@dcpravities (luke)
it was early, because ben always woke up early. even without his memories, he usually was up by five, if not earlier. depending on the day, he’d just lie there and try to go back to sleep, or he would hop up and get his day going. today was entirely different. he sat on the edge of his bed for about twenty minutes. he knew this was coming- but his loss-of-memories self had not anticipated... all of this. he fumbled the phone in his hands for ten of those twenty, and then got up to pace some. and then meditated, and then swung his lightsaber around a bit- more than swung, actually practiced with it. he felt like himself again. and then ben picked up the phone.“hey, dad-,” he could have paused, but it seemed unnecessary. “hi. i woke up and feel like myself again.” he could have waited for his father to respond. “not as in, i’m in a good mood. it’s ben, ben. i know who i am.” he could have taken a longer pause, or a deeper breath, but that seemed unnecessary too. but no, he needed to say his first, “look, before you say anything-,” he wanted to apologize about a million times over. he wanted to admit how confusing all of this was to him. he wanted to tell him about that trial- the force vision of having to kill his father, and then stumbling upon him soon after. ben finally exhaled, because he would have to deal with that too. and he wanted to remind himself that he would have time but- time was never guaranteed. he’d start, instead, with what felt important in that moment. “i just- i wanted to tell you first-, because, honestly sometimes it’s like we speak on slightly off comm channel frequencies. and a lot of that’s my fault but- things can be different now.”
