It is all about me, 2012-2015
2012-2013
Since I was a child, I thought my anxiety and emotional innerness, which I could not reasonably explain, was an abnormality that deviated from the normal category.
Therefore, I thought that I could get objective recognition in the social order by showing myself in a rational manner without revealing my inner side in relation to others. And that it was a way to establish my normal existence.
However, the social order is fluid, and the relationship with others in the fluid order is constantly changing, and it was difficult to establish a solid existence in a changing relationship.
On this occasion I began to become obsessed with the rational definition of truth and my being, not my being in a constantly changing society.
However, it was impossible to ignore me as a social being and to establish my existence in a thoroughly reason - centered way of thinking, I fell into confusion. In this confusion I conclude that I can not be sure of anything, and that it is impossible to prove my perfect being, and I tried to express it as a work.
2015
As I said in my previous work, I thought my anxiety and emotional innerness, which I could not reasonably explain, was an abnormality that deviated from the normal category. So I began to establish my existence values through lies. Through that lies, I made a relationship with others and built my own world. But I was afraid of my being blurred in a false relationship with so many others in the world
So I wanted to define my existence. I could not admit myself in my relationship with others. I thought that I was not just a character who was a social being. In that dangerous false world, I thought that only I was true. I always felt great anxiety. So it seemed to me that defining my perfect being was the only way to stabilize me, I tried to define myself by building a stronger wall with the outside. But it failed, and I could not come to a conclusion either in work or in my own existence.
Since then, in the course of many painful experiences, I have been compromised by others and forced to accept others.Here I was able to admit that I was formed in social relations and could not escape from it. And I started to think about me in a lie. In fact, I am a person who is greatly influenced by others. Many experiences of social relations have made me up, and if this relationship collapses, I will become nothing. so I hide my frank inner self because of fear of that. I was afraid of the minor collapse of my relationship with others. Because of that horror, I lied to my honesty and desire, and I made myself suitable for the situation and made a wall between me and my inner anxious as a social being. Of course, all of the various forms I have made in relation to others, and the fear of hiding behind the walls I made are all my own.
The frank figure in me is constantly claiming herself behind the wall, but as a social being I can not express it. And even if I rationally oppress the inner side, they continue to exhale their existence. I began to work with these endless conflicts as natural. Recognizing the distinction between a world in which universal order exists and an insecure myself, I did not completely define my inner irrationality but proceeded my work by accepting it. I wanted to show myself as a social being with my insecure inner figure, Through the stubborn but incomplete wall between them, I tried to express myself effectively.
