The last thing Castiel remembered was being dragged into the Empty. Then he was inexplicably in Heaven, but not Heaven as he'd last seen it. Jack was quick to fill him on everything that had happened since he died, but Jack, too, wasn't as he'd left him. Cas had come to think of him as a son, and it was clear that was a role that no longer needed filling. Jack, for all intents and purposes, was God now, at least in power. And Castiel had a choice, which was something he'd never been offered in the past. He could stay and help Jack rebuild Heaven, which was badly in need of it, or he could go home to his family.
He wouldn't pretend it was a decision that needed thinking about. The offer to assist with Heaven was open-ended, and if nothing else, he wanted to see the Winchesters again, not least because they'd wandered into a nest of vampires. According to Jack, who was an authority on the subject at this point, it didn't look like that was going to go their way. Cas was curbing his surprise that they'd managed to stay alive this long without help. There was joy in having his wings back unmutilated, and he spun the angel blade in his hand before decapitating a vampire in a skull mask in one smooth motion. Since when did vampires wear masks? Did everyone have a gimmick now?
They set me on fire, and I did a lot of burning.
Told me I didn't know things I thought I knew for certain.
And now the wind's getting colder, and the night's getting cruel.
But I don't mind, I don't mind if I'm with you.
I paid for my sins 'til the blood filled the room.
I don't feel any better now. I don't mind if I'm with you.
Laurie wasn’t completely aware of where she was going when she left Michael. She was struggling to figure out how she was alive at all right now, how he would just let her walk away like that, and a part of her didn’t fully believe it. She looked over her shoulder the whole way, expecting to see his shape looming up out of the shadows, and then she realized she hadn’t headed toward home at all. She’d gone straight for the hunting shop, straight for Dean.
She didn’t see him or anyone as she stepped inside, but she wasn’t sure she had the strength to turn around and go home. Her knees already felt rubbery, and she knew her breaths were coming too fast, but she couldn’t afford to lose it in public. She might as well restock as long as she was here. She moved through the aisles on autopilot, piling things into her arms that might be useful for defending herself or sounding alarms.
A queasy feeling ran through her when she looked down at all of it. What was she doing? It was far more likely that Michael would hurt her with this stuff than that she would be able to hurt him. Putting more weapons in her apartment was just giving him more things to kill her with. She stifled a sob, shoving the things back onto the nearest shelf, only just now realizing there were tears streaming hot down her cheeks.
--
Dean was used to the shop being quiet more often than not when there wasn’t some insane kind of thing happening in town. For the most part, he saw the same faces, heard the same voices, and he didn’t mind it so much. Usually, he was good at listening for people coming into the shop any time he went in the back, so he heard the entrance but figured he could have a few minutes to finish gathering up what he needed for the floor.
Walking out, he set everything down behind the counter to go in search of whoever was in the shop. He called out a greeting, pausing at the sight of Laurie next to a shelf with tears running down her face. There was nothing that could have stopped him from going to her, arms open and hands palm open so she could see. “Laurie, sweetheart,” he murmured gently, gently touching his fingers to her elbow when he got close enough. He was entirely ready to wrap his arms around her when she was willing.
“I’ve got you.” Already, in his mind, he was gearing up for a fight and thinking of all the best places to hide a body, and it didn’t matter who or what. “Take a deep breath for me, Laurie, please.” He tried reaching through what he thought was some kind of panic or anxiety, but he couldn’t know until she talked to him.
--
It was one of the nicer things about Dean that he always approached her from the side so she could see him coming, but in this case it didn’t help. She still startled about a foot, knocking some more things off the shelf, and she had to fight her heart climbing into her throat telling her to run. The flight instinct hadn’t kicked in when she saw Michael, but it was there now in full force to make up for the lapse.
The sweetheart just about broke her, and she shuddered with sobs. “Dean–” It sounded wrecked. She couldn’t breathe. There wasn’t enough air in the world for Michael being back. She had strategies from therapy for managing this, but all of them were being drowned out by the screaming alarms and flashing red lights in her head.
That soft, familiar voice was a lifeline keeping her from slipping into pure panic, and she tried to do as he asked. The air got choked on the way in, and she crumbled. It wasn’t really intentional. Her knees just decided to stop supporting her. Logically, she knew she must be able to breathe if she could cry, but logic didn’t have a strong foothold right now.
--
Dean couldn’t stop the concern that was skyrocketing for her. “I’m here, Laurie,” he tried to make his voice as soothing as he can, letting the concern creep in but keeping his own worry out. There wasn’t much he could think of to rattle her this way and the few things he could, he couldn’t blame her for if they had set her off.
Immediately, he caught her, wrapping his arms around her and scooping her up. At that point, he didn’t care that he was at work as he carried her through the store to the back room. He held her close, tucking his chin on her head as he went to find them a spot to sit down so he could try to get her calm enough to talk to him.
Sitting down, he kept hold of her and tipped his head to look her in the face. “Can you breathe with me?” He took her hand to tuck it against her chest, trying to find any way that he could to help her, to ground her. It had been a long time since he’d dealt with a panic attack that wasn’t his own.
--
She was barely aware of him moving them. It hadn’t even occurred to her she shouldn’t come to his workplace with something like this. She wasn’t thinking straight, and under other circumstances, that could have been very dangerous. She curled instinctively into his warmth and tried to slow her breaths. Panic kept bubbling up, tears running over and ruining her progress.
“Michael– Michael’s here, I saw him.” She managed to choke out an explanation of the brief encounter in between sobs because he needed to know. Dean should know that it wasn’t safe here anymore. It wasn’t safe with her. He was at risk just by knowing her. The thought didn’t help the panic, and it took long, agonizing minutes for it to recede enough to try to control it. Her throat felt raw, but she tried to match her breathing to the slow rise and fall of his chest.
--
Dean didn’t care that she had come to his work. He would always rather she come to him exactly where he was if she needed him, especially if she wasn’t in a headspace to call or text him to go to her. He could feel the ebb and flow of panic and just stayed steady, the one thing he had always been good at. This, he knew how to do: protect and be a rock.
He listened intently as she got out what happened, his jaw hardening further with every word. His arm tightened gently around her, grounding and a comfort as he held her hand gently. “There’s my girl,” he murmured, a quiet and soothing rumble when he felt the shift as she started to genuinely calm, even just a bit. “Almost there, I’ve got you.” It was the most true statement he could make at that moment. She was safe with him.
“Stay with Cas and I for a few days, so we can take care of your apartment and make sure you’re safe in it.” It was less of a request and more of an expectant statement. Michael wasn’t going to get through him, let alone through his angel.
--
Her breath hitched in little sobs while she calmed down, but the weight of his arm and the soft rumble of his voice were helping to steady her. She stayed curled into him, for the moment just relieved to be able to breathe easily again. She concentrated on the even flow of air in and out of her lungs.
Laurie hadn’t been consciously thinking of where she was going, much less that she should call or text to let him know she was coming. She’d just gravitated toward the place she felt safest. If there was anything she knew with absolute certainty, it was that Dean was rock solid. He wouldn’t waver no matter what kind of horror she brought to his door. She was only just realizing how unfair that was to him.
The offer hammered the idea home, and it brought fresh tears spilling over. She desperately wanted to accept and stay where it was safe, even temporarily, but it wasn’t safe for them. “I can’t. He’ll kill you to get to me. I-I shouldn’t even be here right now, I’m sorry.” Her voice broke. It made her feel like the ceiling was about to come down on her to pull away from his hold, but she’d just realized how much danger she’d put him in by coming here. If Michael had followed her… She couldn’t live with herself if she got Dean and Cas killed.
--
His own shoulders relaxed when he felt her calming down, his worry for her a little sated by it. He kept making a point to let her hear and feel his breathing, his hand brushing a soothing line over her back. He always wanted her to feel safe with him, to know that she could come running and he’d fight off whatever monster decided to fuck with her. They were never going to get very far. Not ever again.
A quiet, dark chuckle escaped him at the voiced fear and he slid his hands to cup her face gently, forcing her to look at him. “Stop that,” he said softly, his thumbs wiping at tear tracks as he looked at her, reading the fear in every line of her face. “I promise you, nothing will get to us that we can’t handle. And they’re definitely not going to get to you through us.” He knew that, to her, he was just a man, however talented he might be with his weapons. He was easily hurt.
It would be true. Except for Cas.
He made a quick decision, one based on the faith that his partner would trust him and his judgement. “Cas would never let Michael get to either of us. And he certainly would never make it into my apartment. He literally can’t.” He slid a hand to brush over her hair, still trying to calm her.
--
That dark chuckle would have sent a shiver through her if it was ever aimed at her. She’d never really had to face his scary side, but she knew it was there. She knew from Dean and Cas’s stories that they’d fought much scarier things than a guy in a mask, but Michael had always had a sort of magnified status in her mind of something horrible and unkillable. That was probably a thing she needed to work on in therapy, of reducing him back to human status, or at least something that could be killed.
She drew in a slow breath, meeting his eyes. It was hard not to be reassured by his certainty. She wanted to believe him so badly, and the ambivalence was clear on her face. The mention of Cas made her eyes fill with tears again. If she cost one of them their partner–the sweetest and most obviously in love couple she’d ever met–she’d hate herself forever. “What if something happened to Cas?” she whispered, hoping he’d see why he shouldn’t even risk it, not for her. “I would never forgive myself. You would never forgive me, and you shouldn’t.”
--
Dean forcibly took a slow, deep breath to try and encourage her to do the same. He knew that she couldn’t entirely understand why the thought of Michael Myers didn’t fill him with anything but annoyance and anger. There was nothing for him to fear out of a man in a mask, not anymore. Once, maybe. He hated that she was haunted by one, that he filled her with so much fear. He could understand it, that terror that it would never go away, that she would never be free.
He smiled softly and shook his head at her, running a surprisingly gentle hand over her hair. “Listen to me. Michael couldn’t hurt Cas if he tried,” he assured her. He sighed softly and slid his fore-knuckle under her chin, “The only person I am ever scared of hurting Cas is me, sweetheart.” He gathered his thoughts for a minute, and even knowing Cas would forgive him and understand, he still wished he were there to tell him what he was about to do was okay. “You know how I call Cas ‘Angel’?”
--
She’d been copying his breathing for long enough that it was perfectly natural to do it now. Everything was safer in Dean’s hands right now anyway. She trusted him with her life, to always have her best interests at heart. She wouldn’t have instinctively gone to him, even while terrified out of her mind, if she didn’t. His lack of fear frightened her though.
The words made almost no sense to her. She’d seen Michael throw people around like they were paper dolls. She’d never seen Castiel in action to know if he could do the same, although she knew he was strong. It hit her suddenly, how she’d never seen him sparring at the gym. Her breath hitched softly, still evening out after the crying and the panic, but she was in there now, her thinking relatively clear, and she nodded. It was one of the cutest things she’d ever heard them say.
--
If Dean had his way, nothing would ever touch Laurie again. If it did, well, that was why he’d taught her how to handle every weapon that he knew. He never wanted her to feel defenseless, and this terror right now just served to piss him off at Michael. The man in a mask could watch his ass because he was officially on Dean’s list.
He watched her eyes get a little clearer, the panic receding and letting her focus better. He brushed his thumb gently over her cheek and gave her a small smile. “He is my angel, Laurie. In every sense of the word, and yes, even the one you’re going to try and say is impossible.” He sighed softly, “Now, that’s Cas’s secret, and I’m sure you can figure why he keeps it. But trust me when I say, Michael won’t lay a hand on either of us, and he certainly won’t touch you.”
--
When she was calmer, Laurie would realize that she wasn’t the same girl she’d been in Haddonfield. She’d learned so many things to protect herself in Sallow Hills, and she had a support system here that she’d never had at home. This conversation was case in point. Even if she currently doubted his sanity a little, his unshakeable calm was helping to steady her.
At first, she didn’t understand what he was saying. Of course Castiel was his angel. It was probably the sweetest endearment she’d ever heard. It took a long moment to realize he meant it literally, and she barely kept her mouth from falling open. She drew a slow, shaky breath and tried to wrap her mind around that, but it just… refused to wrap.
“Cas is an angel?” she repeated softly, but it sounded a lot like angels are real? The implications of that were too staggering to fully work through right now, but the one standing out to her was that she’d knitted a rainbow scarf for an angel for Christmas. She snapped back to earth at the word secret, and she had to fight down fresh tears that Dean trusted her with that. “I understand. I wouldn’t– I’ll never tell anyone.”
--
It was entirely fair for her to doubt his sanity at a time like this. He didn’t imagine too many people would be so calm in the face of what she’d said and who was in town. But to Dean, he was nothing more than a man in a mask and that was the least scary thing in the world to him. Cats in lockers ranked higher than that.
He waited patiently for his words to sink in, to watch the shock of that settle in and take over the fear response that had driven her to him to begin with. He couldn’t even say when angel had become a term of endearment for Cas, but it was practically embedded in him.
Nodding, he gave her an easy smile and tried not to chuckle at the non-question in her voice. “I know you won’t and wouldn’t,” he soothed, his palm rubbing soothing circles on her back as it all sank in. “So, believe me when I say that Michael, of all people, can never get through me and Cas, i mean it.”
--
The fear wasn’t gone, and she suspected it wouldn’t be for a long time, but shock had definitely taken its place as the dominant emotion. It wasn’t just the surprise of learning that angels were real. It was the implications of that one simple statement. Laurie’s brain loved a puzzle, and he’d just given her a theological Rubik’s cube that she’d be turning over in her mind forever, possibly. If angels were real, it stood to reason that a lot of other things were real too, and that knowledge was flooring.
It was more pleasant than the underlying panic that Michael was back, but still, she did her best to set it aside and focus back on the present. She could mull over both those things on her own time. She had no idea what she’d done to deserve an angel and his monster-slaying boyfriend protecting her, but… it was Dean and Cas. She thought of them like pseudo-dads, since her real dad wasn’t here. She decided she didn’t want it changing how she saw them, as people, as family.
“I believe you. Thank you, for trusting me with that.” She nodded slowly, her words coming equally slow. Her mind was a whirlwind, but it was taking time for anything to actually escape that tornado in any kind of coherent way. She looked him over curiously, the realization that he was totally calm finally sinking in. She knew he was; she’d relied on it, borrowed some of that steadiness to calm herself down, but he wasn’t just putting on a good show for her. “You really aren’t scared of him at all, are you?” She knew Dean had seen her movie from the first time they met, so it wasn’t a lack of fear born out of ignorance. He just wasn’t afraid.
--
He would much rather stick with her through shock than more panic. He could do it, and would, but it didn’t necessarily mean he would like it. He would do a lot to help her, to take care of her, but he wasn’t great at handling emotional…. anything. Practice had only helped so much there.
“Trusting you with it is easy, Laurie,” he assured her gently. He knew she would never do anything that would put Cas in danger or under a microscope. She loved him too. He could hear the way her brain was still attempting to process, and he could understand it. He’d basically just blown open a whole part of her mind to accept that there was a lot that was real that hadn’t been for her before.
Feeling her eyes studying him heavily, he arched an eyebrow at her. The question made him laugh softly, but not in a mean way, never at her. “No, I have no reason to be afraid of a man in a mask,” he said bluntly. Blowing out a breath slowly, he looked at her, “I’ve faced down the king of hell. He’s actually not the worst being in existence, believe it or not, and I like his mom, but you can never tell her I said so.” He had long accepted that dead didn’t necessarily mean dead here, considering Jesus and others. “Sweetheart, I fought god himself. A murderer in a mask will never scare me.”
--
As far as Laurie was concerned, Dean was acing this particular scenario when it came to handling emotions. He gave her a safe place to panic and calm down, and she couldn’t think of a single other person in town who could do that for her. Even at home, there weren’t a lot of people she trusted enough to lose control around. Her eyes filled with tears again, and she was blaming it on the recent panic attack that all her emotions were right on the surface. She blinked them away, not wanting to make him feel worse when he was being so kind to her.
Her eyebrows went up faintly at the words, but after hearing there was an angel in town, the king of hell wasn’t such a stretch of the imagination. “You’re friends with the mother of hell,” she repeated, the corner of her mouth quirking upward in a smile. It was so absurd, she didn’t know how else to react to that. She’d heard some of Dean and Cas’s stories about hunting before, but she was realizing now that they’d toned it down a lot for her.
She pulled in a slow breath, feeling calmer, in large part because he’d distracted her with something else. “I… might want to hear that story sometime. But not today.” She gave a little laugh, rubbing her hands over her temples as she shook her head. She wasn’t sure she could handle anything more today. She leaned forward to hug him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. “Thank you, Dean.” She wanted to clarify it but didn’t think she could get the words out right now. She thought he would understand though.
--
He couldn’t blame her for the emotions continuing to ride high. It was a hard thing to rein in, especially when trauma was part of the equation. Emotions weren’t really subject to logic. He was glad she felt safe and comfortable enough with him to not try to hide it all and he was going to keep trying to be that safe place for her.
An absolutely unrepentant grin crossed his face when her eyebrows rose and she smiled, knowing that could help pull her out of the funk she was in. “Yep, she is kind of funny as shit, actually,” he chuckled. “She also likes my brother better, but whatever.” He rolled his eyes playfully, having never really cared much who liked who better.
Feeling that slow breath he immediately relaxed and was willing to keep distracting her if it was working. “Any time you want, just ask. It’s not like I don’t have an extra amount of frankly ridiculous stories you can know now.” He could absolutely understand her not wanting to hear any more of it today. “I dumped a lot on you with one truth,” he acknowledged easily. His arms wrapped firmly around her and he pressed his face into her hair gently. “Any time.”
--
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” she teased quietly, a small smile pulling up the corner of her mouth. She’d never met Dean’s brother, so there was no way for her to form an objective opinion. She didn’t think she’d be able to anyway though. She already had an obvious bias toward Dean. She had enough clarity to know there was a bit of hero-worship there, but she just couldn’t imagine someone better than him.
“I’d like to hear them,” she encouraged with a small nod. She wanted to hear anything he wanted to tell her. His life was fascinating. By comparison, Laurie felt like she really only had one story to tell, and he already knew it. Frankly, she wasn’t sure she wanted any more. Life was happier when it was boring and safe. “You distracted me, and you gave me comfort. Both worked,” she said softly, knowing that was why he’d told her at all.
“Would you mind if I stayed? Until you get off work? I won’t bother you. I just… I don’t want to walk home by myself.” She wasn’t sure she was focused enough to sit back there and read or do homework, but she didn’t think she could stand to be alone right now. Michael had let her walk away this time, but for all she knew, he was just messing with her.
--
“None, whatsoever. His hair is ridiculous,” he snorted, glad to see her softening and relaxing. He’d crack all the jokes in the world at his brother’s expense for it at the moment, really. He tried to be better for her, to fit the image she held of him but there was no way he could ever be that good.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he agreed. He had more stories than actually made sense, and some of them were genuinely fun or funny, not just frightening. Others were flat out ridiculous, really. “Good. I just needed you to be… better,” he mused, knowing that okay was a bit of a stretch at the moment.
The request made him smile and run a hand over her hair gently. “I would prefer if you did, and then we’ll stop by your apartment,” he was very stern on that last half, “So you can pack a bag and come with me. I’ll send Cas a text to let him know what’s up. I’ll feel better if you just… don’t stay alone.”
--
She managed a weak smile at the joke since she knew he was trying to cheer her up. She knew from their stories that there was a depth of love there that she could probably never understand, being an only child. “I’m… better,” she decided after a moment’s hesitation. She wouldn’t go with good, but she felt calmer now, like she wasn’t going to come apart at any moment. As long as she didn’t have to go back outside alone right now.
“If you’re sure that’s not an imposition,” she agreed, biting her lip. “I don’t really want to be alone either.” She didn’t want to intrude on their lives, but the thought of staying in her empty apartment all night was abhorrent. She knew there wouldn’t be any sleep for her if she tried. She’d be white-knuckling it staring at the door all night. Maybe she wouldn’t sleep anyway, but she’d feel safer with Dean and Cas.
tw: canon-typical triggers and mentions of trauma, but mostly holiday cutes
Back at home, Laurie would have been far too intimidated to approach someone like Dean Winchester. She wouldn’t have been found in a hunting shop at all, since she couldn’t imagine explaining it to her parents, let alone had the nerve to talk to him or ask for his help. Now, she thought of him among her closest friends. It wasn’t just that he’d agreed to show her how to work the guns she bought there. It was that he’d gone above and beyond that request to show her how to handle every gun he owned from smallest to largest so that she’d always be able to protect herself with anything. She was pretty sure if there was a safe space to show her how to work a grenade launcher, he would have taught her that too.
She didn’t know if a Christmas party at the community center was really his thing, but she’d brought his gift along anyway just in case. She’d gotten the idea of crocheting scarves for her friends in October, when she spent the majority of her time hiding in her apartment and avoiding all things Halloween. It made for a lot of downtime, and even Laurie could only spend so much time reading or studying. They’d come out warm and lovely, in her opinion, and she’d made sure to make one for Castiel too. He was wearing a trenchcoat almost every time she’d seen him, so maybe the cold was a problem.
--
Settling into life in Sallow Hills meant settling into a life. It was something he hadn’t done for such a long time, and he had forgotten how much he could enjoy it when he just let himself. He’d made friends, had his life with Cas, was teased by his angel for all but adopting Laurie. That one, he never would have thought possible, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. After all, he’d practically cut his teeth on those movies.
That life was what had him going to the community center, amused at Cas and the art thing. When he saw Laurie, he grinned to himself and made his way over to her. He never came up behind her, always came around her side so she could see him. “Doin’ okay?” His way of a greeting, but he hadn’t been able to keep himself from worrying over her since October had come and gone.
--
Laurie knew the moment they met that Dean recognized her name, and that was fine. She knew those horrible movies existed, but she never brought them up, and she didn’t hold it against anyone who had seen them. They clearly didn’t know they were based on real events. She had told him the whole story about Michael though, in all the hours they’d spent at target practice. He’d been kinder than he had to be to her, and he deserved to know the truth, especially if Michael ever showed up here.
In a lot of ways, Dean’s stories were even weirder to her though. She found them a little comforting now that she was in Sallow Hills where things like that existed out in the open, although maybe they had always existed in her world too, and she just hadn’t known it because of people like him who held the monsters back in the darkness. She didn’t discount the theory.
She appreciated the way he always let her see him coming too, and she didn’t hide a bright smile when she turned to him. “Doing okay,” she agreed, her usual answer as she stepped forward to hug him. “You? I’m glad you’re here! I wasn’t sure community parties were your thing. I’m not sure they’re my thing,” she admitted with a laugh. She’d always felt awkward and out of place at things like this, even back when she had friends her own age to smooth the edges.
–
It didn’t matter how grown up he was. Dean loved movies and tv, so he could hardly be blamed for recognizing so many people in town. He tried not to da girl where they could hear, saving it for Cas and often dragging him to the couch to watch things with him. But with Laurie, it had shifted into a fierce need to help her feel safe, to feel like she could handle it if Michael ever managed to reappear in her life. More, he wanted her to know that he’d be there if it ever happened. It was what he did.
He liked seeing that smile on her face, the fact that he brought it to the surface giving him a little bit of pride. He wrapped his arms around her to hug her warmly, happy enough to accept the affection. He was getting better at it, even if it had taken time. “Good,” he answered in return as he let her go to look over her for himself.
“They’re not my thing,” he admitted with a chuckle of his own as he shrugged and draped his arm around her shoulders. “I’m working at that whole ‘life’ thing that isn’t just work, training and hunting, or Cas,” he admitted. It had been a long adjustment, Dean being the stubborn creature he was. “What brought you here?”
–
Laurie wasn’t sure she’d ever feel truly safe again, despite all the steps she’d taken to help herself, learning weapons training and self-defense, and surrounding herself with people who were strong and competent fighters. She could admit to herself that she felt closest when she was with Dean and Castiel though. She’d seen firsthand how good Dean was with weapons and heard his stories, and while she’d never seen Cas fight, he sounded formidable. She’d also run into him by accident once, and… ouch. He might not look intimidating, but he was solid as a brick wall.
But tonight wasn’t about that. “Good.” She grinned, happy to stay tucked under his arm for the moment. It was almost big brotherly, although she’d never said so out loud. She knew Dean had a real sibling out there somewhere. “That’s good, Dean. You deserve a full, happy life.” She nodded as if that settled the matter, and in her mind it did. He was a hero. He’d saved the world more than once. Heroes should have long, happy retirements.
“I’m working on that whole life and friends thing too,” she admitted. “October was… kind of a backslide.” She’d spent entirely too much time locked in her apartment that month, but in her defense, creepy things were happening. She’d had enough creepy Halloweens for a lifetime.
–
Dean did his best to make Laurie feel like she had a safe place to go. It had to be hard, and he tried to put himself in her shoes. He knew that there were creatures that happily would take the chance to take him out if given the chance. Cas wouldn’t let anything happen to her any more than he would, knowing what she had come to mean to Dean.
Dean loved Sam, missed him like he’d miss Baby, but a part of him was glad he wasn’t here. They were both (hopefully) getting the chance at a life that was finally good for both of them. His relationship with Laurie never failed to make him think of Charlie from time to time. “So do you,” he squeezed her gently and looked down at her. He knew that this was something he probably wouldn’t have gotten if he hadn’t found himself in Sallow Hills. Hunting would have caught up to him eventually.
“It gets easier,” his voice was soft and gentle in a way it was for few people. But he understood how hard it could be. His hand lifted to brush over her hair and he looked over her face. “I know. It’ll get better. They will eventually be… functional,” he knew better than to suggest it could ever be better than that. Baby steps.
–
“I’m trying.” She tipped a smile up at him. Laurie would always miss her parents and her home, but she could admit that there were things about Sallow Hills that were far better for her. She couldn’t take the way everyone looked at her in Haddonfield, the Poor Tragic Girl look, or worse, the ones who avoided her like tragedy was somehow catching. Therapy and self-defense weren’t big in the 70s either, and both had helped her a lot, as well as having like-minded people around. It wasn’t up to her, but she wasn’t totally sure she wanted to go back.
“I think it’s a little better for me here. At least I have people who know what it’s like,” she admitted softly, squeezing back gently. Dean was at the top of that list. She’d probably be a little in love with him if he wasn’t twice her age and so obviously head over heels for Castiel. It melted her heart the way he called him angel. (She’d never once imagined he meant that literally.)
“You think so?” It was hard to imagine, but if she was cautiously hopeful. Never fun, never good, but manageable would be an improvement. Her expression brightened as she remembered his gift. “Something good did come from it! I had time to make you a Christmas present.” She shifted to rummage carefully in her bag for the wrapped and ribboned box. It was nestled in there on top of Cas’s, and she didn’t want to tear either of them.
–
He gave her a soft, understanding smile. He knew what it was like to try, to always feel a little bit like you were failing but keep trying anyway. There was nothing easy about what she’d done, recovering her life the way she had and settling into her new life with no intention of revisiting what happened in her past. He wouldn’t have taken kindly to anyone looking at her the way people in Haddonfield had. She’d survived more than most of them would have been able to.
“You absolutely do,” he told her easily. He was always going to be in her corner and he hoped she knew that. It helped that he was able to be himself, even his softest self, with her. The ability to just relax and even be soft about Cas and not be judged for it was something he couldn’t discount.
He chuckled a bit, “I know so.” The advantage of his shudders years, was knowing that manageable came with time. He watched her face brighten and it loosened something in his chest. “Oh?” He watched as she dug in her bag and produced a pretty present. Everything in him softened at being given a Christmas present from anyone but Sammy. “Do you want me to open it now?”
–
Laurie was in no position to judge anyone, and it wasn’t her style anyway. Besides, she thought Dean had hung the moon, and he and Castiel were serious relationship goals. They were low key about it, but there were brief moments here and there when they were so soft with each other it just killed her. The only other couple she knew like that were her own parents.
Add that to being so understood, and her loyalty was unshakable. He knew what she’d been through because he’d been through worse himself. She wouldn’t have wished that on anyone, and it made her glad that he’d found the same safety here in Sallow Hills that she had. “Definitely. I think it’s mean to make people wait until Christmas,” she laughed, bouncing a little in excitement.
–
Laughing softly at the excitement, he unwound his arm from around her so he could properly open his gift. He hadn’t thought that building a new family would be something he would do when he had found himself in Sallow Hills, but it had happened. Slowly, but still, it worked for him. Having Cas, being safe, and being able to help Laurie feel that way were all things he would never forget even if somehow Sallow Hills didn’t hold them in anymore.
Opening the present carefully, he opened the box and everything in him softened at the sight of the scarf laying there. “Well, I think that’s perfect,” he grinned as he pulled it out and immediately wrapped it around his neck. In that moment, he knew he wouldn’t wear another one… ever. That she cared enough to take the time to make him something made his throat tight and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her into a warm hug. “Thank you.”
–
It warmed something inside of her to see him put it on immediately. She hadn’t been totally sure that it was something he would wear and wouldn’t have been offended if he didn’t. She made a soft, pleased sound at the way the colors looked on him, even better than she expected.
She beamed as he pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms around him tight. “It looks perfect. It’s okay if you don’t want to wear it,” she assured him as she pulled away. “It gets so cold here in the winter though. I made one for Cas too. It’s rainbow,” she admitted with a soft laugh. It’s what he’d said when she asked him his favorite color. She thought he might have been joking, but he was hard to read.
–
Having Laurie in his life had soothed away some of the ache of missing people he had lost. Having someone care enough about him to spend the time making him something was a special sort of emotion he really didn’t have any context for. He pressed a soft, affectionate kiss against her hair and knew that Sam would tease him for how soft he’d let himself get. It was worth it, though, to see the way she smiled.
“Nope, I put it on, it’s staying,” he chuckled easily, knowing it had immediately become part of his cold weather wear. The knowledge about Cas’s scarf made something melt in his chest and he smiled brightly. “That will be perfect for my angel,” he tapped his knuckle gently under her chin with a pleased look.
–
“It’s a good color for you,” she assured him fondly, in case he cared how he looked in it. Somehow, Laurie got the sense that he didn’t. She could tell from his stories and occasional comments that softness hadn’t been a big part of his life before he got here, but she could also tell he was wrong about that. Dean had been a hero to a lot of people before he found her.
She beamed at the comment. Castiel was harder for her to read, but if anyone would know what he would like, it was Dean. “That’s so adorable,” she murmured, and then realized she’d said it out loud. “That you call him that, I mean,” she clarified, trying not to blush. Two of the toughest people she’d ever met also made the cutest couple she’d ever seen. Maybe that was why. Nobody expected heroes and hunters to be soft with each other.
–
Dean had never cared much about colors, and had stopped putting too much care into how he looked a long time ago. He’d found what worked for him and he knew his face looked good, so it hadn’t mattered much past that anymore. “I like it,” he decided on firmly, giving her an easy smile. He was slowly getting used to being soft here.
That smile was worth a lot to him and he was glad to see it. The words made him blink quickly in surprise. His own cheeks went pink and he ruffled the hair on the back of his head with a little chuckle. “I guess,” he muttered, his eyes drifting to look for Cas on instinct. “He’s saved me more times than I can count,” he admitted.
–
Laurie had never put a lot of thought into her appearance. She favored simple, comfortable clothes and her hair in a ponytail so it was out of her way. She’d started to mix it up a little in Sallow Hills, the temporary red and green dye on the ends of her pigtails tonight proof enough of that. She didn’t have to be the shy wallflower here, and contemporary fashion ran in so many directions now that most people never looked twice at what she was wearing, even if by her standards it was adventurous.
She hadn’t imagined it was possible to make Dean blush, and she regretted it for a second that she’d let that come out of her mouth without considering it first. He seemed pleased though, as he usually did when Cas was the subject of conversation. Her gaze followed his to where Castiel was drawing or writing something with serious, purposeful attention at the Other Dean’s art station. “You saved each other. At least, that’s how he tells it.” She smiled softly. She hadn’t noticed if Cas had a particular nickname for Dean, but he said his name like it was a synonym for love, and that was special all on its own.
–
He liked how he had gotten to watch Laurie grow more and more into herself. He knew that was she considered daring was downright subtle these days, but growth wasn’t managed on a grand scale. He’d spent a lot of time encouraging her to grow beyond the bounds of the time and place she’d come from, but never pushing because that was something he couldn’t bring himself to do. He knew what it could cost him. And since he only wanted her happy, just seeing those red and green ends on her hair was enough to make him smile knowing that she was getting there.
Dean’s softness had increased constantly with the presence of Cas’s love and loyalty, always turning him into a better version of himself. His eyes lingered on Cas as Laurie’s words registered and he couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped him. “He’s not wrong,” he mused, their history flashing through his head. “We always wanted each other to succeed, for one reason or another,” he admitted softly. “He pulled me out of my darkest days,” quite literally, “And I got him to learn how to live a little.” He thought of mixed tapes and long car rides, angry prayers and soft pleas.
–
Laurie never felt like Dean was pushing her or judging her because she came from another time. It was comforting to be around him in that way because he was familiar with this world and didn’t mind advising her on it. He might laugh if she got something wrong, but never in a mean way, never like he was laughing at her. She also knew he didn’t really care if she never adapted to the twenty-first century. It didn’t have any bearing on who she was as a person.
“Those are the best relationships, I think. The ones where you make each other the best version of yourselves.” She smiled softly at the smile on his face while he watched his partner. She wouldn’t know when it came to romantic partners. She’d still never had a boyfriend. (Or a girlfriend? It wasn’t something she’d said out loud, but the fact that it was a possibility here… Well, she’d noticed. She didn’t fully understand what that knowledge meant to her yet, but it meant something.) But friend and family relationships were like that too.
It had quickly become clear that Castiel and Dean weren't the sort of people who could live in each other's pockets. Much as he valued the time with him, neither of them were made that way, too used to having wars to fight and people to save to sit around at home all the time, even when they had the luxury to do that. Cas spent the days helping Jack rebuild heaven, improving the warding around the bunker, or working the occasional case with the Winchesters, and it was nicer than any version of heaven he'd ever seen.
Evenings were for Dean though, and he usually made sure he was home by dinner. Cooking together had turned out to be oddly enjoyable, and he'd learned enough to cook for him once in a while too (with actually edible results). Other times, he just picked something up on his way home because with his wings back, the whole world was basically the limit. One of the first things he'd done was fix the warding so that nothing got in without their permission, so even Cas couldn't just appear inside anymore. He could use his wings just fine once he was in, but otherwise he used the door. He set the takeout bags on the counter and tipped his head to listen for the boys.
It is in our interest to take care of others. Self-centeredness is opposed to basic human nature. In our own interest as human beings we need to pay attention to our inner values. Sometimes people think compassion is only to help others, while we get no benefit. This is a mistake. When you concern yourself with others, you naturally develop a sense of self-confidence. To help others takes courage and inner strength.
If I am only happy for myself, many fewer chances for happiness. If I am happy when good things happen to other people, billions of chances to be happy!
To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower. Don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself and having confidence in yourself.
