#intrasystem

[aita-systemized]

AITA for not liking being in a 'system'?

For context, I'm a fictive and that's incredibly disorienting in the first place as I have source memories and feel as though I was sort of ripped from that world.

Specifically, I'm a Bruce Wayne fictive and it actually drives me crazy that nobody sees me as Bruce Wayne, the character, because I *am* him. I have lived those experiences, I remember them, but now I'm being told they're fake and it's disturbing to say the least. I've been in situations like this in source where my life wasn't real, but then I look in the mirror and I'm absolutely shaken up, which takes a LOT to do to me.

This isn't me. I don't like it any bit — not having my children and all the cases I never finished. My knowledge restricted. Not being in control of myself all the time. I don't like this at all. I've been told by others in this system that you get used to it, especially people from my source, but I don't think it's going to happen.

I don't know how else to explain that this isn't me, but I feel like an asshole for being so pessimistic about this experience. So, AITA?

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onNov 13, 2023

[aita-systemized]

Am I the asshole for purposely avoiding fronting or coming out to force the others to deal with it? The first split was when we were still in primary school. At that point, out of all of the three of us I was the only one still functional enough to host and do the daily work, like an ANP I think? But the thing was, I just didn't want to. I knew the two of them wouldn't be able to function properly without me, but I was just so exhausted from having to worry about them and having to handle everything by myself. I know you aren't meant to abandon people when they need help the most, but they were like children and I could not bring myself to deal with the most basic things they should be able to do. So I faked my own dormancy or something? I'm not sure, until I kind of just fell asleep for a while. I normally fronted to take care of school matters, so you can tell our grades dropped and the most sensitive one, who is now the host, kept on tolerating the verbal and emotional abuse throughout our school years. I was aware of it, but I just was too tired to deal with the or the outer world. So skip to the second year of secondary school. The host discovers the second alter of the very first split. Hurrah. She then finds out that we are a system. However, I purposely tried to remain hidden and never show up, or affect/change the most minimal things so they wouldn't find out about me. Because I didn't feel like dealing with them. I only revealed myself after the 6th one showed up, and even then, I wouldn't help at all with our depressive spirals and when someone desperately needed to switch out. You could say its purely laziness, but I just couldn't bring myself to because of all the bad memories. Sorry if this is incoherent, I haven't fronted in a while, and I doubt I'll even come back to see this.

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onJul 30, 2023

[aita-systemized]

I used to be a caretaker and went dormant for a long, long time. Now that I’m back, the niche I used to fill isn’t really relevant anymore, so I’m kind of just. here. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of the issues we had at the time that everyone else for the most part has developed coping skills for, namely that I have a crushing fear of failure and a huge complex about needing to be very smart all the time. One of the other alters in my system, we’ll call kim K, was playing a game series before I came back from the supposed dead, and he failed to figure out a plot twist that our friends had hinted at before starting the game. When I took over playing, I guessed the plot twist close to the end when the twist was nearby, and my friends said they were surprised I hadn’t guessed it based only on the clues they had left, because I’m “usually quicker than that”. I got very mad at K for making me look stupid even though he couldn’t have known I would even exist to BE upset about it. I lashed out very aggressively and kept calling him an idiot and poked at some of his issues in a cruel way, and now everyone’s treating me with kid gloves, which just pisses me off more. They’re worried that, since the niche I used to fill isn’t relevant anymore, if I don’t figure out how to cope soon that I’ll start acting like a persecutor, but I feel like I was just lashing out from a normal response to our trauma that they never ACTUALLY fixed. I know I went a little too far, but I don’t think acting out ONCE is all that damning! I still have a bit of a grudge against K, but I back down if he tells me to knock it off. I know I’m an asshole, but was I really enough of an asshole to constitute being treated like this?

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onJul 21, 2023

[aita-systemized]

Hi. I'm having a little bit of a system issue between me (host) and my best friend, one of our co-hosts. I'll refer to my friend as J. We are from the same source, and our sources had a one-sided friendship. I was a bit of an asshole, and I hurt him a lot back then.

For some extra context, both of us are subsystems. One of his parts hates me, and one of my parts hates him. It's hard to tell the difference between parts unless they make it obvious, and J's parts tend to look a lot like him and sound like him. We believe it was an alter in J's subsystem that argued, based on the fact that J only vaguely remembers it, but there's no way to check now.

So, though we aren't diagnosed with much, we fit the diagnostic criteria for depression, ADHD... I'll cut it short and just say that it all is a lot on our system generally. We have issues with self-care and such. Sometimes we struggle to even move.

J is one of the few alters who can just... Resist executive dysfunction. He's extroverted, friendly, and generally he doesn't feel a lot of obvious symptoms of our disorders (he still gets some.)

One time, I was in front, in our bed. I felt shitty and angry at myself because I needed to shower but couldn't get myself to do so. I don't remember much of it, but J starts telling me to get up and such, and that I need to stop being such a lazy... Pig, I believe were his words? I eventually started trying to argue back, saying something along the lines of "Shut up, you don't understand how it feels." and it escalated to getting our sources involved, I think? I don't remember what was said...

At one point, another Co-host, M, got so annoyed at our shouting that he screamed at us to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" And we did. He then, despite being the apathy holder who wasn't even part of the argument, had to act as a mediator. M explained to J that we have depression, and just because he doesn't experience all the symptoms doesn't mean they don't exist. M then also had to explain to me that I still should try to take a bit more care of the body. J tried to restart the argument, saying "Yeah, [name]!" In a childish, mocking manner. M made us agree to stop arguing for the sake of keeping internal balance again, and since then, there's just been a tension between me and J sometimes.

I don't know if I'm the asshole or not. I know it should be obvious, but I feel like I shouldn't have initiated the argument, and I can't tell if J is the asshole because he started it, or if he isn't because he might've not had much control over the situation.

So, AITA? Is anyone?

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onJul 21, 2023