Me in real life 🤭🖤

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seen from China

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Me in real life 🤭🖤
Anxiety pulsing through my body
Words I have said rushing in my head
Hard to discern
Overall dread
Insecurities
Maybe I should just hide?
Why did I say that?
Was it wrong for me to say that?
Was it fine?
Do they hate me?
Do they love me?
Wide awake
Out of control
My thoughts overwhelm me
My thoughts overcome me
I don’t want to accidentally burn bridges by being myself
Social anxiety is now turning into work anxiety too
Just breath
Have to breath
Have to remind myself to breath
Can take hours to calm down
What is this telling me?
Why can’t I just say fuck it and be myself?
dont worry
if anyone out there like me where you are embarrassed and angered by the fact that you have deep and visible hip dips or natural violin hips (not love handles) just remember that years ago having a big butt was something to be embarrassed about. look at it now. have hope
you dont need to be societies standards to be hot af
Due to the decline of China’s economy, many workers strive to find ways to secure their futures. “A recent survey by The Financial Times found that 45 percent of Chinese middle-earners wanted to trade at least 10 percent of their savings for foreign currency, while another 29 percent had already done so.”
Source : http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/11/opinion/chinas-middle-class-anxieties.html
validation from others is wildly tempting but ultimately empty
That awkward moment when someone jokes about your insecurities and you have to act like it doesn't bother you.
I'm a very insecure person,I just have learnt a better poker face
Beautiful mistakes
I'm happy. But no matter how happy I am there is still a part of my mind that expects it to end. I can't fully immerse myself in my happiness because my fears and insecurities have tied a rope around my ankles. Ready to pull me out when the waters turn dark. That is my curse. It's a part of me. But it helps me to realise how much I want something. As the more I want it the tighter the rope pulls.