deleted instagram app (not account) on sunday after having a breakdown and i honestly feel that was the best decision i have made in a long time
i think that two of my biggest issues with that platform are the constant information about others and being triggered by posts and stories of people who i know are not genuine (and seeing their instagram facade)
and the biggest one is the pressure i put on myself; does this post reflect me as a person enough, does my values show in this post, am i being the best version of myself in this goddam platform, do they see me, do they see me, please tell me they see me as i am and as i long to be and as i wish to be seen
i have kinda wanted to leave instagram behind for two years now bc i felt so lost there, like the joy of using it has been gone for a long time and i didn’t even know what i wanted to post and in some way the boundaries between myself and others started to fade and it didn’t feel right
like yeah, using instagram didn’t feel right anymore. i feel like it’s something that was a fun thing to do in the beginning but then it transformed to this demanding and time consuming habit that felt more like an awful job than a platform where i can express myself, be creative and meet like-minded-people