From time to time one absolutely insane thought appears in my head. Itās absolutely horrifying and awful. But it keeps on knocking again and again ā I canāt believe no one of my family and friends has died yet. Crazy, huh? And that āyetā at the end of a sentenceā¦ What the fuck am I supposed to do with it? Knock on wood? Or just to stop think that way? But itās true. Itās a reality. And itās not like I havenāt been scared shitless for the life on my close ones during this time. There were plenty of occasions. First weeks were the scariest ones. Many settlements were occupied very quickly. One of my cousin sisters with two children got stuck in the occupied village. There was a connection with them for some time, we were able to call them. Then it disappeared. Do you know what we felt knowing that there were russian tanks in their village? Fuck, I hope no one will ever know how it feels. In few days they and their neighbours managed to escape, seven people in one car, four children. They were driving on the highway, and found themselves at a crossroads. Another car with the same fugitives as them was driving in front, turning left. The car with my sister turned right. And literally a minute later that other car was fired upon. One of my colleagues, very good friend, with his family (wife and two kids) got stuck in another occupied village. No heating, no water, no electricity. He was writing to one of our collegues K. once a day, sometimes once in two days, and K. copied his messages into our group chat. Almost a month like this, scarier and scarier each day. I remember his last message very good: āWater and food are almost gone. In good news - it's sunny today. That would be all.ā And some time later (donāt remember day or two?) he wrote to the group chat HIMSELF. They managed to escape. During the mortar fire. All safe and undamaged. And I was fucking hysterical for two hours. I think, all the people in our chat felt kind of the same... Another colleague. Two weeks in occupied town. No connection at all. Got evacuated. My motherās close friend. Weeks in a basement in Irpin. Evacuated. My close friend and his grandparents. Almost a month in the occupied village. Forced to leave their house and hide in a field. Other colleague. Occupied village. Broken arm and damage by debris due to the explosion. Now in the hospital. Friends in Kharkiv who lost their home. Friends in Odesa who lost their home. Friends inā¦Ā
Friends inā¦
Friends inā¦..
One day Iāll tell my story in full. But todayā¦ today is 24th. The war has started on February 24th. And I still canāt speak.
Itās been two months.
