#irkenarcheologist

[zinkuldump]

Notes of an Irken Archeologist pt. 12

I haven't really written here in a while, haven't I.

I'm actually pretty busy lately, if you can believe it. I managed to get a job as a Food Drone on Earth actually. Or rather, a Food Stall Vendor, as my position is officially called. We sell ice cream, shakes, coffee, waffles and such. It's nice because I can actually eat most of the stuff we sell and I'm somewhat training myself to ignore my anxiety more. I also see Gir almost every day, which is unfortunately infuriating most of the time because he already destroyed the stall at least three times in the past month. But I also got to know more humans and I think I'm starting to understand how to fit in more and more so I'm pretty satisfied for now.

I think I even have a... Friend, I think. That's what Ada calls me at least. She's very outgoing and quite dense, but that's a good thing since I don't worry as much around her. I'm just satisfied to be her shadow most of the time. She works at the same stall on different shifts or we work together when it's especially busy.

Zim still calls on me for his miscallenious plans, and I think that's what I still don't know how to deal with sometimes. Especially when Dib gives me "that look", and I feel as if all of my newly gained confidence disappears in a flash. Not that there's still that much of it.

Well. I'm also trying to find more sources to continue my research but it's slow going. Maybe if I have something to show off, Dib will be finally more inclined to believe my intentions.

That's all for this note I think. Finally to the point this time.

Hopefully I'm going in the right direction.

Nel

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[zinkuldump]

Notes of an Irken Archeologist pt. 10

There's way too much going on lately and not enough focus for me to process what it all means. I haven't done any progress in research and it's already my fourth attempt at a note. I'm always too tired to make anything out of all this. I've decided to just mostly trust Zim when it comes to our safety, he's been here for a while after all, but it's also sometimes really weird to wrap my head around the why and the how.

For example Zim can get really panicky about everything but there was also a time when he has decided to drag me along the neighbourhood. I was surprised to find out that he doesn't mind talking about confidential stuff when we're in the open. He talked and talked, about how much progress he's made, how well he's infiltrated the human education system, how much he knows and how dumb humans are and just begging to be conquered.

I think those were already the first moments I started to realize something was off. I was getting mixed signals. Zim's enthusiasm was nice but also... unsettling. I remembered how Yr would act sometimes in front of other Irkens when she was stalling. He was gone from the Empire for a long time. And I am... urgh.

After that I have actually still been staying at Zim's base for most of the time, as he would go to the human 'Skool', work on something frantically in his burrow or talk with me about Earth and human society. The last few days were a mix of following Gir around, following Zim around, trying to focus on where to go further with my research and trying to get more comfortable in general.

I've also found out about Skoodge. Another Irken. You may have heard of him, the conquerer of Blorch? The actual one, the one launched into space. He was really happy I paid attention that the taller Irken that the Tallest have chosen later wasn't him. I was a bit worried at first, but really, everyone here on Earth is so estranged from the Empire in different ways...

And there are also the humans. Specifically the ones that know about us. The Membrane siblings, Dib and Gaz. I met Gaz when she came by to shake down Zim for some game he apparently promised her in exchange for something. Weirdly enough we all ended up using a really old Irken VR first contact simulation... It was the first time it was actually fun for me. Gaz and Skoodge were the only ones that actually passed of course though. I wonder about Skoodge a lot actually. He doesn't seem defective. But... Never mind.

Meeting Dib was a little bit more complicated. And I'm not sure... Well. It was soon after I first arrived actually. When I came back to my cloaked ship for something. He has the means to recognize Irken tech signature. I had already heard about him from Zim at the point, but I was still quite perplexed about whether he's a threat or what is he really. I mean, it's all quite concerning with the humans knowing about us, but Gaz at least just doesn't seem to care at all what we are, and Dib, well... Dib cares too much. I told him why I'm here. About the research. He's suspicious, but I can't really blame him, Zim is still technically here to conquer his planet. I'm really worried about what's going on between those two. There's generally a lot of things I worry about here. And Dib can be a bit scary too. I kind of... short circuited in front of him, but fortunately Yr's failsafe is working and it fixed itself before it could become a problem. Everything's still mostly alright I think. I just wish I had the mental strength to get back to figuring out what to do next about my research. I'm getting mentally exhausted really quickly.

I don't know if anything I write here makes sense any more.

But at any rate, that was a long one. Probably confusing. And I don't know how to finish it. Welp. I'm just going to sign off then before Gir finds me. I don't think I ever ate as much as this week. And I'm barely holding off the toxic stuff. Still, I think there was some Earth animal in the cake and I don't really want to find out if I'm right.

Nel

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[zinkuldump]

Notes of an Irken Archeologist pt. 11

Another shocking discovery, on the wild ride that is getting to know Earth and its apparently future conquerer.

Vortians.

There are three, young vortians in the burrow.

Aaaaaaa?????

Yaay, my notes are getting even more incohesive.

I wasn't really supposed to go into the burrow, but I was alone at the base at the time and one of them just... Came out. And then he was like "We hijacked your base, you can't stop uuuus," and I was stumped, just sitting by the table, with my jaw on the floor and then he suddenly completely changed his tone, saying that he doesn't recognize me and asking how I know 'uncle Zim', and I'd just laugh hysterically through answering his questions. He then brought me down to the burrow to show me how amazing are his hacking skills. And there were two more of them. And I had no idea what to do. I managed to excuse myself and called Zim, but he wouldn't answer. Then Computer actually spoke to me, that the Vortians are officially hostages, but they mostly do what they want.

I ended up having to help Computer to get some of its controls back, but the 'hostages' were quite happy just getting noticed.

Everything is so wrong around here.

And I'm still at a loss as to how to continue my research. I'm being pulled in so many directions, Zim actually started to ask for my assistance in things that never end well, I keep being worried about Dib, now also the vortian children, I can't focus...

I need to find an excuse to be out of this house more often.

"Get a job," Zim's computer tells me.

Wait—

After a short awkward conversation it turns out that the House knows literally everything that happens inside it, which I should have figured so I'm gonna finish the note for now and... get a job I guess? Anything to get me out of this slump. Gir is screaming something about waffles again. When did he come home, oh Irk.

Later.

Nel

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[zinkuldump]

"(...) But there was always Yr. She was always somewhere close somehow. She would keep me out of trouble when I was down. She would tell me to stand up instead of laughing. She would listen to me ramble about my discoveries. And I'd listen to her doubts and conflicts as she told me stories that she thought she knew but knew she couldn't. (...)" -Nel

[Notes of an Irken Archeologist pt.3]

[zinkuldump]

Have this super dramatic shojo flashback scene with two naked smeets, because my phone gave me filters and now no one can stop me X'D

...aka Nel and Yr's first meeting, probably, with Nel being an overdramatic little shit from the get go X'D

[zinkuldump]

Day 30. SPACESHIP

I have literally no context for this.

[zinkuldump]

Notes of an Irken Archeologist pt. 9

Ok, this can get either very long or very short depending on how I tackle the subject. Let's see. I'm currently finally on Earth. Still getting situated, but... I think I've already done the hardest step for me.

I made contact with the local Invader, Zim. And I didn't short circuit somehow! He's not much taller than me actually. He was very suspicious, I think he still is, but in the end he agreed to help me with understanding this planet in exchange that I help him in his plans whenever he needs it. I don't really know what I'm getting into here, but as long as it's just following orders I should be fine.

Still, he's... well. I don't know how to describe it. It feels kind of awkward writing this now actually. I don't want to judge, especially since I haven't known him long. Maybe I'll skip that. Yeah.

His SIR unit, which apparently wants to be called Gir, is very obviously broken though, but it kind of feels... refreshing? I've already been roped into cooking, and it was kind of... it felt good. I actually don't feel that tired, considering how stressed I was when I arrived.

I landed in a forest, next to the city that Zim had located himself in. I got a simple disguise of a short, female Human, that could be called a tourist, so I can get away with more slip ups. Then I spent way too long on just... walking and looking and listening and fixating again on what I should say. I know all that by heart but in the end I had to improvise a lot because Zim was asking and accusing me of things I would never imagine. Like, whether I'm here to take his mission. Or am I a Human disguised as an Irken. Or a Meekrobian. But after we made the deal and he went down into the burrow to finish something he's been working on, I almost went back to stressing about what's next, when Gir appeared. He showed me human television and cooking and I think I feel like my brain had a soft reset, and I feel... fine now. I can wind down for a bit, let myself be dragged around and just explore this new environment.

I'm not alone this time.

Nel

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[zinkuldump]

Day 28. PAK

Nel Memory Log #54890163 - copy

"ZIM DOES NOT NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION, BEGONE!" he suddenly extends his PAK legs, standing taller than Yr, glaring at her, but seems threatened nonetheless.

"I am not a medical drone, so if you think that by acting like this you can scare me you're dead wrong. I've been threatened by more Irkens and aliens than I care to remember. I'm a doctor and I will not leave until I have examined you and that is final."

"... YOU CAN NOT—"

Yr's very slim PAK arm extends towards Zim in a flash and touches the point of opening of one of his extended PAK legs. Zim stumbles, as they look numb and eventually recede back into his PAK.

"YOU CAN NOT DO THAT! ZIM IS AN INVADER—"

"AND I AM A DOCTOR AND I AM HERE TO HELP YOU."

There is silence. Both Yr and Zim stand completely still. Finally Yr sighs and extends her flesh arms toward Zim, but not moving closer.

"I'm not leaving. Let me help you."

Zim flinches and backs away a step, looking a bit dizzy and almost stumbling on his own legs. He stands his ground though, as his PAK flashes and buzzes for a short moment and his eyes seem to fog and his gaze is focused nowhere in particular.

"Fuck, this must have reacted— I need to know what I'm dealing with here, damn," Yr quickly approaches Zim, grabbing his shoulders and steadying him further, before circling to his back and opening his PAK.

Zim's eyes finally focus after a while, I'm worried he might lash out again, but he only frowns and groans angrily. Yr doesn't respond, but extends her slim PAK arm again, connecting it to his PAK, and then works in silence for a while.

"It's a damned deja vu, it's what it is," she finally sighs, as she changes the opening on which she's working on.

"WHAT?" Zim looks confused, but still frowning.

"This happened before don't you remember? Only you were actually on the brink od death then. And you still kept shooing me away anyway."

"ZIM DOES NOT RECALL."

"...of course you don't."

There is silence again.

"I didn't know who you were, I just wanted to save as many Irkens as possible. They tried to stop me in the middle of the treatment. Told me you caused all this."

Zim's eyes wonder, his anteannae twitching.

"Learned more about you later as you got reencoded as a food drone."

Silence.

"...you wouldn't believe what sorts of things I learn about the Irkens I treat. I don't mind, that's how it is when working with PAKs. Patient confidentiality may not exist in the Empire, but I have my own principles. Your defects don't interest me, I may have to take them into account for the treatment but that's all."

"ZIM IS NOT DEFECTIVE. CONTROL BRAINS SAID SO. ZIM IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE IRKEN EVER."

"... whatever," she disconnects, sighing again. "I think that you're actually taking this ailment better because your PAK knows how to handle more unorthodox stuff. But it can't keep eating away at you, so I'm going to work on understanding it independently and deal with it so you won't keep glitching. In the meantime I just want you to promise me to not ignore it keep me informed if your condition gets worse, alright? As much as you can at least. I understand it may be complicated for you. Ask Gir, Minimoose and Nel to keep an eye out too."

Zim frowns even more for a while, but finally shakes his shoulders and moves away from Yr, somewhat dejected. "...ALRIGHT."

"Good."

[Nel's notes]