i constantly fear that one day when i’m home alone a human canvas, fully painted to blend in to my house, will be there

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i constantly fear that one day when i’m home alone a human canvas, fully painted to blend in to my house, will be there
This is why i sometime want to fucking eat and rip apaet a fucking human being
my boyfriends dog is getting put down tomorrow. my ex boyfriends dog was put down when we were together. my other ex boyfriends cat died while we were together. my other other exes hamster died while we were together.
i have accepted that i am the angel of death. i kill everything i love, holy fucking shit.