#inside the shell(about)

[madeofflint]

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Scrooge defaults to topping with women because he feels that it’s his role as a man to do so, though over time he’ll learn that he quite enjoys being pegged. With men he wants to top because he wants to feel in control of the situation, to feel more secure in not being ill-used and that he can quite literally pull out if he wants. As he gets more comfortable in his relationship with Jacob, he’ll let Jacob ride him and dominate him in other ways, but that vulnerability requires an awful lot of trust. He sees women as less objectively threatening, and can get to that state sooner with woman partners.

[madeofflint]

👗

Scrooge is one step away from a never-nude, honestly. He wouldn’t even be naked to shower if he could get away with it. The first few times that he and Jacob fucked, Scrooge only lowered his trousers enough to get his cock out comfortably. His resistance to nudity is certainly the result of his trauma, which has to some degree also become his insistence on cleanliness. To be naked is to be exposed, literally and figuratively–vulnerable. Leaving oneself open to any insidious contamination that chose to befoul you. As he gets more comfortable in his relationship, however, he’s willing to undress further. It helps that Jacob is so absurdly laid back about such matters-he’s noticed that when he’s at home with Jacob, Jacob chooses to be naked whenever the mood suits him.

[madeofflint]

👀

👀 - What do they look for in a sexual partner?

Scrooge doesn’t have much experience in the matter, so he appreciates someone who is willing to take charge. That’s been the deciding factor with both of his long-term sexual partners, honestly. The fact that they were willing to make the first move is the reason that he ended up in a relationship with them in the first place. Being comfortable enough to be vulnerable with the person is also a necessity because of his trauma, so he is unlikely to seek a sexual relationship with someone that he’s not already in a close relationship with. In terms of physical attraction, he finds a bit of softness appealing, as well as expressive eyes and features. If you can charm him, that’s half the battle.

[madeofflint]

Have you ever given a fake name?

"Are you implying that I partake in less than gentlemanly activities?" He asked, a cold smile quirking his lips. "On the contrary, I prefer that everyone associates my deeds with my own name. What's the point in doing anything if no-one knows that it was you who did it? Hiding behind a pseudonym seems rather cowardly."

In truth, Jacob has taken him to brothels and molly-houses where the patrons were expected to give a false name in order to protect their privacy. Perhaps someone might still recognize you by sight but well, if they revealed your secret to others outside of these spaces, they would be compromising their own situation as well. Scrooge always felt rather silly trying to think of something else he ought to call himself, since he'd had no say in naming himself the first time around, but he understood the necessity of doing so and made his best attempt.

[madeofflint]

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend?

“Friendship is often a precursor to any sort of feelings towards another individual, is it not?” Scrooge asked, playing half coy. “Most meaningful interactions only ever begin in the assumption of enmity or friendship...even the brief interaction between a customer and a peddler usually starts off with one or the other. True neutrality is elusive, possibly even mythical.”

In truth, Scrooge rarely forms close friendships with other men—a childhood of being bookish and odd made it hard to connect with people, and once you factored in puberty and his burgeoning attraction to other boys, well, he felt increasingly ill-fitting in fraternal spaces. He attended boarding school after all and staples like casual physical affection and other boys changing for athletics around him became a source of stress, like he was going to give away this apparently shameful secret. The fact that he was sexually abused by a male schoolmaster added to this feeling of shame and distress concerning his sexuality, as well as reinforcing the idea that his sexuality must be shameful and fundamentally wrong in some sense.

When he met Jacob, however, he was nearing the end of his teens and while by this point he had decided that the idea of God and what was ‘sinful’ no longer concerned him, a good deal of that shame was still present, as was the confusion. Was he misinterpreting Jacob’s intentions? Was this just wishful thinking on his part? Or was he being predatory, taking advantage of Jacob’s vulnerability in their closeness? Fortunately they were able to sort it out, but the purgatory that preceded it verged on torturous.

[madeofflint]

Would you rather live forever or know exactly when you're going to die?

“That is a rather interesting question,” he mused thoughtfully, “I’d have to think living forever would get awfully tedious after awhile, though it would be interesting to see how the world changes over time. On the other hand, though I find quite a bit of satisfaction in counting, the count-down to one’s death would be rather morbid, stress-inducing, even, as the timeclock counted ever down...but it would make planning one’s affairs much easier. Might even be motivational.”

[madeofflint]

4, 15, 20, 21

4. is there a kink they’d love to try, but never found the right person to test it with?

Scrooge doesn’t spend much time thinking about what his kinks might be, nor much about sex in general. However, when he’s with a partner that he’s comfortable with, he is more open to exploring and so, more open to considering what his kinks might be. For instance, with Belle he learned that he enjoyed penetration using non-penis implements. Being with Jacob has encouraged him to explore quite a bit more in general as well as to be more vulnerable. He’s learned that submission to another man can be both pleasurable and not a forfeiture of self the way he feared it would be. 

15. would they be in for a threesome with a married couple?

He was, in fact the one considering a threesome for some time, at least in a sense. He loved Belle deeply but his feelings for Jacob were growing and he found himself wishing for a way that he could have both of them. Of course he had no idea how that might work. He wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, however, which contributed to the growing gap between them. Too bad that he didn’t, given that she might have been open to the idea. 

20. did they ever have complications during sex? (the condom breaking, being interrupted by someone… ) 

Scrooge and Jacob often get interrupted by his cat during sex, to the point that it’s rather become a joke between the two of them. He’s ended up having to chase her out of the room while still naked more than once, much to Jacob’s amusement. He’s not sure how he managed to raise such a little voyeur.  And once, he and Belle were interrupted by one of her sisters. The shrill giggling rather killed the mood. 

21. did they ever come too quickly? how did they react? how did their partner react?

Both of his ‘first times’ (with Belle and with Jacob) he had to contend with that problem. He was incredibly embarrassed and tried to apologize, feeling extra shame with Jacob because in his mind there was an element of competition given that they were both men and both friends. He doesn’t like the idea of disappointing his partner and he strives towards personal excellence in general, so these instances truly wounded his ego. Belle, true to form, did her best to laugh it off and reassure him, while Jacob tried to be understanding.  

[madeofflint]

Oh hey, I had a night I had a day I did one million stupid things I said one billion foolish things I'm not okay, I got a baseball bat beside my bed To fight off what's inside my head To fight off what's behind my meds I'm lonely; lost in pain