I can't even begin to describe what it's like to lose someone this close to you. It almost hurts so much that you feel nothing at all.
Claudio was diagnosed with skin cancer a month ago. It was unexpected, caught early and we all thought it would be a horrible, short-lived experience that would be in his past soon enough. This morning I woke up to the news that he had passed. I don't know what happened. I don't know what changed. I'm not going to ask.
Part of why I went to New York last week was to see him. I wanted to be by his side through this tough time. The last thing I did on Saturday when I last saw him in hospital was kiss him on the cheek and say "I love you". That will never change.
To me, Claudio was more than a friend and roommate. He was my family. He was the person by my side when I moved to NYC and had a suitcase, no friends and no family. I will forever miss going out and waking up with him in my bed as we fell asleep together cuddling.
Claudio, you taught me so much about myself and the world. In hindsight, you completely changed my life. To most people, you were a fierce, sassy, loving and luminous person. To me, you were so much more.
You've made it Claudio, you're in heaven now.
PS: I know that trip to Australia we were planning has now been permanently put on hold, but I'm sure you're in a better place. You'll always be with me.