#insert relevant tag here

[foreversagacious]

get this rat off my screen

[millie1536]

Stronger Than You Realise

I’m on a roll

TW: Mentions of self-harm, Attempted self-harm, Mentions of abuse

The queens knew that it would take time for Izzy to adjust to her new home. She stuck close to Anne and Kitty, especially for the first few weeks, and Freya never strayed far from her side. She was very wary of the other women, not letting any of them get too close and only speaking when spoken to if  one of them was present. She spoke a little more freely when it was just Anne or Kitty in the room but even then she was cautious. After her first night in the house it was clear that she could not be left alone, especially at night, and so she moved into Anne and Kitty’s room. Her first night there Anne slept with Kitty in her bed allowing Izzy to take Anne’s bed, but it wasn’t long before Izzy was sitting up in bed screaming. After that she slept in between Anne and Kathrine in Kathrine’s bed, it was slightly bigger than Anne’s. This didn’t stop the nightmares but it did allow Kitty and Anne to keep an eye on her as she slept and hopefully quell any nightmares before they woke the poor girl up.

The other queens did their best to make Izzy feel safe and welcome but they knew it would take time for the girl to trust them. She had met Anne and Kathrine when she was in a safe place, somewhere she felt protected, but now she was living in a new house with new people.

 “When was the last time you washed?” Kathrine asked Izzy one morning. She hoped it didn’t come across as rude but she couldn’t help but notice the build-up of grime on the girl’s skin. Izzy shrugged.

“A few weeks ago I think.” She said quietly, she was still getting used to the idea that she could speak without fear of punishment.

“After breakfast I’m going to run you a bath, alright?” Kathrine smiled at the girl, “With lots of bubbles.” She added. One corner of Izzy’s mouth curled upwards at the idea. It was the closest Kitty had seen her get to a smile since that first day at the park.

After the two had finished eating Kathrine took Izzy upstairs and began to run the water. Once the tub was full she turned to Izzy.

“I’ll leave Freya in here with you, alright? And I’ll be just outside if you need me.” Izzy nodded; she was glad Kathrine understood her need for privacy when naked. True to her word Kathrine sat outside the bathroom listening for any sign of distress. She was just starting to relax, to think that maybe Izzy would be alright on her own, when she heard Freya barking. “Izzy?” Kathrine knocked on the door. no answer. “Are you alright?” again no answer. “I’m going to come in alright, I’m not going to hurt you I just need to know that you’re okay.” Kathrine said before entering the bathroom. What she saw broke her heart. Izzy sat hunched over in the bathtub, her eyes shut tight as tears streamed down her cheeks, a razor blade lay discarded on the tiled floor. Carefully, Kathrine picked it up, wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in the bin, she was relieved when she saw no sign of blood on it.

“I’m sorry.” Izzy whimpered, not opening her eyes. “I just wanted it to end.” Kathrine took a clean towel from a hook and held it out for Izzy.

“It’s okay. Why don’t you get out and dry off and then we can talk?” More tears filled Izzy’s eyes as she took the towel.

“Done.” She said, once it was wrapped around her small body. Kathrine turned back to the girl, a sense of relief flooded her when she saw there were no new cuts on Izzy’s arms or legs and no blood seeping through the towel. Kathrine helped her to dry herself and then turned her back again while the girl got dressed. A few minutes later and the two of them, plus Freya, were curled up under a blanket on the lounge. Kathrine had made them both hot chocolate and was waiting for Izzy to begin the conversation. Kathrine hated it when people tried to force her to talk about things before she was ready and she wasn’t about to do that to Izzy.

“It’s alright. I’m right here.” Kitty told Izzy when the girl unexpectedly threw herself into Kathrine’s arms. “You’re okay.” Kathrine held her close as her body shook from the sheer force of her sobs.

“I’m sorry.” Izzy choked out as she continued to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, you’re not in any trouble.” Kathrine had quickly learned how important is was to assure Izzy that she wasn’t going to be punished.

“It hurts so much.” The girl sobbed into Kathrine’s shoulder. “It never goes away. I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted him to stop yelling.” Kathrine held Izzy tighter. She knew what Izzy was talking about. Mannox had a way of getting into your head, of never letting you have a moments peace even when you were alone. “I couldn’t do it.” Izzy pulled away from Kathrine, her small body trembling from what seemed to be a mixture of terror and rage. “I wasn’t strong enough to do it.” Izzy began slamming the heels of her palms into her temples. Kathrine, her hands taking hold of Izzy’s wrists, fought with her a moment before Izzy fell limp against her once more.

“You are so strong.” Kathrine reassured her, brushing some hair out of her eyes. “After everything that’s happened you are still here, still fighting. That’s what makes you strong, surviving. Strength is being able to keep going when all you want to do is disappear. It’s telling someone you trust what is happening inside your head. It’s admitting that your struggling and letting your family help you.” Family. The word came out so naturally that Kathrine barely noticed it, but Izzy froze when she heard it.

“Family?” She murmured, looking up at Kitty. Kathrine nodded.

“You’re my family now. You’re a part of this family now which means that you have six people who are going to be there for you when you need help. Six people who are going to look after and protect you to the best of their abilities until the end of their lives no matter what happens.” Kathrine wanted to tell Izzy how much she loved her, how much they all did, but she knew that at this point in time that was not an option. It had taken Anne months to be able to tell her cousin she loved her and it was almost a year before any of the others were able to say it. She knew that, in Izzy’s mind, Love meant pain and abuse and so she didn’t say it, instead she showed the girl. Kathrine lost track of time as the two of them sat together on the couch, Izzy curled up in Kathrine’s lap the same way Kathrine would curl up in Anne’s lap when she needed comfort.

“I always wanted a big sister.” Izzy said after a long silence, “Thank you.”

“I’m never going to leave you, I promise.” Kathrine risked pressing a quick kiss to the top of Izzy’s head, she couldn’t help but smile when the girl didn’t pull away.

“Really?” Izzy asked.

“Really.”

[ommogi]

Here’s the one with the background. I like both versions tbh :0 though the transparent one didn’t turn out quite the same.

[ammonoideas]

here’s a low quality animation that took me over 3 hours to make :’)

[tribow]

Ever since I moved the change in lifestyle is really hitting me. Some of my favorite past times have been thrown to the way-side and I really want to get back into the swing of things.

I haven't really been blogging much as of late. I do enjoy doing that, but I'm always doing SOMETHING. Any time I think to make a post I realize how much time it'll take and I just don't do it. By the time I do have time to make a post the moment has passed and I no longer want to do it.

This has been the main reason for the lack of posting, but I also haven't been as active in other areas.

Touhou? Haven't touched it for a while. I do keep up with doujin music circles, but other than reading the lately Detective Satori chapter I haven't done anything. I still want to play through the games, but I feel like I only have enough time to dedicate myself to 2 or 3 games at most. Anyone following this blog knows I can yap about Touhou for eons, but alas, it's just not the only game I want to play.

Distance takes the most priority. I know I'll have fun and there's still plenty of ways I want to creatively express my ideas through that game. It's a good 'ol time. I'm still fairly active on Twitch streaming my Distance shenanigans.

Then there's the anime. I haven't watched SHIT in so looong I have no idea where to comfortably fit watching anime in my daily routine. I might miss doing this the most. You know how many dumb shows I could have watched and rambled about by now?

Nah, too busy fending for myself and family in real life and keeping the broke bitch arc alive.

I'm hoping I can get back to on some of the old bullshit though. This isn't even nostalgia I get pretty stressed when I can't pursue my passions. Something must be done! I'm losing sleep!

For my own sanity, maybe I'll be able to post more on this blog soon.

Oh, also I'm considering making a Pillowfort account. Tumblr just gets more and more volatile as time goes on.

I'm definitely going down with the ship, but I do like having multiple places to post stuff and Pillowfort seems to function well enough for blogging purposes. I used to be on Cohost when that was a thing, so this isn't anything new.

Idk. I just want to yap again. I haven't been yapping. I need to yap. My yappery must commence. Maximum yappage. It's yappening.

[mactiir]

german cuisine is literally the wurst

[terrorbuns]

Fetishes go go go

Hahahahah this isn't too big of a list, and it's more kinks then fetishes (the distinction being kinks are something that turn you on while fetishes are stuff you NEED to be turned on but that distinction is really up to the user of the word woops run-on here let me get back to the question itself here.

I really enjoy crossdressing, both as just a fun activity and in the sexual sense. As to who's crossdressing it can be either me or the partner. (I would love to wear long skirts because they're comfy but I am getting off topic hah.)

That's pretty much the main one. I just sort of enjoy sex as a whole? I guess it's just HOW I AM FEELING or something ha ha ha ha.

This has been a kinda boring answer brought to you by Robbie. Woop.

EDIT: Oh, I guess I just have a thing for clothing. I just really like looking at fancier clothing, it's just so wonderful @o@

[hisnameisjoanne]

i'm going to do it tomorrow

we've both got frees before lunch, i think

and if i can i'm going to go to the school rose garden and talk to her

now just what the fuck do i say?