That was the very last straw for him. He couldn't take it anymore. He was silently touching the ashes, down on his knees - that was all that remained. He never had a chance to get to know him better. To touch him without the fear of triggering him. Without the fear of letting someone close again.
He couldn't sense anyone else in the room, just Astarion. His scent was everywhere in there. Even the wooden stake nearby on the ground... Edward couldn't detect anyone else but him. Only him. He inhaled the scent and howled in pain, his agony too strong to even shed a tear. He wanted to show Astarion that not everyone was a monster; that he was loved by someone for who and what he was. Without expecting anything in return; without demanding absolute obedience.
He failed. Cain was right. He was right all along. He was a failure. He couldn't decipher the signs, the symptoms, and now it was too late.
"I'm sorry", he murmured to the empty room, gripping the stake in his right hand. Hard. "I hope you can forgive me."
He stabbed the stake in his own heart, just as Astarion did.
// @ivesleptsolong I hope you know that Astarion has been trying to make me not post this because he's heartbroken. He has no words for this, other than to tell you that this is mean and he wants you to take it back XD