#isolation posts

[lifesizehysteria]

Me: *googles when does illinois move to phase 1c*

Google: Chicago, Chicago, Chicago, Chicago...

[lifesizehysteria]

Fuck I’m so tired after getting my second vaccine. Gotta go to bed, send me lots of Not Sick vibes for tomorrow.

[lifesizehysteria]

Up early for my vaccine appointment and getting nervous about it. Hopefully the 30 minute drive there will help me settle my nerves a bit.

[lifesizehysteria]

I find it really ironically hilarious that I have friends who work in business offices with a handful of other people who are deemed “essential workers” because their jobs didn’t shut down or move to remote during quarantine and they’re eligible for vaccination but even though I work directly with the public in a very large retail store, I’m not eligible yet because we’re not a grocery store. That’s absolutely fucking wild to me. I’ve been directly interacting with thousands of people every month but my friends who sit in an office with five other people are definitely at a higher risk. 🤔 

[lifesizehysteria]

My wife’s sister is hosting Easter as she always does and she’s planning on having it mostly outside. The weather is supposed to be really nice and as long as that holds true and we’re able to stay outside for most of the day, we’re going to go. I’m pretty sure her husband’s family is also going to be there - that’s why they usually host, so no one has to split the holiday. But with all of their family plus all of ours, it’s going to be A Lot and I am still nervous about it. I haven’t been around that many people in that contained of a space, outside of work, for over a year. We have skipped all family functions since covid started and I’d feel a lot better about it if it were just my wife’s family. That’s already a good chunk of people. If I were vaccinated I’d feel better. I’m glad my wife is vaccinated at least. But my anxiety about it is surprisingly high and part of it is definitely just the newness and unfamiliarity of it all.

[lifesizehysteria]

I’m having one of those days where life with Covid feels overwhelming. It’s been a year since my girls were in a restaurant, and that last time was the first time one of them sat in a high chair instead of staying in her car seat. The other hasn’t at all because she was asleep that time. They haven’t seen their grandparents more than once in a year. I miss taking my son to the playground. I miss my family randomly showing up at my work before my shift ends so we can grab Panera before going home. I miss having date nights out, leaving my kids home so my wife and I can have an actual conversation about something other than running the house. I miss shopping and stopping for Jamba on the way home from work and going to lunch with friends. I miss hugging people. It’s just so hard and it’s been so long and I’m tired.

[lifesizehysteria]

I really need a break that is not me going to work. I know I’m lucky to get that time away during the week. I know there are so many parents right now who are with their kids 24/7 and that it’s a struggle. But that time away is not the same as getting a night out with my wife or a lunch out with a friend. I get to socialize with other adults and I’m so grateful for that. But I need time away that isn’t full of responsibility and work and effort and draining of my energy. I need time to recharge as a person, not as someone responsible for anyone or anything else. I’m tired, y’all. And today I just don’t have much to give these kiddos and that sucks.

[lifesizehysteria]

Feeling like garbage today so called off work and was told I can’t come back in until I get a negative test. So I went and got swabbed - going to get the results sometime tomorrow so I’ll at least be off today and tomorrow. Probably $150 down the drain but at least we’ll have peace of mind that most likely none of us have it since we’ve been in extremely close proximity the last three weeks.