Italian Fact of the Day #77: No Down-on-One-Knee Marriage Proposals in Italy
To all of my Italians -- I need to tell you something that you might have thought was a myth created by Hollywood: Every American marriage proposal is a little bit over-the-top, definitely well-thought-out situationally out by the man, and kept as a surprise until he dips on one knee and holds a ring box up to the lady in a well-planned romantic atmosphere. It's true.
I know you don't believe me yet, i miei Italiani, because my boyfriend's 26-year-old, very modern cousin who lived in North America for a year and is well-versed in American romantic comedies, thought that this was not a real thing that happened in the U.S. and only a sweet Hollywood movie exaggeration.
Make no mistake, my Italians. I don't know a married American woman, including my mother, who has not been proposed to in a grand and surprising way. We Americans - we do this. And we American women, we expect this. If you are in any doubt, the photo I have chosen for this post is of one of my best friends being proposed to in a beautiful park in Philadelphia. And this is one of the many.
So now I'm talking to you, my fellow Americans: Italians - with the grand marriage proposals - not so much.
In a way, it's refreshing. I personally always wondered how I would react to such a question when in a committed relationship in which we are both in agreement over creating a life and a family together. Do I act surprised? Do I try to cry like the movies tell me to? Do the tears come naturally over such a grand gesture? Or do I do what I imagine I would do in saying something like, "Duh. Of course I will marry you. We talked about this, right? Stand up. We're cool."
Maybe it all evens out. These Latin lovers are more likely to be emotionally open and bare in a verbal way in their love and commitment to their partners daily, which turns into a mutual conversation of marriage plans, while we Anglo-Saxons appreciate a grand gesture of full-vulnerability and openness for confirmation because we all aren't always as open and vociferous about such things on a daily basis.
Both ways are gorgeous. Both ways start a life together. Both ways are a beautiful and loving commitment to a life of partnership and love.
But the "soft power" of American media is strong here. I wouldn't be surprised if the young Italian generation familiar with American film starts going our way. I don't know if that is better or worse. Probably neither. Love expressed and love received is one of the most wonderful things in life.
Who cares how it happens.