#intergenerational confusion

[marrinikari]

Mom, via text: Ugh your texts don’t show on my iPhone

Me, after looking through texts: I don’t see anything, did I text you?

Mom: No, the one about the train.

Me: ...that was a Hangout. Should I be texting? I don’t default to it, you’ve got three mobile numbers.

Mom: Well it’s hard enough to get you to respond without having so many channels!

Me: THREE. MOBILE. NUMBERS.

[marrinikari]

Mom: You never bring your husband when you travel! Don't you miss him?

Me: Of course, but like. Week long work trip for training. He's not exactly invited, and he has his own work.

Her: Well sure, but what about San Diego?

Me: You mean, to the bachelorette party?

Her: Yes?

Me: ...no. No, he is not invited to the bachelorette party.

[marrinikari]

Mom: Are Anu and Will living together?

Me: No, just dating. Anu lives with Jared.

Mom: Oh, so this is a different Anu?

Me: No, same Anu, she and Jared are just roommates.

Mom: Oh, okay. *puts "Anu's boyfriend" next to Jared*

Me: What did I JUST SAY

[marrinikari]

Grandmother: And they live in this lovely former SRO!

Dad: What's an SRO?

Mom: Single Room Occupancy. Low income housing. You know, for people who didn't go to private school.

Dad: But why wouldn't they?

[marrinikari]

Sent my grandmother a picture of me with my hair and makeup all done up and her response was that I “look very nice but were the hair extensions really necessary?” Which would make much more sense if I hadn’t inherited my entirely non-extensioned hair from her.

[marrinikari]

Me: Heeeelp I'm stressing about picking bridesmaids

Mom: Well, the obvious way to pick is: who do you call when you're upset?

Me: MY FIANCE

[marrinikari]

Yes, this chat conversation happened as written, word for word. Seriously? Is the woman a teenager?

Me:  okay I will let you know Mom:  Um, when? If I am going to make dinner plans with anyone it would be nice to give them a little notice Me:  okay I am still watching the movie. just go ahead and make plans. Mom:  So sorry to disturb you. Me:  it's okay, my fault for not getting back to you, just can't plan things right now and I don't want to leave you hanging Mom:  Honestly that was sarcastic Me:  Sorry   Mom:  Whatever. 

[marrinikari]

My mother just sent me a picture of my father behind bars captioned “Daddy was bad”

Okay I realize this is a joke because he’s smiling in the picture and also this is not what you do if he is in fact in prison but DETAILS IMMEDIATELY PLEASE, WHAT

(because I am not my mother and provide details, he was on the set of the show Elementary and as suspected nothing is wrong)