i wrote mike the way i did in my bike fic to be a wish-fulfillment for a specific flavor of loneliness that it is so easy to see in mike. mike loves very deeply but he has had few people to express it to and while i take the stance that (in the book & 1990 adaptation at least) mike’s pre-IT life was fulfilling in many ways he really was deeply lonely, like; no lover and (i think it’s likely) no remaining close family members, and few friends too. so where does he put all that love?
and then the losers come but then the losers leave again, and it is sad. so i have bill come back for him. but mike panics, because he doesn’t understand how this is happening or why. it’s not that he wants to be alone but he doesn’t think he will receive the sort of relationship he wants & needs so yeah he panics, and he does try to push bill away. because what mike doesn’t understand is that while it is so scary and overwhelming for him to push for a close relationship, not everyone feels that way. for bill, it’s easy to love mike. bill doesn’t understand his own feelings exactly, but he sees mike and he knows that he wants some sort of relationship, so he goes for that. but mike is terrified of that sort of uncertainty. so bill leaves and mike is stuck thinking why the hell did i let him go?
but he hasn’t ruined things because again, bill sees him. he gets him. i love their reunion in the book, where mike goes for a handshake but bill hugs him. you know mike wanted that hug, but he couldn’t have initiated it...but bill gets the impulse and just goes for it. that’s how i think it would work for them in romance, too. so bill comes back for him a second time (a third time!) because he loves mike and he knows mike’s scared and he’s willing to work with that. and mike can finally take this as the proof that this is...proof that bill loves him and that he is there to take the love that mike is offering. 💞
