Enough
Valentines Day was coming. Not that you’d know it all on your own. When you stopped by the boys’ apartment, Zack had been more busy than his usual, rather lazy self, cleaning and making lists and asking your advice on things. On your way back home you actually noticed the “Hearts Celebration” decorations being sold in store windows.
You aren’t taking it too well.
Yes, yes, circumstances are different this time! Last time you knew a lot less and gained a lot few answers. This time around... Well, you’ve talked to Jave, but technically that was in the past. Where he was currently was still a mystery. A mystery you, contrary to the usual, were hesitant to solve. He could be anywhere, asleep, awake, dead, lost, clueless, living life to the fullest without you...
Enough. You have to know. You have to try. He could need your help, and even if he doesn’t, sitting and fretting and waiting and guessing for another month, a year, a decade... You’re not sure you’re “virtuous” enough to hold up to that sort of test.
Several minutes were spent pacing a hole into the wooden floor of the cabin’s main room before you stop and settle on that idea. You don’t even hesitate or take time to prepare. You take your necklace off roughly and with a glare, flick it into a spin and toss it away from yourself.
The dream catcher sparks and grows and expands into a portal, ready to lead you into the unknown. No. To lead you to answers, to a peace of mind, to your love. To Jave.
Steeling yourself, you take a breath and step forward.
On the other side of the swirling light, you step into a dusty room which was illuminated only from the cracks in the wall and the ceiling. Wherever you ended up, there was daylight at least. All along the crumbling stonework were green vines and blossoming flowers, and you could hear the soft trickling of water. The whole thing was so picturesque that even the leaks were more like serene, sparkling waterfalls.
You didn’t give an honest damn about any of it.
Your focus was in the center of this once-great room. A larger crack in the ceiling let the sun shine like a spotlight onto a raised bed-like platform. And onto the man sleeping there.
Breathing, nor walking, seem to work quite right at first. You take a couple of steps, stumbling over a vine and jerking yourself back out of the daze. You take a deep breath and make your way over much more carefully...
You... Don’t quite recognize him. At least not at first. For starters, his outfit is so ornate. Greens and gold and a bit of plum, all formal enough to make you actually hesitant about intruding on a God’s sanctuary. He’s not standing up, but he’s noticeably shorter, and wider too. Not to call him fat, but he used to rival your underfeed physique. He’s a little darker, like he’s actually met the sun on good terms now. His face is what throws you off the most, though. It matches his new body; shorter and wider... Healthy...
Jave... He’s so... Peaceful. You can see faint impressions of dimples, and it makes you want to see him smile. To be the one to make him smile. And his eyes, to see his brilliant eyes open and shine as they crinkle up too. Maybe he’s laughing (oh, a lovely thing to hear...) or maybe he’s just happy, and alive and well! And here! He’s here and you know where he’s at and you can see him taking soft breaths in his sleep...
You sniffle and wipe your eyes one at a time with a rough sleeve, not letting the image out of your sight. He’s asleep, and you know you can’t wake him up even if you wanted to, but it’s okay. It’s enough of a relief to see him right now.
Carefully, you bring yourself down to sit on the lumpy ground, leaning against the dais with one arm and a cheek against it, the other acting as a tissue still. Once or twice you reach to brush some hair to the side or to hold his hand, but pull back. It still feels... Fragile. Like disturbing the image in some way will break it, or at the least bother him.
Let your love rest. He’ll awaken in his own time. For now he’s safe, and he’s here, and that’s enough...
((Art by the brilliant @mangorumpuscandyfactory !! <3 ))
