Diary Entry #4 18/10/2015 (10:17am)
I woke up in such a terrible mood. I am glad that mum and dad and my aunt haven't come across me this morning. I woke up incredibly sad, and ended up just lying in bed for half an hour crying. Now I just feel cranky. Like I started emptying part of the dishwasher and I had to stop because I felt like breaking something. Ex-boyfriend/friend read the note I left him. Basically said it was unfortunate and that all the symptoms match up. I'm not surprised, dude's basically all blue if we go be the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument. Whilst I am red and green, which is actually really unfortunate considering my current circumstances. (I just lol'd thinking what would happen if my ex came across this, I feel a lot of googling would be involved). I said he could tell two of our mutual friends J and D. However I didn't say he could tell M, I think M is unwell and I'd rather explain what is happening when M is well again. I'm kind of terrified talking to people about this in person, I told H on Friday and he tried to deal but I could see he couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. I need to talk to my friends in person. I also should think of some ideas my friends could do to help, I feel they don't know how to help and would rather I tell them. I've come up sending me anecdotes about their day every now and again, or talking about Doctor Who over Facebook/Skype etc. Just things to keep the sense of being normal. I have to go to a 90th birthday tonight, I am really not in the mood. I just want to stay home by myself. I don't think I can cope with people today.