Iris | ch 7 (jjk)
☆summary: when you move to Seoul to do some research on your upcoming book, your life gets tangled with the city's celebrity scene. It leads to you crossing paths with Jeon Jungkook, whose confusing behaviour convinces you that he hates you. Only, you might have misread his intentions from the beginning...
☆pairings: drummer!Jungkook x writer!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter has mature content)
☆genre: enemies (annoyances?) to lovers!au, celebrity!au, rockstar!au, smut, angst (make it dramatic), fluff
☆warnings: cursing, a dreaded conversation about sara, saesangs, explicit content: jerking off, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral sex (female receiving)
☆word count: 10.1k
☆a/n: this chapter is fun mmmkay bye <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for being my perfect beta reader again, you are the best and i'm forever thankful for you <3
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
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And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls
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Sunday, July 20th
You wake up feeling too warm. Which is weird, as your AC is always cranked up and you move a lot in your sleep, which leads you to wake up with the blankets on the floor half of the time. But you’re warm, way too warm right now, and you frown, cracking an eye open.
Some honey skin welcomes you, and your eyes widen as you look up, only to see Jungkook’s serene face as he sleeps next to you. Just for good measure, he breathes in deeply, and it rattles in his chest in a snore louder than you expected, which you reckon might have been what woke you up in the first place.
Last night comes back to your mind – the concert, the bar, Mingyu’s words. The ride to Jungkook’s place, and the food he cooked. The tour of his house…
But mostly, what happened in his studio downstairs. The orgasm he pulled out of you, making you so high you think you still feel some of it lingering this morning. Or maybe what lingers is just the quickening of your heartbeat as you realize that Jungkook held you through the night.
Indeed, his arm is still wrapped around you, and he tightens his hold for a second before loosening it again with a sigh. The weight of his arm must have been what kept you from moving during the night, because you’re still in the same position you fell asleep in, Jungkook’s soft sheets covering your frame.
Jungkook snores again, and it almost sounds like he’s choking. You look up, slightly alarmed, to see that he’s frowning and, unable to resist, you reach up, gently tracing the line between his eyebrows. He immediately relaxes, his features softening, and his arm tightens around you again.
He doesn’t wake up though, his lips slightly parting as he keeps breathing deeply, his snores softer now. You glance around, but from this position you can’t really see much of Jungkook’s room besides the drawn curtains behind him that allow just a sliver of sunlight to peek through. It looks like it’s late, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you slept in considering how late you ended up going to bed yesterday.
It’s not like you have anywhere to be today. You’re allowing yourself a day off before you’ll start working on editing again. After all, the editor asked you to rewrite the entire first chapter of your book so that it starts in a more eventful scene to get the reader involved from the get-go. But you’ve been pushing that back, not feeling like rewriting something that, in your opinion, worked well with your book.
But you know the editor is right. The beginning would most likely fit a romance book more than an action one, even if the romance aspect is very present in your book.
Still, you’re off today, and so you shut your eyes, cuddling closer to Jungkook. His arm immediately tightens around you again, and you can’t help the smile that curls your lips at the feeling.
You had sex with Jeon Jungkook. With a man you’d only ever dreamed of when you were younger, and now you’re lying in his bed, in his arms, and he doesn’t seem like he’s going to let you go anytime soon. It fills your chest with warmth akin to that of a summer sunrise, and you doubt it’ll allow you to fall back asleep.
You’re too excited, too energized to succumb to sleep once more, but you also don’t want to get up. No, this morning, you’re right where you want to be, and you won’t be the one to end the moment.
So you just breathe in Jungkook’s arms as he keeps on sleeping, your entire body buzzing with gentle energy that makes you excited for the day to come.
Is Jungkook going to be soft with you today like he was after you had sex? Getting you cleaned up, helping you in the shower…
Jeon Jungkook is good at aftercare.
You sigh dreamily, though Mingyu’s words choose this moment to cross your mind again, and it’s like an April shower just hit you right in the face, chasing away the warmth of that summer morning sun.
Jungkook is not over his ex. At least you doubt he is if he’s still watching her stream, and you don’t know where that puts you.
Are you halfway to getting your heart broken already?
You really hope you aren’t. Because you know what happened last night changed you, and you’re barely over your last heartbreak anyway. Which, maybe you should cut Jungkook some slack.
Josh still crosses your mind once in a while, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t check his socials at least once a week still.
You take a deep breath, Jungkook’s clean smell surrounding you, and you feel the April rain coming to a stop, the summer sun slowly returning. It’s easy – he shifts on his back, pulling you with him, and your head lands on his chest.
It’s comfortable, cosy, and the rhythmic beating of his heart is a melody you’d like to get used to as it gently drums away in your ear.
You lay your hand on Jungkook’s stomach, his soft skin warm under your palm, and you trace a circle where your fingers lie, Jungkook’s breathing hitching just enough to tell you he might not be asleep anymore.
But he doesn’t say anything, so neither do you. You just bask in his proximity, enjoying it like you’re the moon under the sun, shining in his glow. And it does feel like it, on this Sunday morning.
You do feel like the moon in Jungkook’s orbit.
Jungkook sighs, and you trace another circle on his stomach, this one a little larger. It reaches to his lower stomach, and his breath hitches in his throat again, like he almost choked on it.
“Good morning,” he rasps, his voice still groggy with sleep.
It’s deep and husky, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it infinitely arousing, too.
“Morning,” you echo, tracing an idle line from his lower stomach to right below his navel.
He sucks in another breath as you go back down, reaching just a little lower again.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks, his accent thicker than it usually is.
Like he’s too lazy to keep it in check, and it’s attractive in its own way.
This is Jungkook in his natural habitat.
“Yeah,” you reply, and you lay your hand flat on his lower stomach. His heart quickens in his chest, and you can’t help the smile that grows on your lips at his physiological response to your touch.
You have a bigger effect on him than you initially thought you did. Who cares about his ex anyway?
“You?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.
You feel him move, and you look up to see him nodding. “Slept like a rock. Did I snore a lot?”
“A little,” you say.
He sighs. “Sorry about that. I tried to sleep on my side because I know I snore less like that.”
You don’t reply to that, his sentence not really asking for a reply anyway. Instead, you go back to tracing idle lines on his stomach, and Jungkook chuckles.
“What?” you ask.
“Nothing.”
You narrow your gaze, looking up at him again. From this angle, you can’t see his features, but you get the feeling that he’s smiling at himself.
“Mmh,” you let out.
There are a few heartbeats of silence, and then he says, “Last night was incredible.”
“It really was.” Your voice is small, dare you even say shy, and you feel your cheeks burning as he looks down at you.
His big eyes are still puffy with sleep, yet they shine with an inner light that makes your shyness evaporate like dew in the morning, and you can’t help but mirror the smile.
“And you’re still here this morning,” he whispers.
“Well, you’ve kind of been holding me, so I couldn’t really leave.”
You say the words teasingly, but he raises his eyebrows apologetically. “Oh,” he lets out. “I’m sorry.”
You tap the spot where your hand is resting. “Don’t be, I’m teasing,”
He narrows his gaze at you like he’s annoyed, but it melts quickly as you chuckle, replaced by that same warmth that makes his gaze sparkle from within. And then he leans forward, pressing the softest kiss on your lips before laying his head on the pillow again.
The sun is back in its full shine, its gravity stronger than anything you could resist. So, once more, you trace a line on his lower stomach, but this time you go lower, just barely grazing the tip of his dick. He hisses, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and his tongue darts out to play with his piercings.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Mmh.” You look down, though he’s covered with the blanket right now. “Nothing.”
“Mmh,” he echoes. “Right.”
You do it again, repeating the same trajectory you took a second ago, though this time you make sure to trace the side of his shaft, and his dick slightly twitches.
You take a deep breath, teeth pulling at your lower lip as you trace along his dick, before returning to his stomach. “You’re hard,” you state.
“Of course, I am,” he replies with that same dark, husky tone. “You’re in my bed.”
Those few words are enough to ignite a fire in you again, fiery passion catching like dead grass struck by lightning, and you look up to meet his gaze again. His doe eyes are dark, gauging you, and you move back down to his dick, gently grabbing his base.
“You like morning sex?” you ask.
He wets his lips. “I like sex with you.”
You roll your eyes, but you still stroke him slowly, up and down, his dick feeling heavy in your hand.
“You do?”
He nods. “It didn’t seem like I did last night?”
You make a show of thinking about it, lips jutting out in a small pensive pout, and then you say, “I don’t think I remember.”
“Must have fucked you too good,” he says. “You could barely walk after.”
You thought you’d feel embarrassed at the reminder, but it only makes the fire swell in you, your core burning for a touch of him.
“I want you,” you breathe out.
You’d meant to tease some more, but the plea came from the depths of your chest, crawling its way out as your heart started beating hard at Jungkook’s words.
“Oh, baby,” he whispers. “I’ve got you.”
He does. He makes you lay down on your back, turning on his side, and though you let go of his dick as you move, he doesn’t seem to mind. No, he’s too busy sliding a hand between your legs, and you spread them wide open for him to get access to where you want him the most.
His fingers ghost on your clit, and you make a strained sound as he doesn’t offer you any pressure. Instead, he goes lower, circling your entrance as he gives you a quick peck on the shoulder. It’s a sweet gesture, much sweeter than the words that follow.
“You’re already so fucking wet for me,” he says.
The walls of your pussy clench at his crude words, and you blindly reach for his dick, finding the base again.
“Jungkook,” you murmur.
He presses another sweet kiss on your shoulder. “I know, baby.”
And then he pushes a finger all the way in, your walls sucking him in. You’re so wet you offer barely no resistance, and the feeling of his digit inside of you makes you shut your eyes, a frown taking over your features at the pleasurable intrusion.
“So wet,” he praises.
He slowly pulls his finger out before pushing in again.
“So, so wet.”
And then he starts fingering you faster, moving in and out in a slow rhythm that would drive you crazy if he wasn’t curling his finger on the way out, dragging on your inner walls. He hits your g-spot as he does so, and you moan at the feeling as pleasure strikes you like lightning, even though he’s barely even started touching you.
But the way he touches you… you don’t think you’ve ever been touched like that before. There’s something so intent, so purposeful, with every stroke of Jungkook’s finger in you, and it slowly makes you unravel, your moans growing louder and breathier as he keeps fingering you.
You jerk him off as he touches you, though you doubt you’re as talented as he is. You feel clumsy, mostly because your entire body is zoned in on his hand between your thighs, and you can’t focus.
He’s emptied your mind with just a few touches of his finger, and you think he’ll really make you go insane one day. And that day might be closer than you think it is as he pushes a second finger in. Your walls clench on his digits hard, and you moan his name.
“Fuck,” he curses. “It’s so hot when you say my name like that.”
You mean to say it again, but he starts fucking you with his fingers so hard that you lose track of what words are – they’re replaced with infinite desire, and a passion so hot it burns through your body, making every inch of you tingle.
You could cry. It’s so good you could cry, and it’s no surprise when your orgasm hits you out of nowhere, pushing you over the edge of a cliff so high you barely register the indecent squelching sounds that erupt from between your legs as Jungkook keeps going.
And going. It’s only when you come for the third time that you realize he’s figured out how to make you squirt like it was nothing.
“Jungkook,” you beg.
He slows down his rhythm, pressing a kiss to your shoulder again. “Mmh?”
“I came.”
He chuckles. “I know, baby.”
You laugh. You don’t know why you do, but you feel so good, so immensely complete right now that the laugh bursts out on its own.
“Wow.” You try to open your eyes, but you’re dizzy, so all you do is to start jerking him off again, though your arm feels like jelly.
“You like when I make you come, huh?” Jungkook asks, and his teeth tease the skin of your shoulder.
“You’re so crass.”
He laughs, and then his fingers are leaving you empty, and he’s rolling on top of you. “You like it.”
You do. You really fucking do, especially as he pushes his hips into yours, his dick spearing you wide open. You moan, hands going to his back as he leans down, his arms on the two sides of your head.
But he doesn’t move. He just stays there, deep inside of you, until you meet his gaze.
“Hey there,” he whispers, his gaze shining.
It does something to your heart, squeezing it so gently you wonder if you’ll ever be able to let him go, and you whisper back, “Hey.”
“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” he asks, and he slowly pulls out, before rocking his hips into yours again.
You let out a breathy sound at the motion. “Jungkook…”
“Could just watch you all day,” he adds, and he fucks you once. “You’re so fucking pretty.”
You’re going to fall for him. Hell, you think you’ve already started falling for him, and you reckon you’re a fool. You’ve always been one to catch feelings easily, and you know you won’t leave this place unscathed. Yet, you let the feelings wrap around your heart, let them quicken its pace. Let them curl your lips up in a soft smile that Jungkook looks at with awe. Let them make you snake your arms around his waist so that you can hold him close.
You’ll face the consequences later.
“Thank you,” you whisper back.
You’re thanking him for more than just the compliments. You’re thanking him for everything – for the reverence in his eyes, and the light flush to his cheeks. For the way he presses a gentle kiss on your forehead, and then the way he starts gently moving his hips, back and forth, in a slow rhythm that makes you keenly aware of every movement of his dick inside of you.
You go oversensitive, especially as he holds the eye contact through it all, never once accelerating his rhythm. At some point, he just stops to rest his forehead on yours for a few heartbeats, and then he lies down next to you, pulling your back against his chest.
And then he slowly fucks you from behind too, his arm wrapping around your waist to hold you close to him. You hold onto his forearm, eyes fluttering shut so you can focus on the sensations, and Jungkook chases his high in at a slow pace you would find infuriating if it didn’t feel so… right.
Because this feels right. This feels like you’ve found your place in the world.
When Jungkook finally reaches his high what simultaneously feels like an eternity later and no time at all, he just stays there, dick softening inside of you, arm still wrapped around your waist. His forehead is pressed against the back of your head, and you’re sure it has to tickle with your hair, but he doesn’t complain, doesn’t move.
He, too, seems enraptured by the moment.
*****
Jungkook can’t get enough of looking at you. He doesn’t know which stars he has to thank for you deciding to stay this morning, this afternoon, but fuck, he’s just been seeing you in a different light this whole time, and he really can’t get enough of it.
Maybe it’s because you’re wearing an oversized t-shirt of his instead of your clothes from yesterday. Or maybe it’s the way your cheeks dust with pink whenever you catch him looking for a little longer than necessary
Or maybe it’s the fact that he knows he’s already addicted to being with you like he was this morning, and he’ll never get enough of it.
You’re a drug. One he’ll never get enough of, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try to keep you close forever.
“I love it,” you say as you take off his headset, putting it back on the desk. “You should definitely release it.”
He grins, unable to help himself. But it’s a little shy, and he laughs, looking down at the floor. “Nah, I don’t plan on releasing any solo songs for now.” He runs a hand through his hair before meeting your gaze again. “Besides, there isn’t even any drum beat in the song. That’s not what my fans want.”
You give him a no-bullshit look that makes him want to apologize.
“Jungkook,” you scold, and he winces internally at the tone of your voice. “People, regardless if they are fans or not, would love this.”
His heartbeat quickens. “You think?”
“Honestly, you have a beautiful voice,” you praise. “I’m surprised you don’t sing more often.”
“It’s hard to sing and play the drums at the same time,” he explains. “And singing is too technical for me.”
You cock an eyebrow. “Isn’t playing the drum very technical too?”
“Well…” he trails, shrugging his shoulders weakly. “Maybe?”
You laugh, and you pat his thigh. “Anyway, trust me, this is a really good song. I don’t think you could fit a beat in there.”
Indeed, it’s just a short love song he wrote years ago, when he’d originally met Sara. He didn’t plan to ever record it, but he was playing with the guitars the other day and the melody just came to his mind, and the only lyrics he found that could work with it were those of that love song.
“And,” you add. “You’ve released a solo album before your military service, haven't you?”
He nods.
“It was really popular, no?”
It was. But it was pushed by the company, and he wasn’t involved in the writing of any of the songs. It was very pop too, and he doesn’t think he’s got the voice for pop music like that. He’s always preferred ballads when it comes to singing.
“Yeah,” he says, chuckling. “But it didn’t feel like me.”
Your features soften, your lips jutting out in a small pout. “Well,” you let out, motioning to the monitor behind you. “This does feel like you. I love it.”
His throat goes dry, and he holds your gaze for a few seconds, unable to speak.
There’s something too beautiful in the fact that you can recognize him in a song, even if you haven’t known each other for a while. Like you, too, are feeling what he is. That feeling of rightness and peace that’s been clinging to him since he woke up this morning.
Being with you feels natural. It feels easy, and that’s what the song is all about. Hell, looking back, he doesn’t think he really wrote it about Sara at all.
It was always meant to be about you. Sara was never peace. Sara was the excitement of young love, something you experience vividly for a short time, but that fades quickly. They just got caught up in the habit of being together, and it took them too long to figure out they weren’t meant to be together.
But young love dies hard, and he thinks a tiny part of himself will always look out for her, if only because he loved her so much once.
Looking at you, it’s hard to remember he ever loved her, though.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
You smile, the gentlest curve to your lips that sets your eyes alight with what seems like all the light in the universe. “No problem.”
He wants to kiss you. Hell, he needs to kiss you, and it occurs to him that he just can. That he doesn’t need to hold back when it comes to you.
He leans in, hand reaching up to cup your cheek. You melt in his touch, your head tilting to the side, and he stops when he’s just a few inches away from you, just to take you in. To watch the way your lips slightly part, your eyes looking down at his mouth and fuck, he’s gone.
He’s a goner for you.
He kisses you then, the pillowy plumpness of your lips feeling like the softest feather. Your eyes flutter shut in time with his, and his heart beats harder in his chest, like it’s trying to escape its cage to reach for you. It’s a short kiss, yet he feels undone when he pulls away.
It doesn’t make sense. How you can make him feel so much in such a short amount of time. All of his friends would tell him to calm down and take it one day at a time, but it’s too late.
He’d crawl on the floor for you if that’s what you wanted him to do.
“Jungkook,” you whisper, and there’s something heavy in your voice, like something’s been weighing on you.
Alarms immediately blare in Jungkook’s head, and he pulls away, his heart tightening. All the softness raised in him by kissing you turns into something worse, something akin to dread.
Yeah, he’s really too far gone already.
“What?” he lets out.
You sigh, opening your eyes to meet his gaze. You look sad suddenly, tired, and you glance over your shoulder to look at the monitor.
“Who did you write this song about?”
He freezes. He doesn’t know what to reply, because what would you think if he said he believes he wrote it for you before even knowing you? It’d be too much, and he doesn’t want to be too intense.
“Huh,” he lets out, chuckling. He’s put on the spot, and a rush of anxiety spikes his heartbeat, adrenaline drowning his bloodstream. “Just about an ex. I wrote it years ago.”
You hold his gaze for a few seconds, and then your eyes drop to your hands in your lap, his following to see you wringing your fingers. You look just as anxious as he feels, and he wishes he could take your hands in his, but it feels like he shouldn’t.
He hates that it does.
“Which ex was that?” you ask.
He frowns, unable to help himself. “It doesn’t really matter,” he says. “I don’t talk to her anymore.”
Which is true. Except she did text him yesterday, but he never replied. Hell, he even forgot.
It’s surprising. He never usually forgets anything when it comes to her.
“Oh.” You swallow, nodding once. “There’s just…”
He doesn’t like this. Doesn’t like that suddenly, you can’t look him in the eyes. You look closeted, like you weren’t looking at him with those shiny eyes not even five minutes ago.
What did he do wrong?
“There’s just what?” he asks, and he sounds harsher than he meant it. He scrapes his throat, hoping you don’t take it personally, but you choose this moment to meet his gaze again, and you look like you did the first few weeks.
Like he’s just offended you, and he wants to slap himself across the face for it.
“Mingyu said you were watching your ex stream on Friday,” you say, and your eyebrows grow closer over your eyes, a line appearing between them.
Fuck. Mingyu slept over last Friday as he got too drunk over dinner, and he crashed on the couch near the bar in the basement. Jungkook couldn’t sleep from the stress and excitement about the concert, and so he came in here to work on this song, actually.
But of course, that led him to think about Sara, and then he saw she was streaming and he just watched for like twenty minutes. Mingyu must have gotten up then to take a piss or something and saw him.
“Ah.” Jungkook clenches his jaw once, tongue toying with his inner lip, catching on his piercings. “Mingyu should learn to not get involved in people’s business.”
“So you’re not denying it?” you ask, and you sound disappointed.
Jungkook hates it so much he wants to disappear through the floor.
“I mean, it was nothing,” he says, and he takes a deep breath as he tries to figure out how to explain. “I just watch her once in a while, but it’s nothing.”
“Isn’t that a little… toxic?”
It is. At least, every single one of his friends believes everything that comes with Sara is toxic, and he’s starting to believe them more and more with time. But the way you say it sounds like an attack, and the frown deepens on his features.
“Listen, it was nothing,” he reaffirms. “She’s someone I once cared about, and I just like keeping up with her occasionally.”
You don’t say anything for so long he thinks you might have gone mute, but then your voice comes out, weaker than he’s ever heard it. “I just don’t want to get hurt.”
His defensive walls crumble down, and Jungkook reaches for your hands, wrapping his around yours. “I don’t talk to her anymore,” he gently says. “I promise it really was nothing. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
You pull at your lower lip, looking at him for a few seconds. “Don’t you think it’s just a little weird that you watch her?”
He thinks about it, really thinks about it for a moment, and he understands why you’d think so. Why everyone thinks so, too. But it’s not really about Sara anymore. It’s just the familiarity of the action in and of itself. Because she’s familiar. Despite everything that happened and the toxicity of it all, Sara still feels familiar. And she was there during their biggest years of fame, so it felt even more familiar to be watching her Friday, right before their first concert in forever.
A concert in which they were playing all her favourite songs from them, too.
“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I guess it’s weird. But she texted yesterday, and I didn’t reply. I don’t think I want to talk to her anymore.”
That doesn’t seem to reassure you at all, and Jungkook feels like he’s freefalling, pushed down a cliff and headed to the jagged rocks at the bottom.
Is he already going to fuck this up between you and him?
“You don’t think you want to or you don’t want to?” you ask.
“I don’t want to,” he replies, and as he says the words, he realizes they’re true.
He really has been moving on, hasn’t he?
“I don’t want to talk to her anymore,” he insists, with more vigour than necessary, but it’s mostly just because it’s freeing to realize it. Like he was a caged animal, and he’s finally been released in the wild. “I actually really don’t want to.”
There’s a spark in your eyes. It’s dim, distant, but he doesn’t let it out of sight.
“Okay,” you let out.
“I really just want to talk to you,” Jungkook adds. “I promise.”
You smile. It’s a small, shy smile, one that darkens your cheeks with blush, and Jungkook feels his heart settling in his chest, the anxiety fading away. And then, it’s replaced with surprise, with some weird joy he can’t explain because…
Were you jealous?
He’s smiling. He must be, because you slightly frown, and say, “What?”
“What?” he repeats.
“You look like you’re about to laugh.”
He chuckles, snorts, and he shakes his head. “No, no. It’s okay.”
You don’t believe him. You narrow your gaze in suspicion, looking between his two eyes. “What’s up?”
“Nothing!” He laughs lightly, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just… Are you jealous?”
Your mouth falls open, and you pull your hands away from his, folding your arms on your chest.
“No.”
He smirks, and he grabs your forearm, trying to pull you to him. But you stubbornly remain in place, leaning back in your chair, and he laughs.
“Don’t be jealous,” he teases. “You’re the only one I think of.”
You part your lips, and a small smirk lights up your features just enough for him to know you’re not actually upset.
“So you think of me, mmh?”
“Oh, always, baby,” he purrs, and you finally give in as he pulls you to him until you change seats to sit on his lap instead. He wraps his arms around your waist, putting his chin down on your shoulder. “You’re all I think about.”
He pulls away to see you’re smiling. A self-content smile that makes your eyes glint with mischief and fuck. It’s such a pretty look on your features his mind goes empty for a heartbeat.
“As it should be.”
He laughs, pecking your shoulder. “You’re right.”
Your laughter tumbles from your lips, and relief washes through Jungkook, collecting the rest of his anxiety and taking it down the drain with it. And then, the vibes go back to what they were before you asked him about who he wrote the song about, and the warm feelings return to his chest.
Especially as you kiss him softly before getting up when he asks if you want him to cook something for you.
“Please do,” you say once you’re up.
He snorts, grabbing the hand you’re offering him as he, too, gets up. “So demanding.”
“Your food is good, what can I say?”
He takes the compliment and puts it in a soft corner of his heart, if only because all compliments you give him feel like the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
And so Jungkook cooks for you as the afternoon comes to an end. You chat about your book as he does so, telling him you have to work on edits tomorrow, and he tells you he needs to talk to his brother to organize dinner with his parents.
Which he really does need to text his family. He’s pretty sure they texted him before you woke up this morning, but he hasn’t been on his phone all day. It’s strange – he usually has the tendency to be on his phone a lot. But, in your presence, all he wants to do is talk to you and touch you and laugh with you.
Fuck. You’re so pretty. The thought hits him as he looks at you over his shoulder. You’re sitting on the other side of the kitchen island, going on and on about your book and what you decided to do with it in the end, and he honestly doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone as pretty as you.
“Are you even listening?” you ask, pouting as he remains silent.
“Yes, yes,” he quickly says, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”
You don’t say anything, but the food is luckily ready, offering him salvation as he plates your dishes. And then he joins you at the kitchen island, where you eat in comfortable silence, just talking once as you tell him the meal tastes amazing.
When you’re done eating and he puts your plates away in the sink, you sigh longingly, and Jungkook throws you a worried glance, half afraid that you’re going to ask him about Sara again. But you’re glancing at the time on the digital clock of the oven, and you say, “I think I should get going soon.”
The thought of you leaving makes his heart squeeze in his chest somehow, and he’d laugh at himself if you didn’t seem so disappointed too.
“That’s okay,” he says, tone reassuring. “We can hang out again soon.”
Your lips curl up. “I’d love that.”
And that’s how you go back upstairs to get dressed and grab your stuff in the bedroom – Jungkook brought everything up yesterday after you had sex, leaving it on his dresser. As you get dressed in the bathroom, Jungkook grabs his phone, and his entire body goes cold as he sees the amount of security notifications he got from the app with the camera at the door.
Someone’s outside. And he really wishes he could go out there and tell the girl to get the fuck away. But she’s stupid. She’s not even wearing anything to cover her features, and he takes a few screenshots that he immediately sends to both his lawyer and the police officer he’s been in touch with.
The girl isn’t Korean. She’s definitely foreign, and Jungkook frowns as she presses numbers on the dial pad at his door. She’s writing on her phone at the same time, most likely to keep track of her guesses.
What a fucking crazy bitch.
“Everything okay?” you ask, and Jungkook startles.
He didn’t see you coming out of the bathroom.
“Someone’s at the door,” he admits, and he sighs longingly. “Let me call the police.”
*****
You feel bad for Jungkook. Especially when the police gets there and catches the girl in the act of trying to break in, taking her away without Jungkook ever getting out of the house. He tells you it’s a good thing, as he’ll be able to get a restraining order against her, but it still leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, because it’s all just wrong.
You’ll never understand why people can’t respect other people’s privacy.
“They’re all gone,” Jungkook says, and he sighs deeply.
You walk closer to him, wrapping your arm around his waist as you lean your head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry, you know?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he reassures you. “She’s going to jail, that’s the best case scenario.”
You refuse to think about the worst case scenario. Not when Jungkook seems so at peace right now despite what just happened.
“Right.”
He pecks the top of your head before pulling you into a hug proper. “Let me walk you home.”
You chuckle, thinking he’s joking. But he doesn’t say anything else, just holds you in his arms, and you pull away to look up at him.
“You’re serious?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“Wouldn’t that be dangerous right now?” you ask.
“No, she’s gone,” he says. “And they’ll leave a guy to watch over for the rest of the day.”
You hold his gaze, looking between his two eyes. “What if people see us together?”
“That’s okay.” He leans forward, pecking your lips. “They already have last night. A couple of pictures got out.”
Indeed, you both saw those pictures earlier, but Jungkook said they would be erased from the Internet by his company before the day ends. And you assume he’s right, because you haven’t seen them again since then, and though your follower count on Instagram has increased and a crazy amount of people have commented on your posts – a lot of hate, actually, but you’ve always just ignored people commenting hate anyway – no one from home has sent you anything.
Not even Hyunseok said anything, and you know he loves celebrity gossip. Especially now that you are the source of some of it.
“And you don’t mind?” you ask him.
“I really don’t.” He shrugs. “I’m 29. Or 27. People know I fuck.”
Your gaze widens at the crude word he chose, and then something bitter fills your mouth.
Is that all that this is to him?
“Right,” you let out.
There’s a silence, and you know he’s scanning your features, probably feeling the way you’ve tensed. And as the silence stretches, you think about your friends. You think about Jennie and Mingyu, about Hyunseok and the people from back home. It feels overwhelming all of a sudden, like it’s too much at the same time.
You need to slow down.
“Why don’t we keep this between ourselves for now?” you suggest.
After all, even if he’s reassured you about his ex, you still see it for the red flag that it is.
Jungkook doesn’t like your suggestion. At all. His features fall into that same frown from earlier when he showed you his song. Song you’re convinced he wrote about her, even if he never confirmed it.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“We don’t have to tell anyone,” you reply. “Just while we figure things out between us.”
Jungkook gulps. It’s audible, even more so as he steps back from the hug. “Okay.”
He’s upset. You can tell he’s upset, but surely he understands? You can’t just jump into a relationship with someone like that.
“I still want to see you,” you reassure him. “It doesn’t have to change anything between us.”
His lips are pulled in a taut line, and he just shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, of course.”
He’s shut off. He’s entirely shut off to you, and you don’t know how to fix it. So you just stand there, watching him, trying to meet his gaze but he’s looking at a random spot behind you.
“I had an amazing time with you last night and today,” you carefully say.
He sighs, finally meeting your gaze. “Me too.”
You smile, weak as it is. “Good.”
There’s a stretch of uncomfortable silence before he sighs again, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. “Let me still walk you home, though.”
You don’t have it in you to refuse him, not when he seems to relax the second you accept the offer. Like maybe you didn’t fuck up too bad. But he still seems tense as he rummages through his walk-in closet to look for a hat and a mask. He’s more silent, too, as you walk downstairs to the front door, and he checks his phone to make sure no one is outside.
No one is, and you’re soon walking out in the July heat. It’s early evening, and the sky is covered in clouds, humidity clinging to your clothes and hair the second you step outside. It smells of rain, but your weather app says you still have an hour before the sky opens up, though it seems there might be thunderstorms all night after that.
“Gonna have to be quick,” you tell Jungkook as you start walking down the street, indeed passing in front of a parked police car.
Jungkook nods at the police officers inside, and they politely nod back.
“Why?” he asks.
“It’s going to rain soon,” you tell him. “I just don’t want you to be caught in the rain on the walk back.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I don’t mind the rain.”
You rack your brain to search for a joke you could say that might relieve the tension, but you come up empty. So, instead, you put your address into KakaoMap, trying to see what route might be the shortest.
It turns out there’s one that should surprisingly only take twelve minutes, but you have to cut through a residential village. You don’t really mind, as it also means there will probably be less people out and about than on the boulevard, so you turn left as you reach the street it suggests, and Jungkook stops, looking at you.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“It’s shorter this way,” you tell him. “Come.”
He clearly has no fight in him, because he just turns and follows you, hands in the pockets of his pants. He’s looking at the ground in front of him, clearly still bothered by what you said inside, and you take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” you tell him.
His gaze widens as he meets your eyes. “Oh, you didn’t!”
You cock an eyebrow, confusion swiping through you. “Huh? You…” You swallow. “You’ve been acting strange since I said we should keep this between us.”
“Shit,” he lets out, taking off his hat to card a hand through his hair, pushing it back, before he puts his hat back on. “Sorry, I actually think you’re right.”
Oh?
“I just feel bad,” he adds.
Your eyebrows almost touch over your eyes as you say, “Why?”
“Well, this is all going fast, no?” he says. “We’ve barely started seeing each other. I don’t want to put any pressure on you.”
He understands. He fucking understands, and it’s the most relieving thing you’ve ever heard.
“You aren’t,” you quickly reassure him. “That’s why I just want us to keep this between us for now.”
“It’s a good idea,” he says, and this time, his smile seems a little more true. “I kind of don’t want to go through Jennie’s interrogation.”
You laugh, slightly shaking your head. “We both know she’ll interrogate us regardless of what we say.”
He echoes your laugh. “Yeah.” There’s a short silence, and he asks, “What should we tell her, though?”
“That we’re taking it slow?” you suggest.
He nods. “We are.”
“We are,” you repeat, trying to sound convincing.
Because spending a full night and the next day together might not be the slowest thing you’ve ever done, but that’s okay.
It made sense, and was natural, and you’re not going to question yourself more about it.
“Can I hold your hand?” Jungkook asks.
The question takes you by surprise, and you feel your cheeks burning. “Huh?”
“Come here,” he says, not waiting for you to actually reply to his question before he grabs your hand, pulling you closer to him. “Sorry I got weird for a moment there.”
Your phone tells you to turn, and you glance to your right, at the very dark and small alley it’s suggesting. “Don’t worry about it,” you say, quickly glancing at Jungkook. “I think we’re just tired.”
“We did go to bed really late last night,” Jungkook comments, and you snort.
“One could say so.”
You stop, and Jungkook stops a step in front of you, glancing at you. “What’s up?”
“Gotta turn here,” you explain, motioning at the narrow alley.
Jungkook frowns, looking at your phone, and then at the alley. “That does not look creepy at all,” he deadpans.
As a matter of fact, it does. It looks extremely dark in between the walls, and they loom high, like the buildings are almost touching overhead. It’s strange, as the rest of the neighbourhood is all wide streets and shorter buildings.
Like it’s out of place, but it also seems old, which would make sense as to why it was built like that.
“Oh well,” you let out. “Kakao is saying to go there, so we’ll go there.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Good thing I’m here to keep you safe.”
You smile, meeting his gaze. “My knight in shining armour.”
Jungkook steps closer to you as you turn into the alley, walking into its shadowy depths. The air feels heavier here, like all the humidity is getting stuck between the buildings, and you can’t help the shiver that shakes through you.
You’re uneasy. You feel like you’re watched, and you almost let out a small yelp as Jungkook sneezes.
“You scared the shit out of me,” you say as you put your hand on your heart. “What the fuck.”
Jungkook laughs, throwing you an apologetic look. “My bad.”
You just glare at him, though you end up chuckling, and it’s as if the weird atmosphere dissipates.
It’s just an alley. Nothing scary. But, just in case, you grab Jungkook’s arm, as if holding onto his bicep offers you some sense of security. Strangely enough, it does, and you ignore the way he throws you a curious look as you keep on walking forward, reaching a bend in the alley.
Five minutes later, you’re finally reaching the boulevard, turning left on a much busier street. It’s like sounds return to the world, and you hadn’t even realized the alley was so… silent.
Needless to say, you’ll never walk through that alley again.
“It really is going to rain,” Jungkook comments, and you glance at him to see him looking up at the overcast sky.
You follow his line of sight and, even though your phone said it should still take an hour, a fat drop of water lands on your nose.
“Yeah,” you let out. “We’re almost there.”
Turns out you’re not too lucky. The sky breaks open a hundred feet from your place, torrential rain drenching you, and you have to sprint to your building, where you quickly use your fob key to unlock the door so you can walk in. You end up a giggling mess, Jungkook laughing along with you.
He’s beautiful. Even with the mask and the hat, his doe eyes are beautiful, crinkling at the corners as he laughs. You barely can believe that he’s here with you, that you got so lucky as to have his attention like this.
A year ago, you would have never believed it. That you’d end up here today. On the other side of the world, with a man you used to dream about as a teenager.
“What?” Jungkook asks as you look at him.
You push your wet hair back, letting out a small, breathless chuckle. “Nothing.” You’re in the lobby of your building, currently dripping water all over the floor. “Do you want to come up?”
Jungkook’s eyes shine bright as he says, “Yes.”
That’s how you end up in your tiny Seoul apartment, Jeon Jungkook standing in the living room and doing a 360 of the place where you live. It looks even smaller with him here, even though the ceilings are high.
They have to be, as it’s an open-air concept and your bed is at the top of a short flight of stairs.
“This is nice,” Jungkook says, meeting your gaze once he’s done taking in your space.
You blow out a breath of air. “Huh, thanks. Nothing like your dream house.”
“But it’s cosy!” Jungkook insists. “And,” he adds, motioning to the top floor, “these apartments don’t usually have a window in the bedroom.”
You got lucky. You’re on the corner of the building, and so you do have a window in your bedroom, one you left open all spring to hear the kids playing down in the space between the three buildings that your condominium consists of.
“Yeah, I love it,” you say. You point to the big windows that cover the wall next to your desk and couch. “Even though the view sucks.”
It’s indeed just the view of the building on the other side, but you know that if you sit at the desk and lean back a little, you can see a corner of the sky. Although, right now, the rain is covering the window in a shower that makes the world outside blurry.
“Well, at least you’ve got a lot of light,” Jungkook points out. “It’s rare.”
“You’re the one that lives in a dark house,” you tease. “Not a lot of people like to live in darkness.”
He laughs, and then glances at your couch. “I’d sit, but I feel like I’ll just make it wet.”
“I unfortunately do not have clothes your size. Let me get a towel.”
Jungkook patiently waits for you as you go to your small bathroom to retrieve a towel, and you walk back to the sight of him watching the pictures you’ve hung on the wall.
“Cute,” he says as he glances at you.
You don’t know what picture he’s talking of, yet a blush still creeps on your cheeks when you reply, “Thank you.”
He doesn’t say anything else, and you put the towel on the couch, before looking at him. “Sit. I’ll go get changed.”
He offers you a small smile and a nod, and you’re pretty sure he looks at you as you head upstairs, bending down to not bump your head on the ceiling. You have a small dresser next to your bed, where your more comfortable clothes are – the rest are downstairs in the closet – and you pull a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from it. You’re quick to go back downstairs after that, changing in the bathroom. You leave your clothes to dry in there, and then you join Jungkook back in the living room.
You stop, gaze widening, as you see him shirtless on the couch.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
He shrugs. “Shirt’s wet.”
He’s leaning back against the couch, the hard muscles of his chest and abdomen cutting across his skin and damn you, you feel heat rising in you.
“Oh,” you let out, and then you finish making your way to him, sitting next to him. There’s a short silence, and you clear your throat. “I don’t think the rain will last long.”
Jungkook looks to his right, humming. “It might. Monsoons are crazy sometimes.”
You nod, not knowing what to say, and you suddenly wish you owned a TV.
You’ve never even really watched TV before, but you’d kill to have something to fill the silence that rises between you and a very shirtless Jeon Jungkook.
“I really like your place,” Jungkook says, and you turn your head to meet his gaze.
His eyes are so genuine you feel yourself relax. “Didn’t you say your house is your dream house?”
His lips jut out in a hint of a pout, and he says, “It is. But sometimes I wish I had… more of a normal place, too.”
You understand what he means. Because living in a building like yours… not just anyone could pull up at his door.
“Yeah?” you let out.
He nods. “I love my life, don’t take me wrong, but it’s hectic. It’s exhausting at times.”
“I can imagine.”
He doesn’t say anything, his eyes dropping to your lips. “But this life has a lot of advantages too.”
His eyes are turning a shade darker. You’re starting to recognize what it means, and you can’t help the small smile that grows on your lips, or the heat that once more swells in you.
“Yeah? Like what?”
He leans closer to you, eyes boring into your soul. “Like meeting pretty girls like you.”
“Like me? ‘Cause there are others?”
He remains silent, just looking at you like you’ve just said the dumbest thing he’s heard in his life.
“I’m teasing,” you say, chuckling.
The corners of his lips tip up. “You better be.”
Silence surrounds you, but it’s short lived as a loud bang echoes outside, the lightning storm finally hitting. It makes you jump a little, even though you’ve never been particularly scared of storms, and Jungkook notices, cocking an eyebrow.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
“Yeah.” You glance down at his mouth as he bites at his piercings. “Yeah, everything is okay.”
He smirks, and then he reaches to the back of your neck, pulling you into a kiss. His pink lips are still just as soft as they were the last time he kissed you, and you sigh against him, right as thunder rumbles again, though not as loud this time.
Jungkook’s thumb swipes the side of your neck, barely even grazing the skin, and you shiver under his touch, tilting your head to the side to allow him better access. It deepens the kiss, and his tongue teases your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You grant it to him with another sigh, and your tongues tease at each other with gentle touches.
It’s languid. A kiss made of desire you’ve already been exploring together, of the knowledge you can pleasure each other. Yet it remains slow, deep, even as heat builds up inside of you.
Even as Jungkook gently pushes you down, up until he’s hovering over you, his warm skin soft under the palm of your hands as you run them along his back.
He leaves your mouth, trailing little bites and kisses on your jaw and down your neck, and you moan softly as his knee pushes your thighs open so he can kneel back between your legs.
His eyes are shining. Once more, you’re hit with the beauty he beholds, and all you can do is stare at him. He stares back with that same quiet intensity that inhabits his gaze whenever he looks at you, and you wonder how you once thought it was animosity.
There’s not a single ounce of animosity in the way Jungkook looks at you. Even earlier, when you nearly had an argument about his ex, that same gentle intensity didn’t waver, didn’t sour. Maybe that’s why you didn’t push more than you did.
You want to believe him when he says he’s over his ex. And when you look him in the eye, when you see how genuine he is… it’s hard not to believe it.
“How can you be so beautiful?” he asks, and your cheeks redden.
“Jungkook…”
“It’s true,” he insists. “Every time I look at you…”
He never finishes his sentence. Indeed, you sit up to bring your lips to his again, and the rest of his sentence is lost in your mouth, turned into a swipe of his tongue against yours. And then you’re leaning back with him over you, around you, and he kisses you so thoroughly you wonder what you’ll do when he’ll leave.
It’ll feel so empty without him here. You want to be greedy and ask him to stay over the night, but you can’t. You have a busy day tomorrow, and so does he, and your heart breaks at the thought of him not being here with you anymore.
“Fuck, is it crazy that I want you again?” he whispers against you and, for good measure, he grinds into you, his length rubbing against you.
You gasp at the feeling, and then you let out a small chuckle. “I think I’m a little sore.”
He pecks your cheek, leaning back just enough to meet your gaze. “That’s okay.” He pecks your lips then, lingering long enough that your heart reaches for him in the space between you. “I can do other things, too. Just wanna make you feel good before I go.”
And then your heartbeat scatters to the wind, quickening as he goes down your body, toying with the knot that’s holding your sweatpants up. He looks at you quizzically, asking for consent, and you give it to him with a quick nod as you realize what he wants.
But he’s a tease about it. He takes off your pants, leaving your panties on, hands slowly caressing up your legs before he pulls you to the edge of the couch as he kneels on the floor. He kisses the inside of your knee, eyes finding yours, and then he slowly goes up, pressing his lips on every inch of skin.
It’s sinfully beautiful to watch him like that, taking his time with you. With the lightning storm outside, you feel like you’ve stepped into an alternate reality, and you’re shivering in anticipation as his lips ghost over the apex of your thighs before going to your other thigh. This time, he bites at your skin, and you let out a small yelp that makes him chuckle darkly.
“Everything okay, baby?” he asks.
“You’re such a tease,” you grumble.
He kisses between your legs, earning a small breathy moan from you.
“Gotta get you wet and ready, mmh?”
It’s so crass. So crass and hot and it’s like there’s a tap between your legs, wetness gushing out of you. You part your lips, meaning to say something, but it’s like you forgot every word in the dictionary, especially as he pushes your panties to the side, looking at your center.
“Look at you,” he whispers. “So, so pretty.”
The second his tongue is on you, circling your clit once, you throw your head back against the couch, moaning lightly. You meant to say his name, but it breaks on the first syllable as he sucks on the sensitive bundle of nerves.
Jungkook is good at this. It seems like he’s good at everything when it comes to you, knowing your body by heart already. It’s like he can read every single tell you give him, coaxing moans out of you as he makes out with your pussy. It’s sloppy, with a lot of tongue and spit and a finger he pushes inside of you. More than that, it’s so good your head is spinning in no time, your thighs closing around his head.
He sits back just enough to push your legs wide open again, and then he’s back on you, unforgiving. You squirm on the couch, moans tumbling out of your mouth in time with the thunder outside, and you lose your hand in his hair as you grind on his face, looking for more friction. He flattens his tongue, moving his head from side to side as he fingers you slowly.
He’s moaning too. You feel the vibration all the way up your spine, and it makes your mind buzz with so much pleasure you feel your orgasm already coming.
It makes no sense. It’s too easy for him to make you feel this good, and you know you’re going insane. You’ll get addicted to him. Hell, you think you already are.
“Feels good?” Jungkook says as he leans back to push a second finger inside of you.
“Fuck, you curse in a broken sound. “Yes, Jungkook.”
He spits on your clit. “Good.”
And then he’s back on you, all tongue and small nips of his teeth, and you sprint towards your high, the climax hitting you as he curls his fingers to tease the sensitive nutty spot inside of you. You come hard, and he guides you through your high, fingers going slow inside of you as your walls clench and clench against him. His tongue keeps at your clit, teasing softly, until you pull on his hair as you grow oversensitive.
You look at him kneeling between your legs as you try to catch your breath, and he looks fuzzy at the edges, like he’s a thing of dreams. And you reckon he has to be.
There can’t be a man as perfect as Jeon Jungkook. It’s impossible. He has to be an invention of your brain, a prayer answered by your imagination, prayer to a need you’d refuse to name out loud. Yet he’s real, and he’s in your apartment, looking up at you with those stupid doe eyes you can’t get enough of, and fuck…
This has to be the scariest thing you’ve ever experienced.
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i love them so much y'all don't understand. rereading to edit for posting is my favourite thing ever. hope you guys liked this chapter <3 let me know what you think
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