I was watching buzzfeed unsolved and im on the alien episode and it occured to me...
So like... since humans are so successful in terms of survival, there’s gotta be more beings like us right? I mean nature has definitely replicated something like us somewhere. Maybe not the same, but similar. (Also it’s kind of sad to think we’re the only ones out there... it makes me feel lonely.) And with this concept, also comes aliens who are no better than us... I present to you, the rascals I call THE TRANSLATION CREW.
The first things they translate are cuss words. They know what they’re doing, they know damn well what those words actually mean. and claim they’re “researching words of great importance”. This also applies to them purposefully only translating words that mean food, video games, movies, or other forms of entertainment.
Now, while translation and deciphering languages is hard, it would also be the best crew to be on. They can fool around all they like, and claim it to be research.
An example, that they go out on “Exploration missions for the sake of understanding the word better” aka go out get food and then hoard most of it for themselves. Since, space food isn’t all that... appetizing. They probably have favorite places to hit up, such as Peggy Sue’s and other 80′s style diners, and Krispy Kreme.
Telling others NOT on the crew that cuss words and phrases like “fuck you” means “you’re a good friend” and such, and as soon as they get back from reporting that, laugh their asses off in their sector/workspace.
Seeing how long it takes for someone other than them what’s going on, or when someone spills the beans. They have a really hard time not snickering when someone gently tells another such phrases in a kind manner.
Them, playing minecraft or something while the captain walks in:
Captain: Whaaat are you doing
Translation crew: Uhhh... reseaaarch....? ":-)?
Captain: Oh, on what?
Translation crew: “Research on the physics and intellectual advancement of the society relevant to the evolution and development of their entertainment and educational software.”
Most of their browsing based research on humans is scrolling through Reddit. Specifically, r/memes, r/dankmemes, and similar subreddits. Knowing that they were really just bullshitting.
Also, on the topic of the “ocean boiling” with the tictac/aircraft, what I believe is this: It is proven that it heats up when accelerating. The faster, the hotter is usually how it goes. If it was going as fast as the military guy says, and it was speeding up likely to explore more of the surface of the planet, it could’ve been accelerating fast enough to boil part of the ocean where it was hovering before.
Honestly with that speed, It wouldn’t suprise me if they went around the world in like exploration mini-jets just to pick up good food. “I want wendys” “fuck man lets go”
also since this is being written during the pandemic, they probably hate it too, since they cant get any of that good food.
