GRATEFUL

Libra. 1989. 📍Singapore

[raxipyensid]

so far so good

picking up tiny pieces

all i have is Allah

and that is enough.

[raxipyensid]

Ya Allah. I feel very lonely. My heart hurts a lot. I feel very alone in this house. I feel like I need to get out of the house but idk where to go. I feel so lost. Idk what to do. I feel hurt and betrayed.

[maliahina]

someone who stays

[pink-heart-writes]

[hatin]

via weheartit

[raxipyensid]

How many times do I have to start over?

Ya Allah, hati aku sangat penat.

[cosmicascade]

in the in-betweens

we keep bleeding with gravity pulling us enough not to notice we’re spinning in the roaming. what a sight it must be, from millions of light years away, seeing the past ever so binding, the future ever so striking, and the present ever so exhausting. who knows what God put in the air when we’re falling in love, so high above that we can’t make sense of. 

did you run through that field of grass you could easily find in your hometown, in the autumn haze, with the best of friends? I miss the front yard of my grandma’s old house with a guava tree perched in the corner, the lively upstairs and the haunted downstairs, the sewing machine she used to make blankets. 

now I just watch decisions being made, mistakes chosen over and over, regrets and griefs buried so deep I can’t find the stone, realizing I can’t stand a complete silence for a very long time, feeling my mind and soul building and crushing and building forts, shot the most painful bullets with no trace of where they hit, curse the sun and the rain today and thank them tomorrow, feeling too empty I can’t make out what is this kind of sorrow.

I dream of laying on a hill overlooking the city lights and let the cold breeze wash over me, I dream of holding on to someone whose face I can’t see, I’ve been crying every day, sending invisible letters, I’ve never been better.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine-de]

Eat Clean

[understands]

[thoughtkick]

“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”

— Eric Shaw

[raxipyensid]

🤲🏽

[raxipyensid]

Am i not worthy of love?

Am i not worth to stay?

Ya Rabb, give me some good news.

Your servant is very exhausted of her life.

[raxipyensid]

tired.

this divorce process is draining the fuck outta me. istg. my mediation is being pushed to another three months because that scumbag didn't turn up. i found out from my mediator that he went on a holiday. my mediator was furious, he said "dia yang open case, dia tak datang, apa ni" and gave a very loud sigh. a part of me just wanna hire a lawyer and get it done and over with this. i actually for once in my life felt regret by marrying that scum.

this is by far, the most tired i have ever been. but i believe in Qada' and Qadar and this maybe a blessing for me. and i pray that he will turn up 3 months later. by then i'll be 35. and maybe, once i'm done with this, i can buy my own house. move back to taman jurong or jurong area.

i had plans to celebrate R and my birthday together after i come back from KL in October but Allah has better plans for us. it's ok. i am just let Allah handle everything. <3

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Nitya Prakash

[perfectquote]

“It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.”

— Unknown

[blabbershere]

I'm a hopelessly romantic old soul disguised as a loner for this modern age love.

— Ruth Winters / Modern Age Love

[what-iz-life]

I don't even get mad. i just get really quiet. what's the point of talking to them and you try to communicate something that bothers you and they act like they didn’t hear you or respect your feelings enough to take it into consideration.