his vision is blurry and a headache is begin to emerge and terrorise his head. he can feel it, stirring slowly, evolving — he can feel the hand on his cheek, too, warmth coming from either his gentle companion or his own cheeks, bright and flushed from alcohol. “huh?” he isn’t sure if he has heard benz correctly, not when his senses are distorted and far from reliable in this state. though mj works as a bartender and never shies from having a blast in parties even if it means making a spectacle out of himself, he isn’t the one who drinks that often on the other days and when he does, he is perpetually the happy drunk. the one who always drags his friends to dance, who tells them in slurred speech how much they are loved, the one who hypes them up with a loudness that both embarrasses and endears — the happy side of his more magnified than usual.
lately, it’s not as sunny anymore and it’s not just the breakup, which, he should’ve seen coming anyway, but the fallout with his best friend soon after. it’s kind of funny how life works, how people that you trust like family can stab your back like that and twist it at your worst. he thought what they had was a trust that could never be broken, but perhaps he was too naïve. too blind to see what's going on in front of his eyes. too stubborn to accept the truth for what it is.
he hasn’t caught every word that benz has uttered, but he thinks he gets the overall message. “i’ve made you worry, didn’t i?” he sniffs — a mess, still he tries to reassure benz now that he’s calmed down from the height of his emotions. his sight might not be the best under the dim, drifting light, but he can see the concern clear as day. it makes sense to worry when mj hasn't been acting like himself at all. his own hand rises to give benz’s a pat, before it rests there. “it’s okay. i’m going to be okay.” he blurts them out so easily, it is as if the words mean nothing at all. “i’ll get over it.” the pain won’t last forever. it never does. "you won't have to worry about me for long."
❝ do you even know what it does to me? every time i see you cry, any time you’re hurt even the smallest bit it just— do you realize how deeply you’ve imbedded yourself into my heart? ❞ from here, accepting / @itsacriime