I met you online and that’s somehow worse,
Because now I can’t tell if it’s fate or a curse.
I didn’t plan on liking you, please note,
This was not on my vision board, goals, or horoscope.
My day starts with you. Not coffee. Not prayer.
Just checking if you texted, like that’s self-care.
I say I’m fine, but that’s clearly a lie,
Because my last goodnight is always you, hi.
My friends get excited. They know your name.
Everyone IRL knows you exist in my brain.
They nudge me and grin when my phone lights up,
Like, “Oh look, there it is,” yeah, rub it in, love.
This crush on you? Yeah, medical mystery.
Symptoms include: zero focus, lost dignity.
I forget why I walked into rooms I don’t need,
Autocorrect knows your name more than me.
Late-night calls where the world feels small,
Random texts that mean nothing at all
And everything, somehow, at the same time,
Like “did you eat?” and “this song is mine.”
I heard somewhere, purely scientific lore,
That kissing brown eyes reduces anxiety scores.
Elongates lifespan. Improves the soul.
I mean, it’s just a suggestion. A goal.
You know my moods like the back of your hand,
Which is alarming, please understand.
You’ve never met me. Not once. Not ever.
Yet you read me better than most people here.
Which is wild, because you’ve never even met me.
You don’t know my walk or how I drink my tea.
But somehow you know when I’m quiet on purpose,
When I’m joking too much, when my laugh feels nervous.
My friends say, “Be careful, you’re doing the most.”
But I’m already gone, emotionally toast.
I overshare thoughts I should probably gatekeep,
And you read me so well it disrupts my sleep.
And sure, you’re pixels. Wi-Fi and text.
But explain why my heart feels personally hexed.
Explain why a “lol” can ruin my day,
Or why your typing dots make my thoughts go away.
I’m quiet, I swear. I don’t talk this much.
But you unlock thoughts I can’t even touch.
One word from you and my tone rearranges,
My entire personality just completely changes.
I am not built for this level of feeling.
I am not trusted with thoughts this revealing.
Liking you did something irreversible, truly.
My brain is gone. My heart said, “Excuse me?”
And sure, you’re a screen and a voice at night,
But you feel like a habit I don’t want to fight.
So if this is stupid, or reckless, or wrong,
Then why does it feel like where I belong?
I don’t know what this is. I won’t name it yet.
But everyone knows, and I haven’t met
Anyone who makes my days start and end
With a smile like this…
so yeah.
That’s it.
