[A: 5 C: 90] - Eccentrically Normal Actors
(Siffrin) {Mal Du Pays} <Null> |Asterion| =Socks= +Rosmarinus+
[[Loop]] [(Saffron)] [<Kyros>] [{Horizon}]
[<You’re curled up on your bed in the House of Change with a drawing notebook and pencil close to your chest. Your knees were up, and your back against the corner of your room were your bed was positioned.>]
[<You hold yourself tight, and, breathe. . . Then, you take the pencil and put it to paper. Who, were, they?>]
[<Your claw, hand, didn’t move at first, but then drifted over the paper. It was scribbles at first, nothing in particular, but then you relaxed. As you closed your eyes to try and calm yourself and draw, the figures came to mind.>]
[<A. . . A bird, a crow. No, not quite. Not you. Bigger, a shadow, unseeable. Like you are. You had wings, large wings of black feathers, beady white eyes, claws, talons, scales, but. . . But, you could never remember past the edges. The body, the arms, the legs, all were clouded in a darkness that you could not pierce. . . You had a dagger, a blade, different from Siffrins. And. . . You remember, a girl. No, not a girl.>]
[<A Princess.>]
[<You’re on a path, in the woods. And at the end of that path, is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin, is a Princess.>]
[<. . . W-why do you remember that?!? Why, w-why is that the line that comes back to you, and what is it?!? What does it mean?!?>]
[<Who, who ARE you?!?>]
[<You stare at your drawings, before clutching them to your chest tightly. You, you don’t know who you are, and that terrifies you. . .>]
[<. . . You need to talk to somebody. You don’t know to who or what about or anything, you just, you just need SOMEONE to talk to! Even the other voices in your head will do, but it’s, just, too quiet right now!>]
[<You hop off the bed, gently put the notebook away, then quickly leave your room to wander around the halls. Where would everyone be? You weren’t even sure. You just wanted to bump into someone you know, please. You’d like that. You’d really like that.>]
[<You’re panicking again, flapping your hands. Are the walls closing in? No, no you’re thinking things. Are you normal? Are the halls normal? What’s going on?!!? Who, n-no you’re okay! Calm down!! You look down a hall, people. They notice you and you turn away. People, no thanks You need to get out, find someone you know and- >]
[<You turn a corner and run right into someone.>]
“-!!!!!!” [<You stumble back, hands up, trying to say something but the words die in your throat! You’re frozen to the spot, you were in a dark corner! Or! H-how-!>]
[<The figure turns around and, has a mask on, it’s-- o-oh that, that, is, Nihil? A-ah! A, a friend! You, y-you think. You breathe, and, try again.>]
“S-sorry--”
[<It holds out a hand. You look at its mask, then its hand, then its mask. R-right! So, a-an invitation to, t-to talk! You. . . Stop, and take a second to breathe. Nihil is with Ramos, Nihil is fine. You keep your eyes to the floor and shuffle next to it, and put a couple fingers in its hand.>]
[<You feel a gentle coldness and numbness wash over you. Your heart feels like it’s freezing! N-no not freezing, it’s, being embraced. Calmed. As if a cooled towel has been wrapped around it on a warm summer's day. You feel terrified, yet the terror never reaches your spine or fingers. It’s. . . Scary, and comforting.>]
{Hello.}
[<Hello, Nihil. You do not wish to talk, this is nice. You wish to talk, but not speak. You close an eye and shuffle closer. I am interrupting something, yes?>]
{No. No real goal. Was told to front, try and find some self. No ideas. You look at them and cock your head. Why are you full of fear?}
[<I-I-- why wouldn’t I? Everything could go wrong at any moment! It has before, it can again. You shudder at the memory of the inn, how everything turned to hell just a day after you arrived. You didn’t want to, have that happen again! You had to be careful, right???>]
{You are right. You stand up straight. But there is no mind craft here, we are safe.}
[<How can you be so sure???>]
{I have checked everyone. There is no mind craft.}
[<Everyone?!?!? You squeeze your eye shut as you are bombarded with a flurry of images. Nihil, or the body anyways, touching the hands of dozens of people. It really had, it checked everyone. . .>]
{You are still afraid.}
[<That was a statement, not a question. You are afraid, even with the numbness you felt so afraid. You shuffle closer to it. You don’t want to be seen like this, like something disgusting, an intruder, the scaredy cat, the little panicking birdie.>]
{You are not used to your body.}
[<How did you know?!? N-no you’re, y-you are reading thoughts, right! Hhhaaa. . . You, stars. Yes, you do not, you don’t feel right! Your body feels, wrong. The confines of your skin are wrong, it’s all wrong. You, how can it, feel like-- You shudder, a wave of images, feelings, the experience of being flushed into a void. A dark void.>]
[<It’s. . . Familiar, and comfortable.>]
{This is me.}
[<You. . ?>]
{Yes :) }
[<It’s. . . comforting.>]
{You are invited. To my well. Yes?}
[<. . . . . You. . . You know that it’s possible, with mind craft, and, such. Find a corner, or dark place, please?>]
{Room?}
[<Yes. Room, closet in room. Dark, comfortable. No need to talk, right?>]
{No need.}
[<T-thank you. . .>]
>>>
=Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhrrrrrrrrahrmrghrhhmrhhrmhrnhrhrh=
=You're shaking your hands and pacing around the halls trying to figure out if you should do the thing you’re thinking about doing but you also don’t feel good about asking but you SHOULD if it helps but you don’t wanna bother them about it and it’s weird and bad right and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA=
=You hunch your back and scratch and ruffle your hair and it feels baaaaaaaaaad it feels bad bad bad and bad!!! You don’t wanna think about things if it’s okay you just, don’t wannaaaaaaaa!!! You’re still pacing, trying to keep this off your mind and failing!!! Where are your eeeeears it just, feels, wrong!!!=
=Oh you’re at the place.=
=Okay time to turn around! And go the other way!!! You turn and take a step.=
=. . . Take a step, socks! Go on, step forward!!!=
=. . . . . . . .=
=MMMMMMMGHGHHMHHHHHHHHHHMAAAAAAA FFFFINEEEEEE!!!!!!! You turn back to the door, shuffle to it, and, gently knock.=
“Come in!” =The Head Housemaidens voice echoes past the door and makes you jump. O-okay, okay, Socks, y-you can do this!!!=
=You, gently open the door and peek in. Everything looks so much bigger in the Head Housemaidens office, including Ms. Euphraise! She’s behind her desk going through a big pile of papers, and you could smell a sparkly, pink peachy perfume on her. W-wow, o-okay you’re already wanting to regret this.=
“Oh!” =She perks up from her desk when she sees you.= “Hello, have we met before?”
=O-ohthankstarssheknowsright. You shake your head, okay! Socks! Let’s try and talk!= “N-nomiss-”
“Ohoho! No need to be so formal, dear.” =She feels so huge in comparison to you right now!= “May I ask your name?”
“. . . S-socks.” =You mumble, holding yourself close.= “Nya/nyan pronouns. . .”
“It’s wonderful to meet you, Socks.” =She cooed gently.= “Is everything alright?”
“. . . .” =You sink down into your shoulders, not sure where to go from here because you, d-didn’t really have a plan!= “I. . . I-I, uh, u-uhm. . .”
“Take your time.” =Euphraise hummed and slowly closed her eyes. As strange as it was, you were relaxing a bit more.=
“O-okay,,,,” =You slowly creep towards the desk, shaking a little bit. You lean on the desk and look away, still flushed and embarrassed. Mmghhh,,,,, how do you, talk,,,, okay, okay. . .= “. . . I, I w-wanted to, a-ask about-- w-well can you, keep something secret? Please?”
“Of course.” =She held out a hand towards you, palm up.= “Any secrets are safe with me.”
“O-okay,,,,,” =You lean forward towards her hand. You can smell her perfume on it, as well as. . . Something else? Perfume? No! Soap, a kinda soap, huh.= “. . . I. . . h, wh, well, I-I wanted to ask if, w-well. . .”
=AAAAAAAAAWHEREDOYOUEVENSTART!!!=
“O-okay, I wanted, to ask you ‘bout something ‘cause you, know, a-about. . .” =You shy back again, head down.= “Weird, stuff, things. C-changing or, s-stuff.”
“Oh?” =She tilts her head, but makes no motion to get closer.= “Do you need my advice on something?”
“P-please.” =You shuffle a bit closer.= “I-I, uhm, w-well, I’m, y-y’know about, our, head stuff?”
“I know, Socks. It’s alright.”
“R-right, uhm, and me I’m, ‘n in headspace, a. . .” =Stars, that hand was looking so inviting now. Hhhhhhh you reach out and take the nice ladys hand.= “I-I’ma cat and I, miss, it. F-feels wrong but, don’t want to, t-to, to. . .”
“To Change?” =She gently traces a thumb over the top of your hand. At first you want to flinch back, but soon you’re melting.= “That’s very responsible, as you’re sharing a body. But there’s something you’re. . . Missing, yes?”
“M-mhm.” =You close your eyes tight and hold her hand tight.= “I, I-I don’t wanna be all anxious and worried and needing to think about all this stuff when ‘m fronting I just wanna lounge around and be a cat and not need to do that stuff but that’s stupid ‘n I can’t and it’s b-bad, right??”
“Oh no not at all!” =She said confidently and comfortingly.= “Do You know what regression is?”
=You blink at her. You just went on a huge anxiety filled ramble and she doesn’t bat an eye! That’s. . . A-answer the question.= “. . . Uhm. . . kinda?”
“It is a mental defence mechanism. One would, temporarily, regress back mentally to the state of a child due to high stress.” =She scooted her chair back and gestured to her side.= “But for some, it would be more like. . . An animal. Please, come here socks.”
“An. . . An. . .” =You shuffle over slowly, keeping your head down. You pause a few times, feeling jumpy at even the slightest of movements. But she doesn’t smell angry or aggressive? No she doesn't, so. . . O-okay.= “I, ah, anima. . .”
“Yes, an animal, and a beloved family cat.” =Euphraise cooed you closer, hand outstretched. You eventually took her hand, held it close. She pat your cheek.= “Does that sound accurate?”
=You’re shaking, b-but, also feel comfortable, melting, even. You nod your head enthusiastically.= “. . Y-yeeaha,, mh, yy-yeah. . .” =Hah, finding it, hard, to talk.=
“It’s alright, Socks.” =You close your eye, and feel her other hand in your hair.= “You all have been working very hard, right?”
=You nod again, and rest your head on Euphraises lap. You focus hard on talking.= “Y-yeah, been. . . Stress, no, want. . don’t wanna, worry. . .”
“That’s alright, little one.” =She spoke calmly and endearingly. You felt her hands under your chin, in your hair, it wwas so relaxing. It was such a nice touch and made you melt, it made you RELAX.= “You may lay on my lap if you want, and I promise, there’s no judgment.”
=Luckily the idea judgment had finally been shelved. You move your body onto the Head Housemaid's lap and lay down. One hand was still in your hair, and the other under your chin for a few moment more, before being taken back. You could hear a pen a second later as she continued her work. . .=
=wwwoahgh. . .=
=This was beyond nice.=
=It wasn’t a FIRST, really, well, you mean you had cuddles and head pats and hugs from everyone in your party! Well, almost everyone. Kinda everyone. Not, not really b-but anyway you did with Mira and Isa and Rams b-but. . .=
=You were at least pretending to be human about it.=
=. . . You were, expecting that to feel wrong and off putting as a thought. The implication you’re not human, but you’re NOT! You’re a cat! A kitty cat! Of course you should get to relax, get to goof off anddoajahaoooah. . . You roll your neck to the side stars that’s so nice. . .=
=You could get used to this. . .=
>>>
“BLASTED THING!!!”
[{You slam your hand down on the still spinning pottery wheel. You wince as some of the clay splashes on you, and start to grumbly pick it off.}]
“Oh try a hobby, it says.” [{You mumble to yourself.}] “Try and find yourself, he says. It’ll be fun, she says. Ugh, this is far from fun!”
[{You stare at the still spinning wheel, the remains of a pot you were trying, and failing, to make on it. For now there was only a flattened piece of uneven clay. You stare at it for a moment, then poke it. You let the wheel spin with your finger staying where it is.}]
“Round and round it goes. . .” [{You stare and smile.}] “Oh someone please, won’t anyone direct Horizon to the fun? No matter how hard it tries, it just can’t find it. . .”
“Er. . .” [{There’s a knock on the doorframe. You turn around to see everyone's favorite Housemaiden standing there!}] “A-are, u-uhm, are you doing alright?”
“Mirabelle! Welcome!” [{You smile and turn back to the clay.}] “Oh Horizon thinks it has finally found the fun! Maybe if she’s lucky, Mirabelle can join in too!!!”
“. . . . . . . O-okay?” [{She steps into the potting class. You had specifically chosen a time when no-one was around but oh well!}] “So you’re, doing claywork?”
“One could say such a thing~” [{You giggle, and poke the clay.}] “But the blasted clay is more trouble than it’s worth.”
“O-oh! Uhm. . . W-well I could, show you some pointers if you-”
“No need!” [{You have her off dramatically.}] “Horizon is having quite a bit of ffffFFFUN struggling as it is! Isn’t that right? That’s how you have fun, isn’t it~?”
“. . . S-some, some people do?” [{Mirabelle tilts her head, softens her eyes. Oh is she feeling SORRY for you?}] “Is something wrong? How, is, i-is today a bad day?”
“Oh Horizon’s having the utmost grandest of days!!! It thinks todays going to be, b-be--” [{You are having trouble breathing and, you grit your teeth and SLAM both hands onto the pottery wheel, destroying what’s left of the clay.}] “AWFUL!!! This is going to be the WORST DAY OF ITS LIFE!!!”
[{Your breathing shakily, head down, and. . . You made a fool of yourself. Get it TOGETHER!!!}]
[{You feel Mirabelles outreached hand, the hesitance, the contemplation, before she finally touches your shoulder.}] “. . . Want to, talk about it?”
“What is there to talk about?” [{You lift your head and smile back like nothing at all just happened.}] “Horizon’s just a demon of negative emotions and repression formed by the collective residue from hundreds of thousands of loops, nothing too important~”
“Thousands?!?”
[{Oops~}]
“Whoopsie! Slip of the tongue~” [{You wink.}] “It just sounds so much more sinister when exaggerated, doesn't it?”
[{You could see Mirabelle squint at you, then cross her arms.}] “. . . Well, maybe we could talk about that.”
“About what~?”
“W-well, you?”
“OH HAHAHA!!!!” [{You hold a hand in front of your mouth.}] “Oh WHAT is there to talk about! It’s just a sadness after all, no body, no thing, no nothing!”
“That’s not true!” [{Mirabelle reaches forward and grabs your hand.}] “It’s, it’s not true and I’m not going to pretend it is, okay? You’re a person just as much a sadness and deserve the same attention and love and support!!!!!!!”
“. . . Oh Mirabelle.” [{You feel, touched? Ha, hardly. . . Maybe. . . You look away.}] “But that’s the truth, not a lie. Even Horizon knows it.”
“W-well, well then maybe Horizon’s trying to lie more to itself than to me.” [{She reaches out and takes your hand.}] “S-so, if it can’t stop lying to itself, maybe try being truthful to a friend, a feelings buddy, alright?”
“. . .” [{You’re frozen to the spot. Stars, is she really being sympathetic? To YOU?!? But, why! Why is she. . .}] “. . . It’s, not sure. . .”
“Do you uhm, do you recall a few months ago when we first met Perci? Me and Loop?” [{She doesn’t wait for your answer.}] “I made them promise to open up to me because we’re feelings buddies! They mean a lot to me and YOU mean a lot to me! You all do, okay? So, so. . .”
[{You do remember that. You know that. And you know Loop’s been as insular as ever when it comes to feelings, and trying to get them to open up is like getting blood from a stone. Stars, ha, haha. Of course the Housemaiden would reach out even now.}]
[{Blind it all!}]
“What is Nostalgié, Mirabelle!” [{You turn and throw your hands into the air for dramatic effect.}] “A creature whose only meaning in life is to destroy its creator, and now that meaning has been snatched away! What is it to do! Get a LIFE? Get a HOBBY?!?”
[{You turn back, hand over your face. You paused for a second to see if Mirabelle had something to add, but no! She’s letting you rant!}]
“And here it is! Making little clay pots and failing! It tried fishing, but it’s no fun! It tried drawing and sword fighting too, but still! No! FUN!!!” [{You sigh dramatically and collapse into a chair.}] “It tries and tries and tries and still it feels NOTHING! Won’t anyone sing it towards the fun?!? The essence of merriness floods over its hands, eyes, and heart! Is this not entertainment enough? But no! Still it follows the smell of fun!!!”
“It can’t do this, it won’t ever achieve anything! Now the horizon sets below our eyes because it never learned to swim, and its own idiocy REFUSES to ask for a lifeguard!!!” [{You pull at your hair and lean back in the chair.}] “It is illusions within delusions! Among a world of infinite connections, what is a thing to DO but WEEP!!!”
[{You hear wood snap, and feel a sudden rush backwards.}]
[{You brace for the sharp pain, and the sudden end to life that usually comes with a broken chair.}]
[{Then. . . the pain, never came? Your eyes were closed tight, and a tug on your cloak. You. . . Open an eye.}]
[{Mirabelle is holding you by the collar of your cloak. She, oh! She caught you! That. . .}] “. . . Why, did you do that?”
“. . . W-whAT?!?” [{Her face turns into a confused scowl.}] “Y-you’re my friend!! And I wouldn’t want you to get hurt! You! CRAB!!!”
“. . . Are. . .” [{You, lock eyes with her.}] “A hand outstretched so kindly, it's no wonder she is the Change God's favorite! With her fallen star-blessed heart, she could face down any foe and see the Change that is possible. Seen as a kindness to friends, and a weakness to enemies; connections and bonds that are meant to transmit cheerfulness, and even so, it. . .”
“. . . H-horizon?”
[{You blink a few times, right yourself, then shake your head clear.}] “Ah, my sincerest apologies, it appears Horizon may have ah. . .” [{You rub the side of your head.}] “. . . Stars, it’s not even sure it knows, or remembers!”
“That’s alright!” [{You feel a hand on your back as she guides you to a chair that ISN’T broken.}] “For what it’s worth, I think your, y-your rant was really, Impressive?”
“Oh!” [{You blink a few times, and rub your face.}] “Thank you? Was it ah, entertaining?”
“It was!” [{She sounded excited.}] “Like a one person theater performance. Like a poetry reading but more. . . Aggressive and dramatic! Oh! Oh or even like a lecture!!!”
“. . .” [{You rub your eyes, slap your face and sit up.}] “Horizon is not sure what to think of that. It always felt such rants were just. . . Selfish.”
“No?” [{Mirabelle sat across from you, writing something down.}] “I mean, it can be, but even then that’s not a bad thing!”
“. . . Hmmm. . .” [{You close your eye, and feel your mouth twitch into a smile. Was. . . This a flavor of fun? In a way, you felt a beat in your heart. Airing your emotion, your hatred and fears and blood for all to see. . .}] “It will. . . Horizon will keep that in mind.”
