@yansoftie i wanted to write abt eli and. s! reader inspired me
// tw: eli having a panic attack, abandonment, emotional flashbacks, hopeless mindsets
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing's okay, nothing will ever be okay, not as long as that filthy. . . human still lives.
The inside of Eli's mask was coated in tears and spit, he'd been wailing and sobbing for hours at this point, but he wasn't taking that thing off. No matter how disgusting it felt to keep it on.
He clawed at his mask's beak, vainly attempting to calm down. Who was he if he couldn't appear strong and unmoving for his flock? He was their rock, their safe harbor, and he has failed them.
It felt awful, like someone had opened up his body and taken his heart. Eli could hardly think with all the emotions swarming in his brain, he needed his followers back, more than they needed him- he was nothing without his people.
"FUCK!" He slammed his fists onto the ground with a strangled cry. He felt weak. Pathetic. Just as worthless and stupid as ol' Doctor Crackpot. He hated it, hated remembering how the taunting and teasing ruined his mind, how his true name was all but forgotten in favor of that stupid fucking insult.
It was happening again.
The way his flock would quiet around him, how the once bustling sewers were barren- they left him as food for the zombies.
That's all Eli's good for, anyways. What a fool he was to think he could sway the masses when that "hero" walks Nevada. That. . . human-thing. Nothing he could do would compete, would it? Should he give up, stay in his room and waste away? Let starvation claim him?
He was just. . . so scared. What would become of his flock? Without the guidance of their practices, what would happen to them?
No.
He's crazy. Just that strange man who got a job and promptly fucked it up at every turn. Just a stupid, worthless, naïve scientist who thought he could help.
Maybe it's best if the world forgets him.