The Autistic Social Battery
Last night I had a couple friends over at my place for dinner. The group was a total of four including my partner and myself. I haven't had a get together since before the pandemic, almost two years. It was enjoyable but also a sensory overload. This is also the first time I have had a get together since being diagnosed autistic.
Being able to describe why I have such a difficult time with social situations is like finding the key to long lost treasure. To be able to understand why I start to feel like shit during social situations is the equivalent of Ford puting the babel fish in Arthur's ear so he can understand the aliens speak. (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference)
I have spent 30+ years not understanding my own body's reactions to the world around me. I'm so thankful to know why I feel hungover today without having ingested anything last night but too much sugar. I am also thankful to have an understanding partner and friends.
As an autistic, I do enjoy socializing from time to time. Do I need extensive down time? Absolutely. My social battery is not the typical kind. It gets depleted from more than talking too much.
The lighting becomes too bright.
The discussions and surrounding noise becomes too loud.
Audio processing disorder
Masking ( It took me awhile to figure out why my face was sore, from all the expressions I was making.)
Not being able to stim and fidget as much as I would like.
Making eye contact
Being perceived, eye contact at me.
Keeping up with topic after topic of discussion. As in processing what was said on top of everything else that was going on.
The chair and my clothing feeling uncomfortable after sitting for so long.
There is probably more I am not even realizing.
At the end of the evening my friend asked if my social battery is low. I said "yes sensory and social." That's the thing allistic's need to understand. The autistic social battery isn't one battery. It's multiple that are interconnected and are depleted by a variety of input. Depletion isn't necessarily shown in the traditional sense either and can last for an extended period of time. Also, feeling the effects of a low social/interaction battery can take time when someone like myself has issues with interoception.
Though writing about my own experience helps me process my feelings, I hope this helps anyone looking for the words in their own quest to describe their experience. Especially anyone who needs accommodations.