I'm reading the new version of Queen of Ieflaria, and uh. I think Adale mostly runs on contrariness and spite. Her parents: "Adale you need to go through with this arranged marriage, for the good of the country" Adale: "what if I don't wanna?" her friends "oh come on you couldn't really want to have anything to do with that stick in the mud" Adale: "TRY ME."
Obviously her parents are freaking out, but Adale needed an opportunity to risk losing Esofi. Esofi wouldn't have needed that. Esofi's good at going along to get alone. Adale needs something to fight.
King Dietrich's "with great (privilege) comes great responsively" speech was top tier, but it wasn't right for Adale. If he'd told her "I don't think you can do this, and I don't think you're capable of proving me wrong" she probably would have found a dragon to fight the next day.
And won.