#ithasalwaysbeenyou

[thesecretletter]

From time to time you would ask me “did you write this?”… I can honestly say no, I had not written any of the ones you asked me about - no matter how fitting they were. But this one? This one I did write, if you ever see it. I will never be able to let you go. It will always be you. I will breathe my last breath on Earth still with my heart consumed with my love for you. I never could have imagined a more perfect person for me could walk this Earth, until I met you. It’s unbelievable the connection we shared on absolutely every level. People dream of a love and a connection like ours, yet few people are lucky enough to find it. But you and I - we found it. Your arms are my home. You are an amazing person in absolutely every single way. I hope you can understand. I’m sorry. Just know that I wish things were very different. I wish you and I could spend the rest of our lives together. I love you. It has always been, and will always be, you… Maybe in another time, in another life, we will have our time.

Your secrets are safe here

[blaurora]

I'll love you 'till my lungs collapse.

[raxipyensid]

don't need to look no further. this ain't lust. #throwback #datingseason #2013 #ithasalwaysbeenyou #halalgap

[noshuriken]

It Has Always Been You ❤

   A Niall fanfic - Chapters 1,2, and 3 here

Chapter 4            

 There have been many famous cases of depression, some that last years –even decades- before they finally claim the soul of the poor empty body that has had to deal with such pain. But none of those compared to the wave of sadness that completely overtook your body as you made the short walk to your front door. Niall wasn’t with you anymore, so you sat on your porch and cried. For a very very long time. Your stupid neighbors would occasionally glance over at you, but they didn’t bother to ask if everything was okay. By the time you stopped sobbing and lifted your head up from in between your knees, you weren’t sad anymore, there was just a dull numbness that spread throughout your body. You glanced up at the rapidly darkening sky and stared at it for a while, wondering if Niall’s plane had left yet. It wasn’t after a while that you felt vibrations slightly tickle your thigh. You reached for your phone and quickly answered the call made by a number you immediately recognized  “Hello?” you asked. Your throat burned horribly from all the sobbing and your voice was raspy and rough. “Y/N! Finally you answer! Me and Lucy are going to hit SUK11? Wanna come?” Her voice was hyper and overexcited, as always. Miranda had been your best friend since before you could remember. She always knew what was going on with you, especially since you always told her everything, and she could see through anyone and anything. “Umm, I’m not quite sure, Niall just left and I’m not really feeling all too cheery to go clubbing tonight. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I've been sitting in the fetal position crying for the past four hours.” You told her. “What!? Y/N why didn't you call me earlier!? I’ll be over in 15 minutes, a hard night of drinking is exactly what you need right now and don’t say no because I’ll just drag you out of your flat by force.” You tried to stop her, “Miranda wai—“  “Too late! I’m on my way, see you soon!” And with that, the line went dead. Great, you thought to yourself, groaning as you got up. There was no point in arguing with Miranda, when she wanted to do something, there was absolutely no stopping her. You walked into your flat and headed upstairs to look for something to wear. You made your way into your room and looked in the full length mirror. Your shorts were smudged with dirt, your teal tank top slugged against your body, and your hair looked like it had been attacked by trolls. All that didn’t even begin to compare with your face; your eyes were a deep red, outlined with a sharp crimson from where you had been crying. Your lips were pale against your face and you looked like you’d died and come back to life as an ugly ghost. Sighing, you made your way to your closet. Deciding not to try too hard, you slipped on a pair of black skinny jeans and a shimmery tank top. You switched your Sperries for red heels and then headed straight for your bathroom. After your hair was combed into a couple of loose waves, you applied your makeup. It didn’t take long, some concealer, mascara, and red lipstick. Niall didn’t like it when you wore too much makeup. Once you looked decent enough, you slipped your phone into your pocket and headed outside, just as a sleek black Volvo rounded the corner. Goddamn all these rich people! The car stopped in front of you and you opened the back door and slipped inside. “Hey baby you feeling any better?” Lucy asked, whirling around. “Not really,” you replied half-heartedly, “But hopefully a couple of alcohol can change that.” Miranda pushed down the pedal, “That’s my girl!”

                When you got to SUK11, Miranda and Lucy left to dance, but you didn’t even glance at the dance floor, you just made your way to the bar. Sitting in a high stool, you called to the bartender and screamed over the deafening music, “Give me 10 shots of vodka please!” The bartender got quickly to work, and soon lined up 10 perfectly clear shot glasses in front of you as you handed him the money you owed. You gulped down the first one without hesitation. By the 2nd shot, your insides were already tickling. By the 4th shot, you were the happiest girl in the world.  By the 6th shot, you felt like you were on top of the world. You never finished the 10 shots though, because by the 9th shot, you couldn’t even remember who you were, all you remembered was Niall. You were past the level of drunk, and Miranda and Lucy found you not soon after and drove you home just as your hands reached for your phone.

138 miles away from you, a member of One Direction sighed as he looked up at the delayed time schedule for his plane. Suddenly, his phone rang. The boy unlocked his phone - confused by the unusual number - and carefully read through each drunken-sent message after the next. Looks like someone was horny, He thought to himself. He looked up at the clueless blonde boy standing across from his playing a game on his tablet. He looked away quickly and a slight smirk grew on his lips as he swiped his curls away from his face and placed his phone back in his pocket, eager to text back soon.

[noshuriken]

It Has Always Been You ❤

A Niall fanfic - Chapters 1 and 2 here

Chapter 3

                After you both had dried your tears, you and Niall were both sucked back into reality and hesitantly went to Niall’s bedroom to pack. You were done in about an hour, if throwing everything Niall had in his closet counted as packing, and spent the rest talking. “One day,” Niall said trying to lighten the mood, “I’ll buy us an island, and we’ll live there just you and me and maybe some of the boys and no one else. And we’ll be happy forever and ever.” A smile grew on your lips. “You’d get tired of having to deal with me for the rest of your life,” you giggled. “He walked over to you and playfully kissed your nose, “Silly girl, don’t you know I love you? How could I ever get tired of spending my time with such a beautiful girl like you?” You smiled, because loved Niall, and he smiled too, because he knew. The rest of the hour went by in a blur and you soon found yourself sitting on top of a pile of Niall’s suitcases in your front porch, waiting for the goddamn black cadilac to pull up. Niall’s left arm was around your waist and you both waited together, talking about all the things you would do when he got back. Both of you had already said your teary goodbyes inside before you had begun packing, and you had  decided to not make this harder than it already was on Nialler, so you’d pretended to act strong. “Don’t worry Niall,” you’d reassured him, “you’ll go to the stupid award show and then you’ll come back and we’ll be together and we’ll do all the stuff we couldn’t before, trust me they can’t keep you away long.” Your voice sounded so strong, so hopeful that you almost even believed yourself. Almost. He’d sighed. “Hopefully I’ll be back soon..” He’d whispered to you. Even in such a low tone, his voice had sounded distant, far away, and lastly, broken. A car’s honk pulled you out of your flashback, and Niall’s grip on your waist instinctively tightened. You stood and glanced at the sleek black auto. You whistled lowly, I’ll be damned if I could afford something like that. You could see Liam and Zayn's silhouettes in the far back of the seats, and straight through the window you could see Louis shamelessly crying on Harry’s shoulder. Looks like Niall wasn’t the only one who’d had a tough time saying goodbyes. Poor Eleanor. You turned to Niall as he held both of your hands in his, and you tried to take a mental snapshot of him, as an invisible keepsake. His eyes seemed a muskier blue than before, definitely sad, his hair was sticking out in messy spikes from where he had run his hand through it, definitely frustrated, and his gray hoodie slumped on his shoulders and made his skin look more flawless than usual, definitely Nialler. He was perfect. And he was yours. Just, not right now. His thick Irish accent snapped you back in the moment, “Y/N, I know we already said our goodbyes but I just really need to know – are you going to be okay?” His eyes seemed so worried as your slight laughter caused his face to turn into a look of confusion. “Niall, you’ve been gone longer, for months, why are you asking me this?” You had definitely brushed up on your acting skills, because your carefree voice completely overtook the pain you were hiding inside. Niall himself really didn’t know exactly why he was so worried. “I’m, um, not really sure, it just feels different.” He admitted. “Ni, I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” You tried to tell him again, but your voice was drowned out by the impatient honking of the driver. “I should get going,” Niall said lowly as he grabbed his bags. You each took two suitcases and, once you had made your way to the car, literally just threw them in the trunk. Niall brushed over and stood next to the door and grabbed your waist gently. He brought your face closer to his and you stared back at those blue marbles of his. He smelled so good, and his breath sent shivers down your spine one last time. “I love you, Y/N.” You smiled, “I love you too.” And with that, you had your last kiss before he jumped in the car hesitantly as you watched them speed away, finally letting the tears stream down your face once again.

[noshuriken]

It Has Always Been You ❤

A Niall fanfic - Chapter 1 here

Chapter 2

You had never been one to jump to conclusions, but by the look of the man in front of you, you knew whatever the news you were about to hear was definitely bad. Niall stood straighter, and squinted his eyes. “John? What are you doing in my flat?” You looked up at John, he was a giant – six foot three wearing a dark black tux that reminded you of those 60’s gangsters with a look as interesting as cardboard plastered on his face. Typical management attire. “I said, what are you doing in my flat.” Niall hissed through his teeth. John stepped closer and looked down on Niall, “I have important news,” he began. “It must be pretty fucking important for you to have to break into my home,” Niall threw back at him fiercely. But John simply ignored his remarks and continued talking, “You - along with the rest of your band mates - have been invited to a special awards ceremony in Canada this year, and we must all arrive in Vancouver by tomorrow night – so you have two hours to pack your stuff before our cab comes and rides you to the airport, understand?” Silence was the only thing that filled the room. At least, that was before your screams. “WHAT!? WHY! HE BARELY GOT HOME LAST WEEK IT HAS BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE I HAD LAST SEEN HIM WHY ARE YOU TAKING HIM AWAY FROM ME AGAIN WHY ARE YOUTRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE I NEVER GET TO SEE HIM AND YOUR TAKING HIM ALL THE WAY TO FUCKING CANDA LAND OF THE FUCKING BIEBERS AND MAPLE SYRUP FOR A STUPID AWARD SHOW THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO WIN WHY ARE YOU DOING WHY WHY WHY!? ANSWER ME!” You moved forward to at least give Mr. I’m-so-fucking-important-because-I-wear-a-rented-suit-and-ruin-people’s-liveS a good slap across the face, but Niall’s arms held you waist tighter. Niall waited for you to stop flailing before he looked at you, and you knew something was wrong. His eyes didn’t seem like oceans of clear blue anymore, they seemed a murky blue, like rough waters of rigid waves and lost seas. Niall faced the floor, “Alright, I’ll be ready by then,” Niall said, his voice low and broken. You froze in place, and swore your ears were deceiving you.“I’ll see you soon then.” John replied, and with that he turned around and left, being oh so kind enough to lock the door for you guys. At the sound of the lock turning, Niall turned and wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly, as if he were hanging on for dear life. You hugged him back and laid your head on his shoulder, letting your tears stain his grey shirt. You were still trying to wrap your head around what had just happened. “Why did you say yes, Niall? Why?” you sounded desperate, and Niall could hear the pain in your voice. He pulled back, but didn’t let go of you, “I have to, If I say no they’ll do anything to break me – they’ll try to destroy me with a simple touch of their lawyers, I’ll lose everything, including you.” His eyes turned darker as he said the last line and you felt him shiver. You sighed. You knew it was true, management could ruin Niall’s life with a twirl of their little rich fingers, but you just couldn’t believe that Niall, your best friend, your boyfriend, your other half, your true love was being taken away from you once again. Your happiness lasted for eight  days, eight short days and now he was going to be gone again for God knows how long. You wish you knew what was going on in his head and if he was feeling as desperate as you were, but instead you pulled him tighter and buried your head on the crook of his neck. You didn’t have to look up to know he was crying too, and you wished you could stop time and have him hold you like this forever. You didn’t  know what the future was going to bring, but you were a hundred percent sure it was not going to pretty.

[noshuriken]

It Has Always Been You ❤

A Niall Fanfic

 Chapter 1

      The sun’s rays piercing your window awoke you slowly. Your eyes fluttered a bit before they opened, and when they did you found yourself staring into an ocean of blue waters. Niall’s eyes crinkled slightly as he smiled at you and pulled you closer to him. Your bodies were intertwined on his bed and you pulled your hand free from under your body and entangled it in Niall’s messy blonde bed hair and laid your head on his chest.  “Good morning beautiful,” Niall said “You know you look adorable when you sleep by the way.” You felt yourself smile into his chest at the sound of his thick morning Irish accent. “And exactly how long were you watching me sleep?” you asked. “Oh, only about six, maybe seven hours…” he replied. You heard the smile in his voice and playfully nudged him. His laugh gently echoed in your ear before the room was calm again. A couple of moments passed and you knew Niall was getting impatient, so you looked up at those blue orbs, “Ni, I don’t wanna get up I wanna stay in bed and never get out.” Niall raised an eyebrow up and rapidly threw the covers off you “Sorry sweet cheeks but a man’s gotta eat!” He hopped out of bed as you groaned. In a matter of seconds, he already had you thrown over his shoulder. “Put me down, Niall!” you tried to tell him over your giggles, but he never let go, even when you headed down the stairs. Once he reached the kitchen, he set you down on the counter and smiled at you. He stood in front of you as your legs swinged back and forth “You know, that’s a terrible way to wake someone up” you said teasingly. He started to say something but you cut him off. “And I’m still super tired – do you by any chance happen to know any good tips for waking someone up?” You asked playfully. Niall’s smile turned into an expression of fake confusion as he pretended to think “Hmmm, what’s an easy way to wake a girl up…?” He said as leaned in slowly and winked before his lips met yours. You loved your morning kisses with Niall as much as he did. You felt all warm and tingly as your lips melted into his and your hands found their way into Niall’s hair. His arms wrapped around your waist as you continued kissing. His lips were so soft and gentle against yours, and his tongue traced your bottom lip slightly, causing you to shiver. Niall’s stomach suddenly growled and you giggled into the kiss before slowly pulling away. “I guess you weren’t kidding when you said you were hungry.” You teased poking his stomach. He gave you one last quick peck on the lips before turning and heading to the pantry, “I told you!” he shouted over his shoulder. You turned as Niall began shuffling through the kitchen looking for the cereal when the doorbell rang. You both ignored it considering it was probably just another over-obsessed fan who had managed to find Niall’s address. The overused tone of the doorbell continued to ring through the flat, though. Once, twice, a third time. You were both getting pretty annoyed until you heard a key turn. Niall and you tensed at the same time – you guys’ had never given a spare key to anyone ever. Your eyes met Niall’s and you started to ask “Wh---“ but it was too late, you sucked in a breath as you both heard the door swing open. All Niall could do was run over to you and stand in front of you, placing his arm in front of you and block you from any harm. Footsteps you didn’t recognize walked quickly in your direction as you pressed yourself closer to Niall. And when the stranger finally came into view, you and Niall both felt your hearts drop.