#is tree

[ladyjmontilyet]

cherry blossoms on the way to the bus :)

[paakone]

U kno that a tree is symbol of life?

I do believe in that symbolization.

I only have one thought about life which is growing higher, which is one way up. And then growing branches in every direction to make it a good balance of broccoli shape.

Call it whatever, this is the only way I know to think cause the others are too chaotic and impossible.

The dilemma I face is just not knowing if I am a mango tree or apple one. That's a given. Fair enough.

So, when I met people who believe that they belong on the roots of the tree than the branches, I can't relate nor sympathize...and they will always guilt trip me by screeching "why are u so ungrateful don't you have sympathy at all".....i mean yeah, you are right..

Learning that my roots of the tree is actually trying to devour me from under my feet is so much terrifying. I couldn't sleep at night nor eat any much, I choke on my breath, I bang my head to the wall.

It forced me to think that I may not understand to properly categorize them as becoming my roots, or the roots I try to make is poisonous in the first place.

I keep seeing CEO and entrepreuner succesfully make a proper footing for themselves and can't help but to think that is the only way to be growing up. Even with my roots trying to pull me from the surface which contradict the whole things.

There is also things I learn that i can agree with Jung statement,

In a way, it has led me to take a detour to the deepest of hell, and understanding that I should keep going on with that stuff attached to my back, knowing it will pull me with it everygoddamn time I move.

Which I don't believe at all should be how I go anywhere, and is just bullshit trying to be planted on me.

So, I decided that my first resolution of growing up there is the only way I need to look, no matter what the others talk about. Because if they can't be a proper footing of roots, I can't count on them.