found himself wanting to run directly into it after having met her only an hour before, but he couldnât help himself. She was something else entirely.
But this was something he couldnât risk, he couldnât risk ruining things and leaving her damaged because he was damaged goods and not worth the effort.
Readjusting his bag, he nodded to her before saying, âBye, Emilia. Thank you,â Though her words felt heavy on his tongue, Emilia nodded, âThank you, James. I hope you come by again?â She spoke as more of a question at the end of her sentence and though he knew he should stay away and stop himself from becoming attached he found himself nodding.
âOf course. Iâll be back⊠Maybe tomorrow? Uh- itâs Friday and I get off early so I can come by tomorrow for lunch if thatâs okay,â He stuttered out.
âThat would be great. Iâll have new items tomorrow, I promise,â
One final glance at her and he bid her goodbye once more at the door before leaving, not noticing the way Emilia watched him look both ways before crossing the street and entering a sleek black car before pulling away from the curb.
But as he did pull away, and even though his satchel sat there with work to be redone, he found himself smiling a bit as he drove down the roads towards his apartment.
_______________
By late afternoon, James hadnât come around and while she knew getting out of work early meant different things for different people, she had expected to see him coming around at about 2 or 3pm, but he hadnât so she decided to get her mind off of it and handle her customers.
But when the bakery was empty, she found herself thinking of James and how he seemed so subdued in an abnormal way which let her know something was bothering him.
It might be friends, family, relationships, or even just life in and of itself, but something had James so down.
Though it did make her feel better when she remembered she had managed to make him smile a few times, a few sincere times and that was enough to make her feel as though she had been some type of help after all.
It was around 6:30pm and she was thinking about closing since it had been slowing down but when she looked up from the display case she saw James pulling the door open looking exhausted. He looked as though he was ready to just sink into the ground beneath him.
He walked in and took a deep breath before walking over to the display case where Emilia watched him quietly but carefully, worried about him because he seemed so sad today.
âCan I have the caramel praline cheesecake, please?â He asked and Emilia nodded, gesturing for him to sit down. She watched as he practically dragged his feet over to where he sat the day prior, setting his satchel down with a dull thump onto the stool next to his own.
It was quiet while she got everything ready, making sure to make him an extra hot vanilla caramel macchiato, quickly setting it in front of him before getting a good look at him face to face.
âHi James,â She said as he took his first sip, smiling a bit before looking at her and saying, âHi Emilia, how are you?â
âI am good. Better now that youâre here,â Emilia told him sincerely and he froze a bit at the comment, not expecting it but he tried to play it off as best he could. Was she really glad he was there or was she just being polite?
She had to just mean it in a polite way.
âHow are you?â Emilia asked him and watched as he thought for a moment before answering.
âLong day at work,â James responded and Emilia felt as though maybe he did want to talk about it, but he needed to be prompted to do so, so she did.
âDo you want to talk about it? Iâm a good listener, I promise,â
He took a bite of the cheesecake and a sip of coffee before nodding, âUh- I was supposed to be out of the office by 2:00 or 2:30 at the latest but my boss was unhappy with my rewritten argument outline and work so he made me rewrite it again, and then edit it again,â He explained, remembering the words his father had spoken word for word.
âI simply do not understand what I paid so much in tuition for if you are incompitent and unable to form a clear and concise argument- even after I told you to rewrite it because it was weak.â Byron yelled and James lowered his head.
âYou have the audacity to hand me this piece of utter garbage as rewritten work? This is shit. I expect this level of work from a fifth grade, not a 26 year old attorney! You embarrass me!â Byron continued, âDid you even try?â
James looked up and nodded, âI did try. I tried a lot. My best.â He responded but his father slammed his hand on the desk and shook his head, âThen your best isnât enough. Rewrite it, get it done better, make sure it isnât complete shit before even coming near me with that againâŠ. And you can forget about getting out early if youâre going to fuck around,â
It had taken another try, albeit only a few edits but his father had only pointed to the door when he approved of the final file.
âIâm so sorry, James,â Emilia said, stepping forward a bit, âIâm sure your work was spectacularâŠ. Where do you work?â
Swallowing his mouthful of coffee, he gestured lightly with his head back, âBryerâs and Barnes law firm,â Looking up, he saw the recognition of his last name and the firmâs name and she tilted her head.
âIâm guessing your last name being Barnes isnât just a coincidence?â
James shook his head with a smile that didnât quite reach his eyes, âNot at all. My dad is the current owner and head partner, but it was started by my great great grandfather way back when,â He told her and she understood.
âSo itâs a family tradition to be a lawyer?â Emilia asked and she suddenly remembered the sandwich she had for James in the kitchen and she felt excited to have him try it since she was experimenting a bit with his taste buds.
James nodded again, âIt is. But considering the way my father reacts to my work, I would say the natural knack for being an attorney skipped a generation,â James finished the sentence with a humorless laugh, but Emilia didnât like how he used himself as the butt of a joke.
âDonât say that. Iâm sure youâre a fantastic attorney and Iâm sure you excel. Parents are⊠parents are tough sometimes.â
Looking up, he saw she looked worried and that was the last thing he wanted so he nodded in agreement, âIâll take your opinion to heart,â He told her as he patted his chest with his right hand.
She grinned and told him sheâd return before she quickly went to the back to warm up the sandwich she had made for him in the broiler, leaving James to watch her as she left.
It had been an awful day and he wanted nothing more than to burrow into his bed and never leave again, simply withering away but at least it was Friday. Plus, Emilia had looked so happy to see him, so it was like a balancing act of that day.
Soon enough, she returned and she pushed another sandwich towards him, explaining that it was a mozzarella and tomato sandwich with avocado on a nice french baguette.
âYou treat me too well,â James said pulling the plate towards him and Emilia bounced on her heels watching him take a bite which of course, was heaven on Earth, and he told her as such.
She clapped her hands together but was distracted by the bell above the door ringing and in walked a man and his son, his son quickly ran over to the display case and Emilia excused herself for a second as she went over to tend to her customers.
James sat and watched, smiling to himself despite his awful day as he watched Emiliaâs soft mannerisms with them and the way she was patient with the kid who couldnât make up his mind about the brownie or the cupcake.
Emilia chatted with the father who told her they had spent the afternoon at the park since he had gotten 100% on his spelling test which compelled Emilia to slide in a chocolate chip cookie for the kid as a reward before closing the box.
She was just so⊠kind and he couldnât help but compare Emilia to something cozy and welcoming.
Soon enough though, they were on their way and Emilia watched them with a bit of a sad look but soon enough, it was gone and she was back standing in front of him, watching him but he didnât feel uncomfortable under her gaze.
âHow do you like being an attorney?â Emilia asked and James pondered for a bit before answering, âItâs a good job, it pays well and it lets me have a comfortable life,â He said, and Emilia knew it sounded rehearsed so she shook her head.
âNo, I mean how do you like it? Do you like what you do?â She asked before realizing it was really quite the personal question and she apologized, âOh- Iâm so sorry, thatâs such a personal question,â
But James assured her it was fine, âDonât worry, itâs not. Youâre uh- youâre easy to talk to⊠As for my job, it's fine. I donât dislike it, it fills my days up with things to do so itâs alright,â
Before silence could consume them, Emiliaâs phone started ringing on the counter behind her and she excused herself when she saw it, said Blaine, quickly answering it as she moved away from James to be polite.
He tried to not listen, but even though he did listen for a bit of it he didnât really understand but Emilia told whoever was on the other end about a couch and a rug before they said goodbye.
That is what really stuck to him.
âYes I will take care of it, Blaine. I love you too, bye,â She said before she hung up and set her phone down.
Did she have a boyfriend? Of course she had a boyfriend,
There was no way that anyone like Emilia; so sweet, so pretty, so⊠perfect, would be single. Especially with all of the customers she got on a daily basis, she was bound to be involved with someone.
As she turned back to James who had set down his sandwich and seemed to be full of thoughts.
âIs that um-â James tried to stutter out, but Emilia was patient as she rested along the counter behind her, âWas that your boyfriend, I mean,â He said as he gestured towards her phone.
Emilia laughed.
She let out a genuine laugh, but James knew it was directed towards him or even at him as he let himself listen to her laugh so hard she was wheezing for a second before she regained her composure and stood up straight.
âSorry, sorry,â She said as she huffed a breath before she explained, âNo. That was my brother, Blaine. He helped me move here and he left a sweatshirt that Iâm holding hostage because I want to keep it,â
It all made sense and James felt the slightest bit foolish for ever asking the question.
âSorry, Iâm being nosey,â James said as he picked up his sandwich, but Emilia wasnât letting him apologize as she waved him off with a smile.
âNot at all, being nosey is how you get to know people,â She told him as she reached for a rag behind her, âBut no, I donât have a boyfriend? Do you? Have a girlfriend or boyfriend?â
Emilia was twisting it as James chewed his sandwich before answering, âNo. No girlfriend,â He affirmed, smiling back at Emilia looked satisfied with the answer before she busied herself with fixing the display case as he finished off the sandwich.
Before long James was finished paying and found himself standing in front of Emilia with the counter separating them but the smile Emilia sent him made him feel close to her.
âIâll see you next week?â Emilia asked, resting her hands on the counter, pushing herself up a bit and James nodded quickly.
âIâll be here. I promise,â He confirmed before he sent one final smile to her with a wave before heading out to go to his apartment where he would spend the rest of his evening alone with his trusty confidant: Alpine.
But somehow it seemed less lonely because he had something akin to friendship, right?
_________________
He tried to stay away.
It wasnât logical, perhaps, but he couldnât allow himself to get attached.
He was something to be held at armâs length, and he had been shown that his entire life so it was only a matter of time until that was demonstrated and he ruined things.
James knew he had a habit of making a mess of things, and it was represented in every aspect of his life from his work to the way his father treated him. All of the wrongdoings he had once done always came back to bite him, and he couldnât fathom hurting Emilia because he was too much of a mess.
As much as he found himself wanting to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Emilia he stayed away.
That was until Wednesday.
He had been avoiding it at all costs. He couldnât go back in there and allow himself to find comfort in a person because it somehow made leaving all that much more dreadful.
It was dangerous to become attached to someone like James.
But when he had been eviscerated by his father for mentioning an alternate route on an argument he couldnât fathom going home alone again.
He was finally able to escape work at nearly 7 after hours and hours of fake smiles he passed onto everyone like a robot. In a reflection of his inner turmoil, the sky was opened up and drowning the world in cold rain that had him soaked in no time.
He let his feet take him where they would as he jogged and loosened his tie with the hand not holding the briefcase he could cease to never see again because he felt his tie was threatening to choke him, but as if the universe were attempting to body slam him into an early grave: when he tugged on the cafe door it was locked.
Sighing, he wiped rain out of his eyes and sighed, but Emilia was suddenly pulling open the door, taking hold of his hand as she ushered him in before locking the door behind them once more. Â
âYouâre soaked,â She said as she reached out to touch his hair, âCome on, I- I closed but you can- Jesus, just come on.â
Allowing her to take him by the hand, she led him around the counter he had been missing from for days, through the kitchen which was spotless, and up the stairs to a front door but all James was attached to was the fact that she was holding his hand.
They entered what had to be her apartment, and he took it all in as he stood in his soaked shoes before quickly kicking them off.
âIâll be right back,â She told him dutifully before heading to her bedroom leaving James to look around her apartment.
The only way he could describe it was with the word âwarmâ. It was so well decorated, and it had such beautiful lighting with everything fitting together in a way his didnât.
Where his apartment looked like it was straight out of a living magazine, top end furniture with everything expensive, hers just looked like an actual home with someone with a soul living there.
But she was soon returning with a bright smile on her face.
âIâm sorry, I donât have anything that will fit you,â She apologized to him, âWell I do have shirts but not pants.â
âDonât apologize.â He told her as he took the towel she offered, letting her usher him to one of the barstools as he wiped off his face.
Much to his surprise, she began drying off his hair with a genuine softness he hadnât encountered since God knows when. But soon enough she was collecting the towels and letting them dry on one of the chairs.
âI couldâve just grabbed a couple of kitchen towels,â She said in retrospect as she walked around the counter, âBut the bathroom ones are so much softer,â
James grinned at her, âIâm sorry for showing up after closing looking like a homeless dog,â He apologized sheepishly but Emilia wasnât hearing any of it as she waved him off.
âNo, Iâm glad youâre here. It makes me glad to know youâre alive and that you havenât forgotten about me,â She informed him as she grabbed a couple of oven mitts from a drawer and put them on, opening the oven door to take something out.
Her dinner.
James felt so impolite and out of place, he began apologizing profusely.
âIâm so sorry for just barging in on you during dinner,â He said as he tried to stand, Emilia reaching over the counter to gently pull him back down, âI didnât mean to interrupt your dinner,â
âStop apologizing, Iâm glad youâre here, okay? I like spending time with you,â She insisted with a smile that James was certain could derail a burglary, âI was downstairs because I forgot to shut off the registerâs computer but it was good timing because I was there for your arrival,â
She gathered two plates alongside a serving spoon with a deft skill developed only through repetition before asking, âI made baked ziti. Do you like ziti?â
âIâll eat anything you make,â He confessed, a blush coating his cheeks but Emilia just preened at his comment, serving him a healthy portion before handing it over to him before doing the same for herself.
They were soon eating, James barely containing a moan at how delicious it tasted.
âWhy are you standing up?â He finally asked as Emilia was standing across from him, but she just shrugged with an easy smile.
âI like standing while eating sometimes, itâs good for digestion or something,â She told him as she gestured with her fork, âDo you like it?â
He nodded vigorously, âItâs delicious. I- thank you, Emilia. Iâm sorry Iâve beenâŠ. Absent,â He apologized as he looked down towards the yellow plate before him, spearing a few pieces of pasta with his fork.
âDonât apologize for working and being otherwise occupied. Youâre here now and thatâs what matters, right?â
James didnât respond but he gave her a lopsided smile that sent more butterflies in her stomach than could be contained within a museum. The silence between them was comfortable, almost like a blanket on a chilly day.
Before long they were both finished, James insisting on washing the dishes as Emilia stood nearby and asked about his day where she saw his physical reaction to his job being mentioned.
He became tense and uneasy, telling her his job was truly making him unhappier than he bothered to let on.
âIt was⊠work,â James said before sighing in defeat, unable to find the will to put up a front, âIt was fucking terrible. I- I suggested an alternate route of argument and use of information and my dad flipped out and just went off so that really dampened my mood,â
She listened dutifully as James told her what had happened, telling her the harsh words spoken to him by the very many whose sole responsibility was to love him unconditionally and support him.
âOh James,â Emilia said as she moved to stand beside him and take the plate he was clutching in his hand out of his tight grip, setting it onto the drying rack but instead of asking how he felt- that much was obvious- she interlocked her left arm with his right and pulled him along, âCome on, Iâll give you a tour.â
That cracked a smile out of him as she took him around, the seemingly unbearable weight that had been on his shoulders was soon anything but there.
âThese are my photos, I thought they looked nice on the wall and on the bookshelves,â She told him as she showed him the photos of her family, explaining every photo he pointed to in curiosity regarding the backstory.
There was one hung on the wall where the TV was mounted, it was obviously a younger version of Emilia, Â no older than four on the hip of a man who could only ever be her father given the similarities.
Their same eyes, beautiful smiles, and genuine happiness on the beach behind them.
âThatâs my dad,â Emilia said as she gently traced a finger on the photo, âThat day; my dad packed us for the beach instead of school and we drove out to the bay where we spent the entire day together just doing whatever we felt was right,â
James smiled at the photo, seeing all of her father in her in such a beautiful feminine way.
âAre you two still close?â He asked.
Emilia stared at the picture a bit longer before blinking herself out of the trance she was in and she turned to James with a sad smile.
âHe passed away when I was fifteen, and all it took was a drunk driver on a late night,â Emilia explained, âBut I owe everything to him. Everything I want, I have, and thatâs because of him,â
He asked her what she meant and she gestured around with her hands.
âAll of this is thanks to himâŠ. I went to college and majored in English and while I loved it there was always this pull towards something else, something more,â She began explaining, âGrowing up my dad loved to cook, and he always had me with him, telling me about this and that while he was cooking. This made me just gravitate towards the kitchen to be alongside him which is where he taught me to bake and to cook,â
Moving back towards a table she had underneath the staircase, she pulled out a thick brown book and set it on the dining room table.
âHe left us some money when he passed away, and I used it to buy this building, fix it up, create a home as well as a business. I named it after his favorite song because he always told me that baked goods were especially good on rainy days,â Emilia opened up the book and showed him the handwritten recipes, âI couldnât even turn on an oven or a stovetop after he died, but he opened up my life to this huge opportunity and I couldnât let it go,â
James was quiet as he gently took in all that this book meant to Emilia, all of the memories that had to be within every single page because in a sense, this was a physical reminder of her father.
âThatâs so beautiful, are these all of his recipes?â
âNo,â Emilia shook her head, âThese are some, but there are three others over there too. He was diligent about writing his recipes down because he always said that he could be the next Barefoot Contessa,â
That earned a laugh from James who watched as Emilia put it away before turning to him with a smile.
âHe sounds⊠ unbelievable,â He told her as they met on his side of the table, âIâm sorry for your loss but it sounds like he left you with enough to keep him alive,â
Emilia agreed, pointing towards one of her which had to be recent with her arms wrapped around someone who was wearing glasses, both of them grinning towards the camera as his hands were holding onto her forearms.
âThatâs my brother, Blaine,â She explained, âHeâs three years older and he is the coolest guy youâll ever meet,â
They went through the photos, and she seemed so happy as she spoke of her family and a few friends she had photos with.
So carefree and pretty, James had to stop himself from grabbing her face and kissing her but he couldnât do it. He couldnât do that to himself and most importantly; he couldnât do it to her. It would be so easy to ruin things, and it would only be a matter of time for him to demolish this as well so he didnât.
Instead, they finished up the tour and Jamesâ clothing was sufficiently dry to sit on the couch with Emilia who was searching for something for them to watch, James amicable to anything she wanted.
They settled on Gilmore Girls after James had confessed to never having watched it which Emilia told him was sacrilegious of him.
Soon, the memory of Jamesâ bad day, bad week, and monotone life was just a distant memory as they spoke comfortably with one another; getting to know one another on a deeper level. James spoke of his life and his upbringing, though with less openness than Emilia who did the same at Jamesâ request.
She told him of her mother, her brother, her father, and her upbringing in northern California. In some ways it made James stomach clench in indescribable ways because his childhood couldnât have been more opposite.
Where she had love and affection, raising someone who welcomed people- even him- with open arms, ready for just about anything James had been raised to be quiet and shut off from people, closing himself off because that was how a man was. Though with her he didnât want that, he wanted to just be free with her but he had to hold himself back.
They decided to watch a movie instead of watching Gilmore Girls since they seemed keen on talking over it, settling on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Through the movie and their chats, they moved closed together until they were close enough for Emilia to rest her head on his arm after they had been quiet for a bit, sleep taking over her and leaving her to lean on James.
He was suddenly tremendously aware of how well she fit alongside him as he let her rest, careful not to make any sudden moves because he didnât want to wake her.
Forgoing the movie, he opted for leaning his head back and allowing himself to take in all of the feelings she brought out in him, feelings he had never allowed himself to with someone because of this or that.
Too busy with lacrosse practice, too busy with undergrad, then law school, then now it was too much with his work.
But in reality it was being too busy and too preoccupied with the fear of becoming attached to someone and the vulnerabilities that came with that.
The fear of maybe, just maybe having something wrong with him.
Something wrong enough to have his own father treat him like garbage, enough to have his motherâs apathy prevail, and wrong enough to be this unlovable man who just wasnât cut out for having an earth shattering love from someone perfect.
Someone like Emilia.
But for now he allowed himself to hope and simmer in what it would be like if he were just normal and not afraid of the brutality a relationship could bring out.
Years of subduing his emotions had taught him that, but sometimes emotions still won out as he felt his eyes burn with unshed tears as he looked towards the ceiling of Emiliaâs apartment because fuck he was tired of holding it all in.
Suddenly Emilia was moving and instead of waking up, she moved closer and towards his neck, prompting James to wrap his arm around her to keep her there.
His thoughts were silenced at the warm weight, minutes passed and they were unaccounted for on either of their ends.
Waking up an hour later, Emilia woke up to the strong presence of what she had grown to known as Jamesâ cologne before it all came flooding back to her and she just jumping out of his arms, her face blushing bright red.
âOh my- Iâm so sorry,â She said as she hid her face in her hands, âThatâs so embarrassing, Iâm sorry I just fell asleep on you like some creep on a subway.â
âStop it, youâre not some creep on a subway, Emilia,â James said as he moved his arm around a bit to regain some circulation.
Sighing, Emilia nodded though her blush was still prevalent on her face as she reached for the coffee table to check the time which made James realize he was more than likely overstepping his welcome by a large margin.
Finally saying their goodbyes, James was startled when Emilia wrapped her arms around him at the door where he wrapped his own arms around her before he made his way to his car.
His drive home was full of thoughts, his mind reeling with that entire day and what he had felt as he gripped his steering wheel with more force than was necessary
One thing was for certain, however.
He was completely enamored by Emilia, but that was a surprise because it was almost impossible to fathom someone who would be unable to fall for Emilia.
All that she was could be summarized by the word âwarmâ. She was all James could hope to have in his life, to any extent, but he knew his feelings were beyond those of a dear friend or a loyal customer.
Slamming the door shut behind him, he knew that he had never been one to believe in love at first sight, chalking it up to an old wiveâs tale or something thatâs one in a million yet here he was. Here he was feeling as though he were drowning in his vastly empty apartment.
The same apartment he had worked hard for, gone to years of prestigious schools and having nothing but the best at the cost of his self esteem and mental health.
He was taken out of his thoughts by a soft headbutt aimed at his shin by his truest confidant.
Alpine was demanding attention, allowing herself to be scooped up by James who led them into the kitchen which felt so much colder than it ever had, the only warmth in this apartment was Alpine.
âI think youâd like Emilia,â James told her as he took out her cat food, âHer apartment, too. Thereâs so much to like,â
Dumping Alpineâs food into her bowl, he set them both down as he thought about how in over his head he was, how much he wished things were different, but most of all he wished he had the ability to be normal and grant himself the possibility of obtaining a little hope with Emilia.
To just allow himself to feel without waiting for the subsequent blow that always came along.
Unbeknownst to him, Emilia was in her own apartment with her mind reeling with nothing but James.
How he had stepped into her bakery with a hundred yard stare she had only ever seen in herself after her father died and before the pain minimized.
But she had managed to crack a smile out of him, then another, and it all flowered so well together. He was intelligent, soft spoken, and it looked like he just needed someone to listen to him and perhaps and safe haven away from his very own life.
Though she wouldnât deny the way she was drawn to him, one moment of eye contact during their first encounter was enough to draw her in and leave her wanting more, subsequently leaving her disappointed when she didnât see him for a few days.
Love hadnât been a top priority for her, having taken her fatherâs words to heart when he told her true love had no timeline and that she was destined for a soulmate but it would come when they both needed it the most.
James seemed so sad, his mood always set as a bare simmer but she was always able to have him leave with an extra pep in his step.
It was easy with them, but it was obvious James held back from really telling her how he felt but sheâd let him open up to her when he felt it was right, let him come to her when he felt he really needed to get away from the negativity his life provided.
He was also tremendously handsome, God, his steel blue eyes paired with his dark mid length hair was enough to make any woman stutter. Combined with his broad shoulders, well worked body, and extended height⊠well that didnât hurt either.
Of course she wanted things to be simple, for both of them to be open with their emotions but sometimes it was more difficult for people to open up. From what he had confessed about his father, it was evident he didnât take his own emotions into consideration, setting them aside and ignoring them for the sake of his own sanity and to keep up appearances.
It would happen when it needed to happen, but regardless she refused to allow James to slip out of her lift and into his own loneliness again.
_________________________
This is the way things continued alongside the weather dropping.
James would visit, spend as much time as he wanted or could alongside Emilia who was always eager to have him there in her company.
The more he visited, the more he felt, the more he felt, the more afraid he became.
He had fallen for Emilia hard without the ability to find himself staying away for too long because he somehow felt himself worsen when he was away, and the bitter contentment with the fact that all they would ever be was friends was better than being away completely.
âWhatâre you doing for thanksgiving?â Emilia had asked one evening as they shared a slice of strawberry cheesecake, James shrugging and telling her that his parents were having a large dinner party but that he had made up an excuse to stay away from his family as much as he could.
Which is how he found himself standing outside of Emiliaâs home at 7:30 in the morning on Thanksgiving day after Emilia had given him puppy dog eyes and asked if he wanted to spend it with her.
âCome on, we have much to do,â Emilia told him as she took his hand and led him to the back kitchen where much to his surprise, there was already someone there.
Well two someones, actually.
The guy from her photos, her brother Blaine, was there with a toddler on his hip spinning in circles until he noticed their arrival.
âHi! Iâm Blaine,â He introduced brightly, making his way around the large center counter to shake his hand, âItâs so nice to meet you, James. Emilia speaks of you so muchâŠ. This is Maya,â
Still surprised, he shook Blaineâs hand mutely before regaining his foot and speaking to them, âItâs nice to meet you too,â He said as he looked around the kitchen where Emilia was shutting a box of something.
âWe have a lot of work to do, but instead Blaine is eating the rejected cookies.â Emilia explained as she lifted a pumpkin pie into another yellow box before shutting it and writing on the top.
Blaine grinned and set Maya down, grabbing the tupperware container from the counter behind him and offering them to James saying, âSome of them have oatmeal so itâs like eating breakfast oatmeal,â He reasoned, James smiled and took one without much hesitation.
âWe donât actually have work,â Emilia admitted with a smile towards James, âIâm closed today but I took orders so I have to hand them out when they arrive,â
Blaine studied James as he munched on his cookie before asking, âHow attached are you to the traditional Thanksgiving ideology?â
âIâm not too attached, itâs a bit odd, isnât it?â James answered after a bit of pondering, âBut why do you ask?â
Setting aside the boxed pie, Emilia shared a grin with Blaine that James thought looked suspiciously excited.
âWell we have a tradition where we pick an all day dessert or two and we just spend the day together baking,â She explained âBut we donât do turkey or anything, we always just for a nice drive, order Thai or Italian food for dinner then enjoy our desserts,â
That seemed like genuine fun to James, his face lighting up like a child as he nodded at the thought of spending the entire day with Emilia as well as her brother who seemed to be a really cool guy.
Suddenly it seemed as though Thanksgiving and major holidays werenât so rotten and so far from fun.
_________________
The entire day was filled with helping Emilia box up orders, getting to know Blaine, wielding Maya who was attached to his leg for a good portion of the time, and just having a good time.
He couldnât remember a holiday where he had laughed so much and enjoyed himself with those he was with. Holidays were something he dreaded and often felt a pit of anxiety because of, but here he was enjoying himself.
Their brunch had consisted of omelets thanks to Blaine who had accompanied it with bacon, James smiling as Emilia shared hers with Maya.
Both siblings had insisted James pick the dessert which had him opting for cinnamon rolls which had Blaine cheering after peeking over Jamesâ shoulder to see what he had chosen, Emilia rolling her eyes at her brother.
âYou can mix the sugar and butter,â Emilia told James as she slid over the ingredients to him, his eyes lighting up as he took the rubber spatula and poked the softened butter.
Blaine's eyes widened at that, narrowing them, âYouâre letting him help you? Last time I tried to help you, you grabbed my arm with a hot oven mit!â Blaine accused, but Emilia made an innocent face.
âYou were eating all of the frosting for the cookies,â She told her brother as she subconsciously helped James pack the brown sugar into the measuring cup, âPlus I had told you to watch the cookies but you let the first batch burn,ââ
Blaine huffed but smiled at Emilia and James despite himself, watching as she monitored the way he mixed together the ingredients as she rolled out the proved dough with a well floured rolling pin, Blaine the only one without a task.
Growing up Emilia had attempted to have Blaine learn to bake with her but he just didnât have the self control to avoid eating the frosting or the delicious dough before it was cooked so he opted to let Emilia manage the baking.
There was something between both Emilia and James, that much was obvious, but it seemed they were taking it slow.
âSo Blaine, can I ask what your family is up to today?â Blaine asked casually as he scrubbed the mixing bowl as his designated duty to clean up while they waited for the cinnamon rolls.
James paused his movements where he was wiping off the counter with a damp rag, attempting to figure out how to word things while Emilia watched him with worried eyes to see how he was going to take the question.
âTheyâre having a dinner party,â James told him, âBut uh- I donât really like spending too much time with them, you know? Itâs rocky.â
Thankfully, Blaine seemed to be just as understanding as Emilia.
âI hear you, man,â He told James as he held up his sponge, âFamilies are complicated for some people, Emilia and I got lucky but we were always raised to open our home and family to people so Iâm glad youâre here, James,â
Finding he was staring at Blaine, he finally snapped himself out of his trance and he nodded a few times as he swallowed hard.
âThanks, Blaine. That means a lot to me.â James confessed, Blaineâs nod was casual as he continued to wash the dishes but Emilia noticed how stunned he seemed by the confession which had her making her way over to him, resting her hand on his as she gave it a reassuring squeeze.
He squeezed her hand back, the remaining tension that he hadnât been able to feel dissipated disappeared from his body as he enjoyed the evening with the two siblings.
By the time they had eaten their fill of Thai food, cinnamon rolls, and watched all that they could one single day, James had to admit he had never had such a fun holiday. Perhaps the holidays when his grandparents were still alive were comparable, but even then he favored this thanksgiving above all others.
James thanked Emilia with a soft smile for the day after she had insisted on walking him out to his car with the smile that had been on her face all day was still unwavering.
âNo, thank you for coming,â Emilia told him as they stood on the sidewalk next to Jamesâ car, âIâm so glad you came, it was amazing having you here alongside Blaine.â
âI was really nervous seeing your brother, but you guys are just so welcoming and fun to be around.â James admitted.
The smile on Emiliaâs face somehow managed to grow, she felt herself unable to hold back as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jamesâ middle tightly.
He paused for a moment, taken aback by the sudden affection but he was soon wrapping his own arms around her just as tightly, resting his cheek atop hers as she rested her head along his shoulder with her face in his neck.
Unbeknownst to both of them, Blaine was peeking through the window to see whether or not they would kiss though the hug didnât disappoint him either. The entire day has been very telling regarding their feelings towards one another, but he hadnât been sure about where they were exactly.
Emilia let go first, James would have hugged her until the sunrise but he also let go, taking in the last of her warm perfume before smiling down at her.
âPlease get home safe, alright? Iâll be open tomorrow should you want to come around, alright?â
He nodded, his heart ready to burst as he told her heâd see her soon before making his way over to his car with Emiliaâs watchful eye on him. She waved as he drove away, watching until he drove away and out of sight.
Entering her apartment, Blaine wolf whistled from where he sat on the couch.
âA hug? You two are sure to get arrested for public indecency,â Blaine teased Emilia rolling her eyes at him as she kicked off her Birkenstocks and began heading over to her brother to divulge her feelings about James and how to go about them.
A couple of blocks away, James was sitting in his car stopped at a red light thinking about how absolutely screwed he was.
He was absolutely and irrevocably in love with Emilia and there were few things in his life that had even gotten a jolt out of him like this one. A jolt of realization, the sudden feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach and getting caught in your throat all at once alongside your blood going freezing cold.
The honk from the car behind him announced to him that the light had turned green, but even when he accelerated down Briggs Ave. he still found his thoughts and heart stuck back a couple of blocks away.
Few things in life were easy, and being around Emilia was one of the easiest things James had ever gone about yet it also seemed to be the most detrimental.
____________________
Hope is a finicky thing, and James was well aware of that.
He was more aware of that than anything else in his life because hope had given him seldom in life.
The brutality of the reality of things was something he was more than accustomed to with his parents and upbringing shielding him from poverty but not much else.
Thanksgiving weekend dripped away and before long they were in December where the weather had soon dropped into inhumanely cold temperatures where the only solace James ever found from the coldness of the weather and his thoughts were alongside Emilia.
The first week of December had been a simple enough one for James until he had gotten in a verbal altercation with his father regarding whether or not James was to take on an assigned case.
It was simple in his eyes, he wasnât going to defend a high school student facing real time in prison for smashing into a motherâs vehicle while street racing. However to Byron it was also simple: James did what he said, but he had never received such a headstrong from his son.
âYou have to take on whatever case is presented to you.â Byron had demanded in his office, James knowing that the entire office was listening in on this argument but he didnât care. He wasnât going to stand up for another kid identical to the ones he had gone to school with.
The ones with lack of empathy, remorse, or the ability to think selflessly because he had fought long and hard to never become one so he sure as hell wouldnât defend on.
His father had ground him down into nothing but he wouldnât go against the little belief he had in himself about being a kind person.
Though he had stood his ground, earning less than kind words from his father ending with the coined phrase, âI am so disappointed in you.â Which stung less and less every time he used it until now it was nothing but a dull ache that followed him.
âTrust me, I know.â James had told him before stepping out of his fatherâs office, the weight of the not-so-subtle stares from assistant, partners, and clients were less than comforting but the dull ache followed him for only a few steps.
Fridays meant leaving early, and by 2:30 James was escaping the office with a quick goodbye to the receptionist before he made his way over to perhaps eat his weight in cheesecake or danishes.
What he hadnât expected was for Emilia to be preoccupied with something, or someone namely.
It didnât bother James of course, she was a business owner and she chatted with everyone she needed to.
Spotting James, she continued the conversation about what seemed to be tips on baking chocolate chip cookies as she went over to the display to grab him a slice of blueberry cheesecake before preparing his coffee without having to be asked.
Taking his seat at his usual spot along the counter, he thanked her with a smile he knew didnât completely reach his eyes, a concerned look growing on her face but she turned back to the other man.
He didnât listen in much in favor of drinking his piping hot coffee with his cake after Emilia had set it down for him.
God, he wished this guy would leave so the place could be empty. He needed it to be empty so he could tell her about his day and the reason behind why he looked as though he had just gotten his ass handed to him.
But wasnât that so selfish? Selfish to want to vent to her again, tell her about his stupid life again when he had it pretty good. Sure his father was an asshole and his emotions were everywhere but that wasnât her problem to solve, was it?
Why did he feel the need to run to her when they were nothing more than friends? Were they even friends or was he just breaking the customer-seller boundary again and again without Emilia finding it within herself to tell him that she really didnât care.
What made it even more sad was the way his heart would do something like a kickflip whenever sheâd glance at him from where she was still speaking to the guy who had been there the entire time.
Fumbling out of his thoughts, he listened in at the moment he later assumed fate needed him to listen in on.
âSo, see you Saturday evening?â The man asked, Jamesâ heart stuttering in a less than comforting way as he blanched.
Was it a date?
âYeah, see you then, Nate.â Emilia confirmed with one of her grand smiles James had foolishly thought she had only ever reserved for him after weeks and weeks of⊠this.
Of James coming in and dumping his emotions on her, both of them going back and forth but it must be so exhausting for her to have him go in again and again, knowing he was lonely.
Closing his eyes, he swallowed hard at the realization as he fumbled to stand and grab his briefcase as he remembered he needed to pay for everything.
Blindly grabbing his wallet, he pulled out a random denomination of bills hoping it was enough to cover the tab without speaking a word.
Heading to the door, he nearly bumped into the man who had made plans with Emilia, almost as though fate wanted to rub it into his face that he had made a date with Emilia before James could do anything but pine from the sidelines.
âJames?â Emilia asked worriedly from her side of the counter before he could exit, âWhere are you going? Are you okay?â
âYeah. I just have to go, sorry for always barging in here on you but have fun on Saturday.â He told her with a falsely bright voice, heading out towards his car leaving Emilia utterly confused.
Picking up his dishes she saw he had eaten less than half of his cake though his coffee was all but gone from the mug leaving her worried about what the hell was going on.
Why had he apologized?
___________________
As the younger sibling, Emilia had one talent and it was being profoundly stubborn.
The gnawing worry she felt for James had done anything but subsided after his quick exit, prompting her to call him again and again until he answered her fifth call and third text by the time she had flipped her sign from âOpenâ to âClosedâ at 7pm.
It hadnât been easy to have him agree to go back, though with the promise of a listening ear as she decorated 140 cupcakes for an elementary school aged party for the following morning.
âSo what was your grand escape about?â Emilia asked when Jamesâ hands were busy mixing pastel yellow frosting for her, knowing it was easier to open up when you werenât directly focused in on opening up.
There was silence in the kitchen aside from the music Emilia seemed to always have playing when she baked.
She didnât push, allowing him to go at his own pace after manhandling him and convincing him to go.
âI came to the realization that I come around here a lot and constantly dump things on you about my day. It must be so exhausting for you because you have so many other things to do.â James told her as he added another drop of food gel as he attempted to get the pastel yellow Emilia was going for.
Finishing her blue swirl, she set down her piping bag and looked at him, âYou do realize that I do the same to you, right? Weâre meant to help one another but I can assure you that you do not bug me. Not today, yesterday, or next October.â Emilia told him seriously.
There was no response, causing Emilia to put down the piping bag she had just picked up.
âDo I bug you, James? When I tell you about my day, my family, or even about how I slept?â Emilia asked him, earning a wide eyed look from James who shook his head as he set down his spatula.
âOf course not, I want to hear what you have to say.â
âThatâs how I feel about you,â Emilia told him, âI know you werenât raised to be very open with your emotions or thoughts so when you are you feel like a burden or as though you did something wrong, but you didnât. Not with me.â
Continuing on to the next white bowl of frosting, he seemed to be lost in thoughts as he began mixing in a few drops of blue food gel before he was able to verbalize.
âHow are you able to be so⊠open and just good with your feelings?â He asked, and maybe somewhere deep within him there was a small ray of hope where things would just click and there wouldnât be such a gap between his emotions and his words.
Not looking away from where she was decorating her cupcakes, she told him her sincerest answer, âI just grew up in a home where it was safe and encouraged to be open about how youâre feeling. My dad was really big on that because his dad was really cruel with him when he was growing up so he never wanted to have his kids grow up in that kind of home where it was bad to feel and where they grew up afraid.â
âBut,â Emilia continued softly, âSomething bothered you today, something must have triggered these adverse thoughts in your ever intelligent mind.â
Satisfied with the green shade he pushed away the bowl before running his hand down his face.
âIt was- itâs so stupid but I saw that guy today and I just wanted him to leave so I could talk to you and have you to myself? I donât- itâs so selfish to want that, I know, but then I thought he was locking in a date which isnât my business because youâre allowed to date whoever you want because weâre not- you know?â He stuttered out a mile a minute, âJesus Iâm fumbling here, can you- I should go.â
James made an attempt to flee after Emilia allowed him to stutter through his emotions, but he didnât get far because Emilia was grabbing onto his arm and dragging him back to his spot, gently but firmly.
âNo, no, no, no, no, this is good, this is called discourse and vulnerability, James,â Emilia told him as she moved him back to where he had been standing, âItâs just me, youâre always allowed to feel however it is youâre feeling around me.â
He nodded, settling down as Emilia made her way to her own spot.
âSorry. Itâs just difficult because Iâve never been able to be open with someone? You know that, though.â James said as he repeated it for the millionth time, but Emilia just smiled.
âYeah, well theyâll never know you the way that I do.â She said so simply James felt his chest crack wide open in that kitchen, the affection he felt for her was uncanny to anything else in his life. He had fallen deeply, and it was as pleasant as it was painful.
________________________
It didnât take long for Emilia to finish up the order, closing it up and setting it in the fridge when she came back with unfrosted cupcakes and a brilliant idea.
She had insisted on teaching James to frost a cupcake after he had expressed some interest in it as he watched her do it so easily and with such simplicity for over a hundred cupcakes, not one wonky or out of order.
So she stood close to him, placing her hands above his as she guided the correct pressure and movements she had perfected after years and years of baking, Jamesâ movements clunky and unperfected underneath her hands.
James had moved so her back was pressed against his front, his focus on her warmth and the way her hands were so, so soft and so gentle with his own, making his heart want to hammer straight out of his chest onto the counter.
âYouâre doing great.â Emilia complimented as she subtly loosened her hold on his hands, allowing him to guide it until he did his own slightly wonky swirl.
She moved aside, standing next to him as he continued on from a chocolate cupcake to a vanilla cupcake with the yellow frosting peeking out of the tip, his eagerness obvious.
Suddenly he felt hyper aware of how close she was to him and he just couldnât stop himself anymore, he really couldnât.
All at once he moved forward with his instinct without a secondary thought of doubt plaguing him, turning to the right where Emilia was standing, cupping her face with his right hand and leaning down in swift movements before he kissed her soundly.
Emiliaâs lips were soft and warm against his own he knew were closer to chapped than not, the sensation he felt was nothing he could have prepared for in the instances he had restrained himself from doing this beforehand.
To James it was like the friendly deja vu he was privy to experiencing at times, as though they had years and years of practice doing this together. He felt Emilia really respond, pushing a little deeper where he was able to taste the remains of the unsold blueberry muffin Emilia had been munching on earlier during his arrival.
However much both parties enjoyed this, breathing was still a requirement which had them pulling away, James peeling open his eyes to see Emilia grinning widely at him, her eyes alive with affection he had been certain of concocting in his own mind.
Before he could speak a word or utter an apology, Emilia was cupping his face within her own hands and raising herself onto her toes where she kissed James again and again chastely, pulling away with an overexaggerated âMwah!â
âWas this your plan all along?â She asked with a teasing smile, âGet me to show you my frosting technique, kiss me, and run away with this and my other secrets?â
James threw his head back and laughed, the laugh bubbling out of his chest as Emilia laughed alongside him. In the future, the sheer simplicity of it all is what stuck out in Jamesâ head the most.
__________________
The way Emiliaâs face lit up when she saw James appear the next day, a Thursday, made just about everything in his day worthwhile because that sent a jolt through him. It was after six thirty, his plans of lunch with Emilia had been thwarted by piles of paperwork, settling for a Clif bar and a water bottle.
His mood was negative, something he could feel following him like a cloud in one of those antidepressant commercials that came on tv, his father making his life a living hell because of his lack of appearance at thanksgiving. It had been over a week since thanksgiving but it was still fresh in his fatherâs mind.
Rude comments, damning his work, and just making him feel about as worthless as a human being could and he was so exhausted.
âAhoy there,â Emilia greeted from behind her counter, walking towards James who was walking around it and practically throwing himself into her arms.
He greeted her back in a tired voice, Emilia wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly as she allowed him to find comfort within her arms with his own wrapped around her middle so tightly she thought he might want to mold himself into her body.
âWhat happened? You look like you just got told your car is getting repoed,â Emilia asked, James pulling away with a shrug, âNothing,â
âJames,â Emilia said, not buying his lackluster answer, finally getting out of James what he had been harboring in his mind all day without anyone but Emilia to tell.
âMy dad is an asshole who gets a sadistic high out of making me feel like shit, is all,â James said in a light tone Emilia knew was meant to be joking but the way his voice cracked at the last word had her making her way over to the front door, locking it securely before turning over the sign to announce she was closed.
âCâmon mister,â She told him as was back in front of him, grabbing his hand, âYou can help me prepare some stuff for tomorrow because God knows the holidays make people love their baked goods and today was a riot in here.â
Suddenly he felt out of place and as though again, he hadnât considered that she might be busy running an entire business where she was the sole baker.
âOh shit. Iâm sorry. Do you want me to go so you can work?â James asked as he stopped at the door of the back kitchen, prompting Emilia to tug him in with a shake of her head.
âNo. I want you here, silly,â
âBut you have so much-â He was cut off by Emilia grabbing his face and kissing him soundly, it was chaste but it got the job done because afterwards James was left short circuiting for a few moments.
âJames, would you do me the favor of keeping me company while I do some work here? Iâd love to have you here with me,â
With a smile, he shrugged and followed her back to the kitchen where she began to do her work.
Hello would you mind doing an angsty oneshot where Bucky feels like you're falling out of love with him and pulling away from his affection and love? (The rest is up to you đ)
Once and Always
Pairing: Bucky x readerÂ
Word Count: 1,757
Summary: Youâve been very busy and havenât had a lot of time to spend with Bucky. Not even enough to notice that itâs hurting him. (Dontâ worry it ends happy!)
Authorâs Note: Thanks for this request love and thank you very much for your patience. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you all for reading! â€â€â€
Warnings: Angst, sad Bucky, but followed by fluffyness and happy Bucky :)Â
Bucky watched as you threw your head back in laughter, your whole face lighting up with the emotion and he couldnât help but smile. It felt like he had been doing that a lot less recently. He missed you. It seemed that every time he tried to make plans you were busy. After almost a year of dating Bucky still felt like he did the first day he laid eyes on you, heart aflutter and happier than he had ever been. He was starting to wonder if you still felt the same for him.
After a few more giggles with the girls they all went their separate ways and you walked toward Bucky, wrapping your arms around his waist, âhey baby, whatcha doing?â Kissing the top of your head and pulling you in closer heâs quiet for a minute before responding, ânothing, just thinking about how much I love you.â You pull away just enough to look up into his stormy blue eyes, âI love you too, Buck, so much.â
His heart feels lighter at your words and he says, âletâs go to dinner later, we can try out that new restaurant youâve been wanting to go to!â Squeezing him tighter and burying your face in his shirt you mumble, âI canât baby, I promised Nat and Wanda some girl time tonight, Iâm sorry.â
Buckyâs glad your face is hidden in his chest, heâs sure his own is reflecting the hurt he feels. Taking a deep breath, he replies, âno problem, doll, we can try for another night.â He doesnât let you go, holding you like itâs for the last time, âyou smell so good.â His comment takes you by surprise, âthanks babe, I always smell the same, unless I havenât showered,â you joke, crinkling your nose.
He laughs but the smile doesnât reach his eyes and his broad shoulders seem to slump under an invisible weight. You open your mouth to question him but your phone rings. You frown as he pulls away, grabbing your phone from the counter and handing it to you, âitâs Nat.â âThanks,â you say quietly, watching him move around the counter to grab a glass.
Nat talks excitedly on the other line, telling you all the things she bought at the store for your girlâs night. Her excitement is infectious and before you know it, youâre jabbering animatedly along with her, all thoughts of Buckyâs sad eyes leaving your mind.
After saying goodbye to Nat, you turn back toward the kitchen to tell Bucky about your plans. Except, he is no where to be found. Youâre frowning again. You walk to your shared room and call out for him. No answer. You notice there is a note on the coffee table, and you reach down to read it, âI went for a run, doll. If Iâm not back before you go, have fun tonight. Love you.â
With your brows furrowed and shoulders sagging you walk to the bathroom to shower and change before heading over to Natâs room. You let the hot water wash away your current worries, determined to have a good time tonight.
You arrive to Natâs a few minutes early, helping her set up the snacks and drinks. âHey Nat, have you noticed Bucky being a bit mopey lately?â you ask, trying to keep your tone light. She stares at you for a moment before looking down and busying herself with the cheese plate. âNat.â You know she has something to say and you want her to say it.
âWell, Steve may have mentioned the same thing to me the other day.â Her confession makes your stomach turn, âhe did?â you ask, your voice coming out small and broken. She moves closer to you, throwing her arm over your shoulder, âhe just asked me if everything was ok and if anything had happened between you two because Bucky seemed a bit down and he hasnât seen you guys together as much.â
You took a deep breath, thinking over the last couple of weeks. Breaking you out of your thoughts, Nat asks, âwhen was the last time you two went on a date or spent some good one on one time together?â You donât meet her eyes, a shudder running through you as you admit, âhis birthday, almost 2 weeks ago.â
The tears start to form before you can get out the next sentence and Nat has you wrapped in her arms. âHey, itâs ok y/n. Itâs ok, youâve been busy, between working with Tony and all that the team has going on itâs been a lot.â You sniffle, looking up at her with watery eyes, âI know, but itâs no excuse, I should have made time for him, heâs everything to me. I canât believe I didnât see how sad he was until now.â
Nat hands you a tissue, wiping away a stray tear, âso then fix it.â You hug her tight, squaring your shoulders, âok, maybe you and Wanda can help me think of something special to do for him.â She smiles, grabbing the drinks and pulling you toward the couch, âwe definitely can!â
Wanda arrives a few minutes later and you fill her in, more tears staining your cheeks, but youâre determined to make Bucky realize that you love him more than anything. Over the next few hours, you eat lots of sweets, have a few yummy drinks and devise a plan to show Bucky just how much you love him.
As you walk back to your room later that night you feel a bit lighter and not because of the three drinks you had, but because you have a solid plan in place and you canât wait to set it into motion. Youâre going to need a little help from Steve, so you text him to see if heâs up. When he quickly responds you head over to his room and fill him in. Pulling you into a hug he mumbles into your hair, âheâs going to love it.â
Crawling into bed you notice Bucky is facing the other way, his wide shoulders curled into his knees and he almost looks small. You lean your chest against his back, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and grabbing hold of his hand. He squeezes your fingers but makes no other indication that he is awake. You litter kisses all along his back, his muscles shifting under the softness of your lips. âI love you,â you whisper against his skin before falling into a dreamless sleep.
The next morning you awake to a cold and empty bed, Buckyâs side a tangled mess. Another small note sits atop his pillow, scribbled in Buckyâs handwriting, âout for a run, donât wait for me for breakfast, Steve said he wants to grab a bite, love you.â You smile, knowing Steve has his part of the plan under control. Flinging the covers off you walk into the bathroom with a newfound purpose, ready to get Buckyâs surprise started.
The scavenger hunt you send Bucky on has him traveling all over the neighborhood. Each new clue found in a spot special to you both, the place of your first date, the location of your first kiss, even the tree in the park where he told you he loved you for the first time. You made sure each of your clues was detailed in ways only Bucky could know, words meant only for him.
When he finally arrived at your last clue, he was standing in front of the very restaurant he had wanted to take you to last night. With a genuine smile on his face he walked in and looked around, his eyes landing on you seated at a nearby table. You shot up from your chair and ran into his arms, burying your face in his chest, your quiet sobs wetting his shirt.
âBaby girl, itâs ok, donât cry, look at me.â Bucky places his finger under your chin, gently lifting it so you can look into his eyes. âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry!â you cry, clutching the front of his shirt in a tight grip. âI got so caught up in my own crap and I didnât make time for us and it was wrong and I need you to know that youâre my everything and I love you more than anything Bucky!â
His large thumb swipes over your cheek to dry your tears. âI love you; I love you, itâs ok, I forgive you, donât cry.â He repeats the words âI love youâ against your lips, cradling your face in his hands as you continue to hold his shirt in a death grip.
You donât know how long youâre standing in the middle of the restaurant, holding each other and whispering. Buckyâs lips silence your constant apology, the kiss quickly becoming desperate as all your emotions are poured into it.
The loud clearing of a throat startles you both as you pull away to find the manager smiling but giving you the âtake it outsideâ look. You and Bucky let out a giggle and spew out several apologies as you walk out the door. Bucky grabs your hand, pulling you into his side and holding you close. âI know just the place to go, doll, come on.â
Bucky leads you toward your favorite park, âthis way we have more privacy in our spot,â he says, smiling down at you. You reach the grassy area under the large oak tree that is tucked away at the other end of the park. Bucky sits and pulls you into his lap, ânow where were we,â he hums before brushing his lips to yours.
âBucky, wait.â You look at him, eyes pleading, âI love you and I want you to talk to me if youâre ever feeling like my head is up my ass, please.â He holds your gaze, staring into your eyes, âI know, I really do and thank you for doing all this for me, it was really special and made me happy and I promise to talk next time. I love you.â
The kiss starts out soft, Buckyâs warm lips moving languidly against yours as you straddle his lap. Large calloused fingers run along the soft skin under your shirt, your soft moans swallowed by his mouth. He feels every inch of you he can in the public space, gently sucking your bottom lip between his teeth before coming up for a breather. âI could spend forever right here with you,â he murmurs against your kiss swollen lips.
Summary: Usually your boyfriend struggles with insecurity and believing why you would choose to stay with him; however, after a talking to from you in which you explain exactly how special and loved he is, he transforms into your sexy super soldier to ward off potential suitors and claim you for his own.
After checking your makeup one last time, you placed the tiny mirror you had been using back into your clutch as the elevator dinged, signaling your arrival onto the top floor of the Avengers tower for the latest soiree that Tony Stark had arranged. Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself for the next few hours of tedious conversations and lingering stares from random individuals who respected your work as an Avenger enough to come and support the team, but who were still too terrified to actually approach you and strike up a conversation.
It was one of the two main reactions you would usually garner at these types of events: reserved and fearful attention from afar or overly confident assholes who would approach you with the express goal of hooking up with an Avenger to then go brag to their friends about. Either way, these events and the people you had to endure were exhausting. Considering a majority of your time was spent in life or death situations, on your time off, you would really rather just curl up in bed with your beloved boyfriend, laughing at the latest ridiculous reality show and soaking in the sweetness of such peaceful and rare moments.
Speaking of said boyfriend, you craned your head around the crowded rooftop, searching out the super soldier. Your eyes wandered first to the lone corners, suspecting him to be hiding himself away as far from people as possible. If there was anyone who hated these events more than yourself, it was definitely Bucky Barnes. Although the public had come around to the Winter Soldier and his involvement with the Avengers, there was still a certain level of fear and caution that was exercised by most who came in contact with him.
âHeâs hanging around the bar with Steve and Sam,â you heard a sudden voice murmur from behind you.
Turning, your eyes focused on none other than the Black Widow herself, dressed to perfection in a stunning blood red dress and sipping on a glass of champagne.
âThanks, Tasha,â you grinned, receiving a nod in acknowledgement, before she sashayed over to where a larger crowd had congregated together, looking like a shark about to sink its teeth into its prey. Out of all the team, Natasha was probably the one who enjoyed these parties the most, reveling in every opportunity to terrorize the male population and the seedy individuals who often frequented these events.
Shaking your head with a fond smile on your face, you turned in the direction of the bar, preparing to join your boyfriend with the hopes of easing each otherâs suffering until you could finally call it a night.
As you drew closer, you finally noticed the gorgeous form of your boyfriend, dressed up in a sexy navy-blue suit paired with a white dress shirt with the top buttons undone, revealing a portion of his toned chest.
Licking your lips, you sidled up next to him, placing a hand on his bicep and placing a sweet peck to his cheek. âHi there, handsome,â you murmured sweetly before pulling away to gaze up at him.
A beautiful smile lit up his face as he beheld you, an expression that only seemed to arise when you were near. Allowing his eyes to wander up and down your form, he let out a low, slow whistle. âYou look incredible, doll,â he complimented, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he remembered that you were his girl and that you were here with him and that more importantly, you would be going home with him at the end of the night. âMost beautiful girl in attendance.â
âOh, stop,â you chuckled, swatting at his chest playfully and rolling your eyes at the adorable man who never failed to make you swoon. For a man who had undergone intense mind-control for the better part of a century and claimed he had retained no ability to flirt, he sure could turn you into a puddle of goo with just a look and a few words.
âWhy, itâs nice to see you too, Y/N,â a sudden voice to your right interrupted. âIâm doing fine, thank you for asking. And Iâm looking mighty fine tonight also, not that you noticed or anything.â
Sam sniffed in mock offense, turning his nose up and looking slightly away from you and Bucky. However, despite his peeved stance, he couldnât hide the mirth dancing in his eyes.
âOf course, how rude of me!â You exclaimed in faux horror. âWhy, you look absolutely dashing, my dear Samuel,â you jested with the best English accent that you could possibly muster. âAnd you, as well, darling Steven,â you continued to the highly amused Captain standing beside Sam.
âAlright, thatâs enough,â Bucky cut in, drawing your attention back to him. âNo more calling other men dashing or darling.â
âAwe, is the wittle Winter Soldier jeawous?â Sam mocked, imitating a baby voice and drawing a scowl out of Bucky.
âOf course not,â you cut in before your boyfriend could respond. âBecause he knows that I only have eyes for him, right baby?â You questioned, wrapping your arms around his torso and blinking sweetly up at him.
A slow smile spread across his face as he gazed down at you, taking in your loving expression and giving you a look full of adoration in return. âAbsolutely, sweetheart,â he murmured, leaning down to press a sweet kiss to your eager lips.
A gagging sound suddenly interrupted your sweet moment. Turning your head to the side with a raised eyebrow, an obviously disgusted Sam came into view, pretending to choke back vomit. âSave it for the bedroom, you two. No one wants to see that.â
âSam!â You exclaimed in shock.
âWhat?â He questioned innocently. âNo one wants to see that shit. Especially not me. Cap here agrees with me. Right, Cap?â
âOh, no. Donât drag me into your little drama here,â Steve stated, raising his arms up as if in surrender. âI know better than to get in the middle of your bickering.â
âWe werenât bickering,â you corrected. âWe were just having a lively conversation, right Sam?â
Sam nodded over-dramatically, killing the illusion of innocence you were trying to create. âAbsolutely, Y/N, just a fun back and forth between friends.â
Steve rolled his eyes. âRight. Iâm going to go greet some of the other guests. Donât get up to too much trouble now, kids.â
âYes, dad,â the three of you chorused sarcastically together.
Rolling his eyes one final time, Steve set his drink down on the bar counter and walked away from your little group.
âWell, this was fun,â Sam announced. âBut itâs about time I go and search out some female companionship of my own, if you catch my drift,â Sam winked.
Shaking your head at the oversized child in front of you, you waved him away. âYes, yes, we know what you mean. Just get out of here.â
Throwing one last mischievous grin your way, Sam sauntered off, finally leaving you and Bucky alone.
Turning around in Buckyâs arms, you placed your chin on his chest as he smiled down at you, his grip on your hips tightening. âFinally,â you smiled. âI thought theyâd never leave.â
Bucky smirked at you. âCareful there, doll. Youâre gonna get me into trouble saying stuff like that and looking the way you do.â
âMaybe I like trouble,â you purred coyly, running your hands up and down his muscular chest.
Bucky sucked in a breath, but couldnât hide the grin he was sporting.
âYouâre the definition of trouble, sweetheart,â Bucky teased affectionately, pinching your side teasingly.
âBut you love me anyway,â you sing-songed, a twinkle in your eye as you gazed up at your adoring boyfriend.
âThat I do, doll, that I do,â he replied softly before pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.
***
About an hour later, the party was in full swing with most of the guests having arrived and already finished a couple rounds of drinks. You and Bucky had split up not too long ago with him going over to talk with Steve and Sam and you spending time catching up with the girls, yet that didnât stop the two of you from sending flirty little looks to each other every few seconds, something that definitely didnât go unnoticed by Natasha.
âYou two are disgusting,â Natasha grimaced after watching Bucky bite his lip and send you a particularly suggestive look, which consequently sent you into a fit of excited giggles.
Pulling your attention away from your super-hot and distracting boyfriend, you glanced at your friend, red creeping into your cheeks as you realized you and Bucky hadnât been very discreet with your flirtations.
âWhat?â You questioned innocently. âHeâs just too damn attractive, Natasha. I canât be held responsible for how I react to that manâs adorable, yet sexy looks.â
Natasha rolled her eyes, used to your fawning over Bucky.
âI happen to think you two are adorable,â Wanda cut in, smiling at you. âYou both deserve to be happy, especially after all that youâve both been through.â
A softer smile appeared on your face as you thought about Bucky and your relationship. When you had first joined the team and met the infamous Winter Soldier, he was like a ghost. Bucky was just a shell of a man. He was simply existing, going through the motions. He wasnât really living, only allowing himself to be consumed by guilt and self-deprecation. Even once you two had become closer and eventually started dating, Bucky always seemed to hold the attitude that he didnât deserve anything good in life. He was hesitant around you, waiting for the world to snatch you away like every other good thing in his life. It had taken you so long to drill it into his stubborn skull that he deserved love, possibly more than anyone else, and that you were not going anywhere. Nothing and no-one could take you away from him. And although Bucky had made tons of progress and you were so unbelievably proud of him, you could still see that he struggled with insecurity and self-doubt, mainly when it came to your relationship. It was a bummer and definitely something that the two of you still needed to work on together because although your relationship was so strong in other areas, when it came to that basic trust and confidence in the other persons affection, there was a lack.
It was hard, but it was something that you and Bucky were working on together and you knew the fight would be so worth it. He was worth it. It was only getting him to believe that.
âIâm definitely very lucky,â you finally responded back to Wanda, eyes trained on your boyfriend as he gazed back at you, a look of adoration plastered across his face.
However, that look was short-lived as a young man approached you, pearly white teeth flashing and a charming pick-up line already on the tip of his tongue.
Unfortunately for this guy though, there was only one man that you had eyes for. You quickly, yet politely shooed the man away and eagerly turned your attention back to your boyfriend, hoping that he would give you some sort of signal that he was ready to duck out of this party and return to your shared room for a bit of fun of your own. However, when your gaze turned back to Bucky, his head was down and fists clenched, an unreadable expression marking his face.
Frowning, you searched the area, looking for any indication of what possibly could have upset your boyfriend in the span of a few moments. Finding nothing, you quickly excused yourself from the girls and made your way over to him, hoping to talk and figure out what was wrong.
Carefully, you reached out a hand and grasped his elbow, leaning into him, hoping to offer some comfort. âHey,â you murmured softly. âYou ok?â
Bucky looked down at you, eyes searching yours for answers you didnât yet know, but desperately wanted to give him. Anything to get that sad expression off his beautiful face.
âDamn, Agent Y/N, youâre a magnet for these young bachelors tonight! We were just telling Bucky that he better watch out. That was, what? The fourth or fifth guy to approach you tonight?â
Suddenly it all clicked. Bucky was insecure. He had seen several men approach you tonight and surely whatever idiotic comments Sam had been making hadnât helped. But he must have seen how quickly you brushed them off, right? He had to know that you had eyes for him and him alone.
Steve, sensing the seriousness of this moment, grabbed onto Samâs arm to drag him away and give the two of you some privacy. âCome on, Sam, letâs give these two some peace and quiet.â
You watched as the two soldiers stepped out of hearing range before turning your eyes back toward your boyfriend, frowning at the sad, uncomfortable look on his face.
âIs that what has you upset?â You questioned, wanting confirmation from him before continuing. âWere you upset that those guys approached me tonight? If so, you have to know that I didnât pay them any mind, Bucky. Iâm your girl and your mine. Thatâs it. I would never even dream of looking at another man.â
âNo, I know,â Bucky interjected quickly, not wanting you to doubt his faith in you for even a second. âI know you would never do anything like that, Y/N. Believe me, I know.â
âThen what is it?â You questioned, bringing your hand up to his face to caress his cheek.
Bucky leaned into your touch, closing his eyes briefly before opening them once again to meet your concerned gaze.
âI just worry sometimes that youâll see one of these young, good-looking guys and see how much easier it would be with them,â he admitted. âThey donât have a ton of baggage like I do. You could have a much more normal life if you chose one of them,â he swallowed, breaking his gaze and looking out across the room as he continued speaking. âYou wouldnât have to deal with me waking up screaming every other night. You wouldnât be held back at social events to babysit me and make sure I donât have a breakdown because of the anxiety. You wouldnât have to deal with the judgmental stares when you go out in public together.â
Bucky released a slow breath before returning his gaze back to yours. âAnd thereâs so many other reasons,â he sighed. âAnd Iâm so scared that one day youâre going to realize that the hassle isnât worth it anymore. That Iâm not worth it,â he shuddered. âAnd I couldnât even blame you if you decided that. You would have absolutely every right to - â
âOk, that is enough,â you cut him off, voice stern and eyes blazing as you looked your beloved, yet incredibly stupidboyfriend in the eye. âYou are not a hassle or a burden or unworthy, or any other ridiculous thing you have convinced yourself that you are. You are nothing but worthy and selfless and brave and kind and wonderful. And I am so, so, sounbelievably lucky to love you and to be loved by you. You have no idea how happy and complete you make me. You seem to think that you were this mess before we met and my life was perfect, but Iâll tell you something Bucky, it wasnât. My life was empty and it was hollow and it was purposeless. Until I met you. And you completely turned everything around. Suddenly, my life was full of light and love and beauty. And Bucky, baby, that is all because of you,â you cried, pouring your every emotion into your words, hoping that that would convince him of how entirely you meant your words.
You brought your other hand up to his face, so you were now cradling it in both of your hands. Your thumb gently swiped his cheek, clearing away the tears that had fallen at your words.
âMy life is infinitely better with you in it,â you stated firmly. âAnd donât you dare doubt that for even a second. No one could ever compare to you. I canât even look at another guy, even if I wanted to, because my heart and head and everything that I am is so consumed by you. Always. Ok?â
Bucky sniffed, tears still pooling in his eyes as he struggled to form words after your little speech. Finally, after realizing that he wasnât going to be able to form an adequate response to your declaration, he simply nodded. âOk,â he smiled. âOk.â
âOk,â you responded, a small smile appearing on your face. âGood. Now that thatâs settled, shall we get out of here?â
Bucky let out a booming laugh, pulling you into his arms and pressing a kiss to your neck. âYeah, doll, letâs get out of here.â
Grinning, you pulled away; however, before you could say anything more, a young man, wearing what looked like an incredibly expensive suit walked up and tapped you on the shoulder.
âHey, beautiful,â he smiled. âWould you care to dance?â
You stared at the man in disbelief, unable to comprehend the boldness of this guy. Clearly, you were here and already taken with somebody. What on earth made him think that this would be an acceptable thing to do? And especially after you had just reassured Bucky. You were afraid that your little speech hadnât really had time to take and that this incident would send Bucky back into that pit of self-doubt.
However, you were pleasantly surprised when Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist possessively, pulling you closer to his body before placing a lingering kiss to your cheek, dangerously close to your mouth.
âSorry, pal,â Bucky drawled. âSheâs got everything she needs right here. Now, get lost,â Bucky commanded before bringing one of his hands behind your head and guiding your mouth to his in a passionate kiss, mouth immediately opening and tongues meeting in a fight for dominance. After a few moments, Bucky pulled away, leaving you breathless.
âWow,â you finally stated after gaining your composure. âGlad to see my little pep-talk worked.â
Bucky blushed, a bashful smile appearing on his face, a direct contrast to the sexy, suave super soldier who had just grabbed you and claimed his territory in front of every man in attendance at this party.
âDonât worry,â you murmured, wrapping your arms around Buckyâs waist and gazing up at him. âI found that little display of yours incredibly sexy.â
Buckyâs eyes darkened as he returned your lustful gaze. âI think itâs about time I took you up on that proposition from earlier, doll. Letâs get out of here.â He grinned suggestively.
Face lighting up in excitement, you grabbed his hand and followed him out of the huge room, ready for a night of love and passion in order to remind each other that you were his and he was yours and nothing and no-one could come between you two.
maybe headcanons of bucky dating an artist?? like, maybe they want to sketch him and stuff but bucky is always feeling self conscious (bc of his arm and scars, etc) and so his s/o takes it upon themselves to show bucky how beautiful really he is, not just on the outside and idk fluff akshsjfkai iâm sorry if this is weird
I used to be an artist, so I was real pumped when I got this._______
Bucky has known how talented Y/N was since he first saw her doodling on a napkin in a coffee shop
She was modest and embarrassingly tried to hide it when Bucky introduced himself
He asked if he could keep it, but then added that he wanted her number on it too⊠in case he needed to commission an original piece from her
Bucky didnât know where the sudden charming and outgoingness had come from
He hadnât felt like his old self since before WWII
But that was Y/N, always bringing out the parts of him Bucky thought heâd lost forever
He asks her to go to an art museum for the first date
Y/N knows itâs clearly not really his thing, but appreciates the effort he made
âAre you having any fun?â She asks him as he squints at a pop-art piece that he clearly doesnât get
Bucky jumps slightly at her question but gives her a beaming smile
"Of course. Youâre here.â
Y/N canât help but roll her eyes at his suave charm
âYou donât enjoy art?â She challenged
Bucky blushed. It was nice to see a genuine reaction, instead of practiced charisma
âArt was always my best friendâs thing. Heâs tried to teach me. But I think Iâm a lost cause.â
âMaybe you just havenât found the right teacher.â Y/N smirks, making him blush again. âCome on. Weâve had enough art. Letâs go to a bar. I know a place nearby.â
Y/N doesnât think sheâs ever met a man that was so easy to talk to.
When she got past the charm, Bucky was a shy but genuine man. She could tell he had a kind heart and even kinder eyes
It didnât take long for them to make their relationship official
Y/N was obsessed with sketching and painting Bucky
She kept her pieces a secret from him at first, but he snuck up on her one time when she was adding her finishing touches to the latest drawing she made when he was taking a nap the other day
Bucky acts as if he doesnât like being her muse, but heâs actually so flattered and feels so loved
Y/N started to notice how quickly Bucky hides his metal arm and scarring after they have sex or whenever he gets out of the shower
She knows heâs self-conscious about it
âHey, Bucky?â
âYeah, sweetheart.â
âI was wondering if you could do me a favorâŠâ
âAnything for you, doll. Whatâs up?â
âCan you let me paint you shirtless?â
She instantly sees his body tense. But Bucky quickly recovers and hides it
âYou want to be shirtless as you paint me? Sounds like a plan!â He jokes
âNo! You know what I meant, Buck!â Y/N giggles as she gets attacked with his kisses. âPlease, Bucky?â
âOh, not the puppy eyes! Thatâs not fair.â
Eventually Bucky gives in. He canât say no to her.
Heâs lounging on the couch in black jeans, but no shirt. She lets him pose however he wants, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable than he already is.
Y/N is ridiculously meticulous about every little detail of his body. She canât exaggerate or ignore any part of him. It will ruin the whole point of this.
She lets him take a few breaks. But makes sure to cover the canvas so he canât see the painting until itâs finished.
She gives him kisses during the breaks and keeps telling him heâs the most handsome and sexiest model sheâs ever going to get to paint
Bucky blushes and hardly believes her
After hours and hours of painting, sheâs finished
Bucky rushes to their bedroom to put on a shirt
âCome look, Buck.â Y/N urges gently.
Bucky reluctantly goes to see
But heâs blown away by the way Y/N has painted him
Yes, itâs him. But itâs him through her eyes.
âItâs amazing, doll. Not because of me, but because of you.â Bucky whispers.
âNo, itâs mostly you.â She corrects. âBucky, wanna know why I wanted to paint you so badly?â
He shrugs.
âBecause youâre beautiful. I know you donât think so. I know you think youâre damaged and that your scars make me love you less. But youâre wrong. Everything you wish you could change, I find it beautiful. Because it tells me a story. It told me things about you before you could tell me in words. Artists donât find normal or perfection interesting. Because itâs boring. No one ever learned anything from normal.â
Buckyâs eyes fill with tears. But he manages to blink them away.
âThis is how I see you, Buck.â Y/N added in a whisper.
Bucky doesnât waste any time pulling Y/N to him and capturing her in a passionate kiss
âYou have no idea how much I love you, doll.â He whispers in between kisses. âI wish I could paint you too and show you how I see you.â
Y/N giggles. âWell⊠guess youâll have to show me some other way.â
Bucky picks her up and carries her to the bedroom, chuckling at how her naked skin is covered in specks of dried paint
