Bittersweet.
It's going to be weird not kissing him, holding his hand, laughing with him, staring at each other, but I'm okay, I'm over it. It was weird, breaking up, he kept trying to reach for my arm and I kept backing up. Weird is the only word I can use to describe this. The only sentence I could manage to get out was "Good, this is good." I got in my car and I watched him walk back into the school from my rearview, I looked at the steering wheel and just bawled my eyes out. Got home, moped around, called Kacie and all I got was "WHAT. ILL BE RIGHT THERE." then I called Morgan, appearently her and Peter had known all day.. bummer. Got up out of bed, looked in the mirror and said "Ew I'm ugly right now." Wiped off my face and redid my makeup and laughed, blasted Taylor Swift and went out to get ice cream. No, it was never love, I never loved him. Although, I wanted to give him everything. Looking back on it, I laugh because honestly, I just wanted to lose my virginity before college.. whoops? I had a lot of fun with Nick, honestly. He was a great guy and feelings can fall through, and that's okay. I'm not mad. I did feel stupid earlier, like what did I do that made him just quit? I'll never know.. and as someone said to me while we were dating:
"Well, you know, no girl will ever be good enough for Nick."