5 things wrong with Coronation Street right now
I am a 36-year-old lifelong Coronation Street fan. However, the show I love is in a parlous state. After watching last night’s double-header I came to the glum conclusion that life is too short to watch two men mourn an armchair (if you watched it, you’ll know). And so, as a concerned connoisseur of the cobbles, I've selected five things wrong with Weatherfield (Corrie, please know that I love you and want you to get better, so read this as a love letter, rather than a Dear John):
Poor storylines: Yes, Corrie has a rich history, but even in recent years there have been some terrific storylines. The Lewis/Gail/Audrey love triangle was a personal favourite. However, at the moment, there is precious little on offer for the viewer. Last night we saw Roy and Sharif squabble over corn and potatoes. And last night two of the best characters of recent years - Steve and Lloyd - spent two episodes talking about a broken armchair. Scriptwriters, please, you’re better than this. And if you’re not, then we viewers certainly are.
The best characters being misused: Rather than be overly negative and point the finger at weaker characters (and, my days, there are plenty of them right now), perhaps it’s more helpful to flag up that the few remaining great characters are being misused. Steve’s depression storyline is the most striking example of recent months: the show took one of the funniest characters of all time and had him barely talk. For months. It didn’t teach us, the viewer, enough about mental health to pull it off, and instead proved the TV equivalent of keeping the team’s flair player on the bench. And, to stretch that sports analogy to breaking point, fans never want to see that.
Too ‘lowest common denominator’: I know Corrie isn’t QI, but some of us know that the show is capable of incredible things. The writing can be genuinely beautiful: not many shows can break your heart one minute and have you laughing hard the next. That’s one of Corrie’s key strengths - always has been. But at the moment, everything feels a bit too, well, "Mum’s gone to Iceland”. We’re currently treated to one or two witty lines a week, which, frankly, isn’t good enough. Perhaps the most striking example of ‘lowest common denominator’ was the recent ‘Eighties Wedding’ double episode. Not only was it an insult to our intelligence, those two episodes are among the worst I can recall. An hour of actors pretending to have fun. Our hearts broke, all right - just not in the way the writers intended.
TV is changing: This is my chief concern for Corrie: there’s better stuff out there, and much more of it. With Netflix on the rise, and HBO and Sky Atlantic raising the bar ever higher, competition is, frankly, brutal. The power has never been more with the viewer. A show isn’t good enough? Tough. There’s plenty of other choice out there. And, as reports suggest, Corrie’s viewers are jumping ship. The days of huddling in front of the TV at 7.30pm are over for many people - thanks to catch-up and on-demand services. Corrie needs to be must-watch. At the moment it’s too often can’t-watch.
“You don’t win anything with kids”: Granted, Alan Hansen was ultimately proved wrong with that infamous quote, but it feels as though there’s too much onus on youth. Perhaps this is a ploy at luring younger viewers to the show, but don’t forget that some of the greatest storylines and moments have revolved around the “older guard”. Think Hilda, Stan, Rita, Jack, Vera, Audrey, Deidre, Norris and more (I could go on) - all at their zenith once they were over 40 (and, in some cases, over 50 and 60). Please, Corrie, don’t forget what made the show great. For a show that loves to bang on about how old it is, Corrie has seemed to overlook some great older characters. Can I pick one mature character who demands better storylines? Eileen Grimshaw. It’s time to take off her tracksuit and give her some serious game-time. She could well be the saviour of the show.
In conclusion: With EastEnders winning rave reviews for its recent live week to celebrate 30 years, being a Corrie fan right now is a bit like being a Man United fan - our rivals are lapping it up, while we can only remember the great times. If United lost fans the way Corrie is shedding viewers, there’d be a major shake-up at Old Trafford. Of course there have been wobbles on the cobbles in the past, but this one’s gone on too long.
