Not comming slow
I woke up like this
you are enough
It never rains during the weekend
Oh, hi there!
Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it
When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
This seat is taken
Girls be like…
Is I in trouble?
I will eat just one, I swear
Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about
I read the twilight books
survived another “end of the world” scenario
I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”
A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Crossfit? I play real sports
I need a six month holiday, twice a year
if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread man?
Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Thank you for making me feel less alone
I must destroy you with hugs and kisses
Hey, I just met you, this is crazy
If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
How did I get back to my crib last night
At dawn, we ride
The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”
I like cooties
Oh you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
I liked memes before they were on Instagram
Puts selfie on top of tree because I’m the star.
I had fun once, it was horrible
I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it
we made it, it’s Friday!
If we could only turn back time…
What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram
At least this balloon is attracted to me!
Friday, my second favorite F word
Women drivers rev my engine
stop stop, I’m gunna pee.
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