#introspective.txt

[introspectivememories]

been thinking about honorifics in other languages and ive come to the conclusion that i absolutely adore them. like yes i know, when taken too seriously can lead to a very strict social heirarchy but to me there's something so sweet in calling other people "older sister" or "older brother" or calling someone your "younger brother/sister". in my language, malayalam, it's totally normal to call any man/woman around 3-20 years older than you "ചേച്ചി" (chechi - older sister) or "ചേട്ട" (chetta - older brother) and i like it so much! to me, when they call me that, it's not just them paying their respects, it's also a reminder to me that i have a responsibility towards them. and it also makes me so happy when someone calls me chechi!! like, u look up to me???? you thought i would look after to you???? you thought i would take care of you like a younger sibling??? yes, yes, yes!!! ofc i will!!! come here, chechi will take care of you~

[introspectivememories]

I think New Rome has the most beautiful and lavish weddings.

oooh i can see that so much!!! i think your entire cohort comes to the wedding and it's a huuuuge celebration at juno's temple. and ofc, bc i cannot do anything without making it about jason grace, jason is 100% there for all weddings to do the blessing. i think jason cries at every single one and everyone in the legion knows and makes fun of him for it. "why is praetor grace crying?" / "oh he had to bless chiara and antoine's wedding this morning" wedding season is hell on jason. he's drinking 7L a day to keep up with how much he's crying lol.

also bc ppl are from everywhere, they have one big building that they switch up depending on the religious person's needs. once jason becomes pontifex maximus, aka new rome pope, he oversees everyone's religious needs. like "oh anjali needs a hindu temple bc tmrw is hanuman jayanti? okay how can we get her that" and so on and so forth. and bc ppl are from everywhere, i think new rome is really free about practicing religion. i think it's super common for someone to attend a buddhist temple service one day with a friends and then turn around the next day and go to mass. all while still believing in the gods.

[introspectivememories]

sorry terminal f1 blorbofication is happening and i cant stop thinking of logan sargeant rn. what if u trained ur whole life for something and u weren't even good at it? what if u poured your blood, sweat, and tears into this ome thing and u still came up short every time? what if u were good at the beginning but u sucked at the real thing? what if u choked at the finish line? what if u could've been good with support but nobody ever gave you the time of day? what if your replacement is better than you? what if u spend so long blaming everybody but yourself and then it turns out that it was you all along? what if ur childhood friend was good at it? better than you even? what if after you've choked, and after you've failed, everyone tells you that it might be for the best and that maybe you could be good at other things never mind the fact that this was the thing you trained for and this was thing you were supposed to be good at and this was the thing you so desperately. wanted to be good at and- huh? what was that? oh im projecting? hm. i see.

[introspectivememories]

wait idk if i ever shared this but look!!! look at the cross stitch u finished in september 2024!! the pattern is carina nebula by climbinggoatpatterns

[introspectivememories]

the lion does not concern herself with failing the first exam of her calculus class

[introspectivememories]

if you are raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house.

[introspectivememories]

sir, a second blowjob has hit bill clinton

[introspectivememories]

i must not give into nostalgia. nostalgia is the mind-killer. nostalgia is the little death that brings total obliteration. i will face my nostalgia i will permit it to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past, i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the nostalgia gone, there will be nothing. only i will remain.