Ooooh! Interesting…..Alright so there’s definitely some great possibilities there for these two types to have a strong, vibrant, satisfying relationship…and on the flipside there’s the chance they could tick each other off to a degree they didn’t realise was humanly possible.
Both types use Exploration (Ne) as their primary learning function, which means the ENFP is one of the best people possible to draw INTP’s out of their quieter side and into their quirky, extroverted side. And the ENFP would be satisfied and excited by the INTP’s ability to keep up with him/her. Both types have a strong love of the new, of the different and the theoretical, and both types process this heavy stream of new data and ideas through an introspective judging function.
However, this is where it gets interesting. Because while the INTP’s dom Ti function would encourage the ENFP to slow down and go into their introverted aux Fi, the different flavours of Fi vs Ti could very easily create dissonance and miscommunication between the pair.
If you haven’t already checked them out, I encourage you to have a look at two of my recent posts: exploring the Fi and Ti functions respectively. (I’ll link them down below in case you missed them).
But anyway, what I talk about in them is the many similarities between these two functions: the need to make decisions based on what is in alignment with the individual’s core beliefs/assertions, both functions’ obsession with internally categorising data/emotions in an intricate mind map of ever growing specificity etc. But while the two functions may have the same process for how to come to a decision, their starting point is always going to be very different.And if the ENFP and INTP are not AWARE of this potential pressure point, it can look like the ENFP getting quite offended by things the INTP says or does, and the INTP feeling frustrated at the perceived irrationality of the ENFP.
Depending on the maturity level of the ENFP, other potential pressure points are the INTP feeling put off by the ENFP’s “lack of roots” (in other words, no consistency), which comes from their tendency to skip over their Fi altogether and make quick-fire decisions that don’t actually align with their inner values or desires based on their Te function.
From the ENFP’s perspective, depending on the maturity level of the INTP, they could be overly aggressive when their arguments/assertions about reality are challenged, particularly if the INTP has not properly developed their second function and is relying on their tertiary Memory (Si) function to feed their Ti information. The ENFP could easily see an INTP in a Ti-Si loop as pig-headed, close-minded and inflexible.
Now, what does the INTP’s inferior Fe function bring into the picture? Under high stress, this function feeds the INTP with a running commentary on what the relationship should look like, what the ENFP should be doing, all of the things that the INTP has perceived is out of order in their relationship. It can also be a sudden, overwhelming stream of needs - physical as well as emotional - that the INTP requires to be met by the ENFP.
My diagnosis for this pairing? Communication is key! Due to the nature of Fi and Ti, being able to understand the different angle each come from when analysing/judging a situation, goes a long way in minimising disconnect and dysfunction. Nothing relieves the Fi function more than knowing the true intent of a person. The majority of relational issues with an Fi user can be fixed by giving them insight into your intent. So, for instance in the case of the ENFP/INTP pairing, having the ENFP understand the Ti function comes from a place of self-betterment and wanting to be constantly improving oneself and the people they care about (much like the Fi function), the ENFP would see the INTP’s “unnecessary critisism” and “nit-picking my argument” coming from them caring deeply about the ENFP, and wanting to encourage the ENFP to be the best version of themself they can possibly be.
Explaining Ti in those terms helps the ENFP to see the value in the INTP’s Ti function, rather than only paying attention to how it makes them feel.
And when it comes to the ENFP’s flightiness, an INTP recognising this as an area of the ENFP that might require self-development, (just like they might recognise their need to allow for new arguments and possibilities, rather than just making a decision and sticking to it) they can accept the more negative sides of Ne along with the positive sides with a little more grace and understanding.
ENFP’s and INTP’s can have so much fun together, and challenge each other in really profound ways, they just need to recognise and appreciate the differences, rather than give in to pettiness and miscommunication.
