Personal Imagine for Analisa
Imagine: You're nine months pregnant, and all alone. Sure, you had some help from family and friends, but the one person who really mattered the most to you left when you told him about the pregnancy seven months ago. Now, aside from the money he sent every month to help pay for doctor's bills and what-not, you haven't heard from him since. You usually try to avoid thinking about your ex-boyfriend, not wanting to cause yourself any more stress or pain. However, tonight you can't seem to get the night he left out of your mind. You had been terrified to tell him. You knew that you had to eventually, but you kept coming up with excuses: He was too busy with work, he was too tired, he was in a really good mood and you didn't want to upset him, the excuses were endless. Finally, one night you were craving chocolate, and you were shoveling the chocolate pie in your mouth as though you'd never eat again. Harry had laughed when you clapped happily as he gave you another slice. "A bit hungry, are we?" "I've just really been craving chocolate." You mumble through a mouthful of pie. "What are you, pregnant?" Harry joked. You froze when he said the word, feeling your stomach drop. You swallowed and set your fork down slowly. "Yes." You had said quietly, looking down at your lap. Harry frowned. "What?"
"I'm um...pregnant?" You said, looking at him with tear filled eyes. Harry shook his head slowly. "No. No you can't be..." Harry trailed off, not able to say the words. You shrug. "I am." Your replied, your voice cracking. Harry sat in silence, staring at the wall for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, you had reached out to touch his forearm gently. "Harry?" Harry jerked away, jumping to his feet. "I um, I need to go." "Wait, Harry!" You cried. "Please!" Harry turned to look at you, tears gathering in his eyes as well. "I just...I can't do this Analisa. I just can't." "But...you're its father." You said quietly, your hands wrapping instinctively around your belly. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Analisa." He whispered. "So, so sorry." Before you can say anything else, Harry had turned and walked out of the door, leaving you alone with his child.
You're pulled quickly out of memory lane by a strong, painful contraction. You aren't too worried at first, you've been experiencing what the doctor called "practice contractions" for a couple weeks now. However, when you feel the unmistakable wetness, you know that it's time. You look over at the clock on your nightstand. Three o'clock in the morning. Worried that everyone is asleep, you grab your cell phone and dial your mother's number. No answer. You try your best friend, and she doesn't answer either. You begin to panic, running out of options. Finally, you give in and try another number. Thankfully, this time you get an answer. "Mmm, hello?" The groggy voice on the other line says. "Louis?" You say in a weak voice. You hadn't planned on calling Harry's best friend, but you were left with no other choice. "Analisa? Are you okay?" Louis says, sounding more alert now. "Um, I think the baby's coming." "What?" Louis cries. "Are you sure?" You whimper in pain as you experience another contraction. "Analisa?" Louis says in a worried voice. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am Louis." You say into the phone. "I'll be right over." Louis says before hanging up.
A few hours later, you're in a hospital bed, resting after a long, painful labor. Your beautiful baby girl is sleeping in a little baby bed next to you, and you can't stop looking over at her. Just then, you hear a knock at the door. "Come in." You say. The nurse walks in and gives you a kind smile. "How are ya doing?" She asks. You give her tired smile. "I'm okay." "Good." Her smile fades a bit. "Analisa? There's a man here who wants to see you. He says he's the baby's father." You sit up quickly. "What?!" The nurse gently lays a hand on your shoulder, signaling for you to calm down. "You don't have to see him. I can ask him to leave if you'd like." "No!" You cry out. "No. He can...he can come in." The nurse looks doubtful, but she nods and walks over to the door. "Mr. Styles?" She calls out. The familiar curly haired boy walks into your room slowly, a nervous look on his face. "Um, hi." He says. "Hi." You reply quietly. The nurse looks from you to Harry. "Only for a few minutes." She says to Harry. "She needs to rest." Harry nods and the nurse looks at you. "Let me know if you need anything, honey. Okay?" "Okay." You reply, watching as the nurse leaves the room. Harry shuffles his feet nervously, obviously not knowing what to say. "How have you been, Harry?" You ask, trying to break the awkward silence. Harry shrugs. "Okay." He looks at you, guilt evident in his eyes. "How have you been? Did you get the money I've been sending you." You nod. "I got it." You look down and fiddle with your hospital bracelet. "Money's not really what I need though, Harry." You look back up at him, trying to fight back the tears. "I needed you. And you left me." You look over at your baby girl. "You left us." "I know." Harry whispers, obviously breaking before your eyes. "I panicked. I didn't think I was ready to be a father and I just...I didn't think I could handle it." "You're a father whether you wanted it or not, Harry." "I know that now. And..and I want to be a good one. I don't want to be one of those dads that only drops by every once in a while to give their kid a birthday card. I want to be a real father to our baby...if you'll let me." Slowly, you shake your head. "Am I supposed to just forgive you just like that? Let you waltz in here after all I've been through, and let you decide that now you want to be there for us?" "Analisa, please." Harry begs, tears in his eyes. "I am so sorry for what I did, and I understand that you don't want to forgive me right away. But I still love you, whether you believe that or not. And I love our daughter. It took me a while, but I do. And even though she's just been born, I've already missed so much more than I wanted to. Please just let me have a chance." You don't say anything for a while. You look at your baby, wondering how difficult her life will be without her father there for her. Finally, you sigh. "One chance. I forgive you, Harry." Harry exhales slowly, letting out a teary, relieved laugh. "Thank you." "Do you want to hold her?" You ask Harry, who looks at you in surprise. "Oh. You'll let me?" You smile. "Of course. You're her daddy. You should be able to hold her. "Okay." Harry says, walking over to the baby and gingerly picking her up. "Here." You say, patting your bed. "Sit here." Harry walks over and sits on the bed next to you, cradling the tiny baby in his strong arms. She opens her eyes, looking up at Harry. "She's so beautiful." He murmurs. "She has your eyes." You say, and Harry smiles. Without looking away from your daughter he says, "But she's beautiful like you. And she's going to grow up to be as strong as you too. I know it."
