has the 'tism
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has the 'tism
[Edgar Allan] Poe's inability to incorporate loss and move on was not a response born of his experience alone, but was also an invention, an endlessly repeatable dark adventure created by his exceedingly fertile mind. For Poe, in an artistically kaleidoscopic brilliance, does not write only about his own argument with the universe, but about everyone's argument. For are we not all, at times, exactly like Poe's narrators—beating upon the confining walls of circumstance, the limits of the universe? In spiritual work, with good luck (or grace), we come to accept life's brevity for ourselves. But the lover that is in each of us—the part of us that adores another person—ah! that is another matter. In the mystery and the energy of loving, we all view time's shadow upon the beloved as wretchedly as any of Poe's narrators. We do not think of it every day, but we never forget it: the beloved shall grow old, or ill, and be taken away finally. No matter how ferociously we fight, how tenderly we love, how bitterly we argue, how pervasively we berate the universe, how cunningly we hide, this is what shall happen.
Mary Oliver, “The Bright Eyes of Eleonora: Poe's Dream of Recapturing the Impossible,” from Winter Hours
jasper can I trade my siblings in for some boots hale.
Heavy
the quiz
In longing, you feel heavy. Your desire feels like a burden you've been carrying for too long. Your heart is a large weight in your chest, so heavy it brings down your shoulders and puts a bend in your back. You feel like if you were thrown into water, the weight of it would drag you straight to the bottom. It's as if no matter what you do, you just can't shake it or let it go. When you let yourself feel it, it's almost suffocating, you're drowning in desire, quietly. You unfocused your eyes and breathe out until the stream of air thins, a pang in your chest follows. The next breath is a sigh. You've been so patient, you feel you deserve *something*. Your yearning pulls and pulls at you but you've tried everything, nothing left to do but wait. Once you've accepted this, you push the thoughts away, but the weight is still there. Sometimes you convince yourself you don't even want what you desire anymore, you just want the weight lifted. But something says don't give up. You're too deep in love. Be strong my dear, stay determined.
Thanks so much for tag! @iona-xiv
Tagging: Anyone!
What’s your role in a found family?
the protective one
it does not require much for you to take someone under your wing. you have a knack for seeing the best in others and rooting for them, and they look up to you in turn. they feel that you are safe to go to in times of chaos or strife, and are calmed by your presence. you take extra measures to make sure everyone feels supported. things that others might not even consider, you have already likely accounted for. in most scenarios, you are "the leader." your struggles tend to come from your desire to provide things to others. you want to give, to see those you love happy, to make wherever you are a place of comfort. your failures hit you hard because you see this as your responsibility, and you hate to let people down. ...okay, yes, there's no avoiding it: this is the parent friend.
victor's allegiances: himself. madison. himself. thomas when he was still alive. himself. himself. nick. himself.
"In all of the conversations we've had since we've met, I've never heard you sound as happy as you did just now while talking about Jordan"