3. Which fic are you using to introduce yourself to your new therapist?
4. Which fic are you using to scare away unwanted suitors?
5. When future scholars analyse your work, which fic will they find most puzzling?
25. All of your fics are featured in a nature documentary, which one goes viral for its absurd behaviour?
3. Which fic are you using to introduce yourself to your new therapist? "It Would Be So Simple" because who told me to write a story filled with so much angst and longing?
4. Which fic are you using to scare away unwanted suitors? "Don't Question" because reasons....
5. When future scholars analyse your work, which fic will they find most puzzling? Maybe "Night of The Comet"?? I feel like I was having fever dreams when writing this one lol
🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of? I would say maybe It Would Be So Simple. It's a Narcos fic that's set in Colombia in the 80's and 90's and I can just imagine it as an Audible book with the right music and background sounds that really pull you in to the time and place and accentuate the essence of the story. It's nowhere near complete tho, so 🤷🏽♀️
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with? I would say the worldbuilding for I Don't Wanna Be Unfair was less than easy. I really wanted to delve deep into the lore of Sons of Anarchy but also expand upon it in a way that differentiates it from the show bc it's AU and kind of my own universe in a way? I have so many places I'm taking that story to and it's sometimes difficult finding the balance between keeping with the themes of Sons of Anarchy but also making it unique.
18. Share the scene you just wrote, written from another character’s POV.
20. Share 3 images that would fit to a mood board for this chapter/fic.
21. Share 3 songs that would belong on a playlist for this chapter/fic
18. Share the scene you just wrote, written from another character’s POV. I'm writing a little bit for my Horacio Carrillo fic, IWBSS rn. I tried writing a section from Horacio's perspective just now and this is muy bien?? Babes you might've just unlocked something...
I’m usually much more reserved in my frustrations, but the words fall out before I have a chance to reel them back in.
“I don’t know if the work I’m doing right now is making a difference.”
Her eyes soften in understanding and she takes the seat across from me.
“Why do you think that?”
“Foot soldiers are essential to any war. I don’t look down on it, but I don’t know that I’m at my most useful where I am now.”
She nods, taking in my words, and not uncomfortable with the silence between us and throughout what’s become our clandestine haven. She ponders, “Where do you think you’re most useful?”
I don’t know. Which is as irksome as it is true. I’m no longer green to the game of armed forces, but there’s too many intricacies to the world of crime and combat to ever assume I’m an expert. I suspect I’ll always be constantly learning and reinventing the name of this game for as long as I’m in it.
“That remains to be seen,” I settle for. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to outright admit that I’m weary with where I found myself right now, especially in front of her, but there’s another part of me that found it virtually effortless to confide in her.
20. Share 3 images that would fit to a mood board for this chapter/fic.
Lol well considering I have an actual Pinterest board dedicated to them, lemme whip out a moodboard with some recents (Canva pissing me off with the formatting)
21. Share 3 songs that would belong on a playlist for this chapter/fic. Well considering I have an actual playlist for them 😂 , here's the first three tracks which represent three different points in their relationship.
Fantasy by Mariah Carey- the honeymoon phase of their relationship, blissfully in love and obsessed with each other
End of the Road by Boyz II Men- the divorce (eek!) "Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let go" This is them to a TEE. Divorce ain't stopping nuthin' with them lol
Empire by Shakira- their eventual reunion when they're stronger than ever and nothing can stop them
I could literally give you a mini-analysis over every song that I put in that playlist but I'll stop right there lol.
18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic? 20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written? 29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?
Oooh such a good question. I think I'm gonna say this line from It Would Be So Simple:
"Is it everything you wanted?”
The line itself is very simple, but because of the universe I've delved into and the story I've created between Carrillo and my OC, it feels both wistful and a punch in the gut. At this point in the story, Carrillo still holds a lot of pain and resentment for his wife leaving him, but he also wants the best for her and yearns for her happiness. I can literally imagine this line in my head and it makes me feel all the feels.
19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
Next chapter of Love You, my Kelly Severide fic 💖
Kelly hopped into his Mustang and raced to the hospital faster than Tony had gotten them to some scenes while responding to calls. It was pitch black outside, bright lights emanating from the ED, the only thing lighting Kelly’s path inside.
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
Hmmm I have a deleted scene from my fic, I Don't Wanna Be Unfair, where McKenzie gets jealous because she thinks a girl at the bar is flirting with Jax, but I decided to cut it because I wasn't ready for them to have that conversation yet. 😂
Summary/synopsis: Horacio and Kiara have split after the disintegration of their marriage. Some time later, Horacio is alarmed when he receives word that Kiara may be missing
Chapter warning(s): language, angst city
WC: ~6.6k
PAST
There she was again.
If Horacio was a man that believed in fate, he would feel there was something destined to take place between him and the young woman he found himself staring at outside the cafe. It had been another week since their last encounter at the park and now he was preparing to enter the cafe he usually relaxed at on Saturday afternoons. Except, he was now frozen in place outside when he spotted her sitting at a window seat, with a book in hand. It was only the potential embarrassment of looking like a stalker that made him open the door and walk in.
Kiara was too engrossed in her book to even take stock of the quiet cafe’s door opening or the soft step of the man’s shoes as he wandered over to the register.
The barista already knew his order and rang up his coffee and dessert before getting everything together. Usually, he’d oblige the kind lady who ran the cafe and go ahead and sit at his usual spot, but he was rooted where he stood, wondering what he should do.
She’d been on his mind all week, his attention flashing back to her in those quiet moments when he thought about her vibrancy. A spirited personality, one so bright that he had never encountered before. His own spirit was drawn to hers in ways that he couldn’t help.
Their short lived conversations were etches of dialogue that ran through his head everyday at multiple points throughout. Even now, as he grabbed his coffee and the arroz con leche that Señora Gómez refused to charge him for, he thinks back to their conversation in the park last week and how she wouldn’t let him apologize for not showing up at the bar when she invited him.
How she instead asked him about his ribs, which were still sore. How she said she hoped he wouldn’t need to use her number for his injury and then winked.
He was expecting hurt feelings or a testy attitude for standing her up and he was met with honey laughter and her phone number. He supposed being easy going was just in her nature, with the way she navigated the busy medical sphere during their first encounter. And then there was the fact she came from a background of moving around a lot if her stepfather’s United Nations post was any indication.
Without dissuading his feet from the motion, he began moving towards her instead of settling at his usual corner on the opposite side of the little shop. She only looked up finally when he spoke.
“Is this seat taken?”
He was greeted with the brightest of smiles as she stood up, “Horacio!”
She hugged him like they were old childhood friends and the soldier might have felt his heart rate halt.
“Come on, sit! How are you?”
They settled in their seats simultaneously, and Horacio felt his lips broaden.
“I see you’ve managed not to get yourself blown up again since the last time I saw you,” she noted with a teeth baring smile.
He looked down with a muted grin.
“Those ribs haven’t been giving you much trouble, have they?” she inquired.
“Not much, no,” He shook his head. And while he was still dealing with some soreness, he was very much on his way to healing completely. The bruises had faded and his scars were healing. Monday would be his first day back on duty.
“Good. I guess that explains why you haven’t called.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully, having fun trying to tease him. He managed not to blush or stumble over his own tongue as he chuckled at her antics. He still wasn’t sure how or where he gathered the gall to ask her for her number in the first place. And, in that time since, it hadn’t occurred to him that he could simply pick up the phone and speak to her instead of allowing his thoughts to run wild with what she may be doing or what her life had been like up until now. He could just ask.
Kiara giggled into her coffee, “It’s fun making you squirm.”
Horacio shared her simper before looking down at her book. “I see you’re reading a modern classic.”
“One Hundred Years of Solitude” in its native Spanish was strewn across the square dining table, the pages turned downward with aged creases forming along its spine.
The young nursing student nodded, “Yeah, kind of an old comfort book I go back to when I’m not interested in reading anything new.”
“What’re your other favorites?” Horacio asked as he leaned back in his chair.
“Hm… Well, I know they’re children’s books, but I really love the Nancy Drew series. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Bluest Eye. Oh, and A World for Julius! Another modern classic, I think.”
He nodded his head, listening intently, taking in the titles he recognized and the ones he didn’t. He noted, “You’re an avid reader.”
Kiara shrugged, “I mean, I don’t really get a lot of time to do so these days, but yeah, it’s a nice way to spend a lazy day.”
“I guess I should probably leave you to it, then,” he moved to stand, but she grabbed at his hand with the shake of her head.
“Stay. I like the company.”
Her hand lingered in his until he shifted back into his seat with a nod.
Their quiet afternoon continued with Kiara engrossed in her book and Horacio enjoying the serenity. Sometimes, Horacio would bring a book himself to read and other times, he’d just spend his time at the cafe, enjoying the quiet and taking in the lush, vibrant surroundings of this neighborhood. Señora Gómez brought over more coffee for them and switched the radio’s station from the cumbia music to a station that played more slowed down rock tracks from local indie bands.
Once Kiara got to a stopping point at the end of a chapter, she looked up and put her book back down.
“So, is this place a regular spot for you? Or do you like exploring different places like me?”
“It’s more of a staple for me. I’ve explored Bogota enough for this to be my favorite cafe.”
Kiara looked at him, measuring him up, “Yeah, this seems like your vibe. Quiet, deep in the cut…”
The cafe was nestled in a little nook between larger buildings and on a less populated road, which might account for the little foot traffic the business drummed up.
Horacio exchanged a questioning look and out of curiosity, asked, “What? It’s not really your vibe?”
She giggled at his mirroring of her lingo and the teasing glint in his eyes told her that he was purposefully mocking her, “Well, it’s definitely a vibe, but… If I wanted quiet, I’d just go to a library. I like hearing the hustle and bustle of life around me when I’m in a coffee shop.”
“Somehow, I don’t find that surprising at all,” he mused.
“Really?” her eyebrows perked up, “figured you’d peg this girl as the small town type. Slow and breezy.”
“Your personality is way too big for the small town persona.”
She couldn’t hide her smile at that statement, but looked down nonetheless. The glint of Horacio’s watch caught her eye and she grabbed at his arm to confirm what time it was.
“Oh, shoot! I’ve gotta go, I’m supposed to be meeting with my brother.”
Kiara had shot out of her seat and Horacio slowly rose with her. He gleaned over her as she grabbed her book and stuffed it into her tote bag.
“The brother that works for Interpol, I presume.”
“The one and only!”
Time was moving so fast in just those few seconds and Horacio was panicking at the thought of this being his last chance at fate. What if he never saw her again? What if their paths never again crossed? Sure, he had her number, but what reason would he have to contact her now that he was mostly healed?
“Would you mind if I came along with you?”
The words were tossed out before his tongue could reel them back in.
Confusion colored Kiara’s features, “To meet my brother?”
“Yes, that explosion the other week was carried out by international traffickers. We’ve been trying to find a link to which other countries they have reach in. Perhaps, your brother has some intel that might help give us a lead.”
It’s not that everything he just spewed out of his mouth was untrue. It actually was. But Horacio was a soldier. He may be involved with drug interdiction cases but more so as muscle. In a tactical role. Gathering intelligence and putting together cases was out of his wheelhouse and thus not really something he should be concerning himself with. He winced internally at his request and was about to open his mouth to retract before Kiara beat him to the punch.
“Oh!” she said in understanding, “Yeah, no problem!”
She put her tote bag over her shoulder and led the way outside. She looked back once they were outside, “I actually walked here…”
“We can take my car.”
Once they settled into the Jeep Laredo, Kiara looked over at him and smiled, “I don’t know why, but this just fits you.”
She patted the passenger seat as she spoke.
“Oh, it seems like my ‘vibe’?”
Kiara cracked up and retorted, “Okay, if you’re gonna steal my lingo, that means you have to teach me some Colombian idioms or something.”
He looked over at her briefly with a teasing smile before returning his eyes to the cobble-stoned road, “It’s a promise.”
*********
“We’ve been following some known figure heads mainly and trying to keep track of any peculiar communication, but nothing’s really stuck. We didn’t even get any kind of prior warning about the runners getting spooked from you guys moving in on them,” Laz explained.
The trio was standing in a shaded portion of the same park that Horacio and Kiara met in the other week. Once Kiara introduced the two of them, she’d let them take over the conversation with just a slight prod at Laz to give any helpful info to Horacio straight.
“What about any noise being made afterwards? Only a few of them were arrested at the scene and they were all foot soldiers.”
Laz shrugged, “These guys are good. That’s why they’ve been able to evade capture in whatever country they pop up in. It’s like whack-a-mole. Knock ‘em down in one place, eventually they turn up somewhere else. Honestly, I don’t even think they’ll be much of a problem for you moving forward because they’re not intent on getting caught up twice.”
Maybe it should’ve, but it didn’t give Horacio much comfort. He didn’t want them to no longer be a problem because they retreated into the darkness. He wanted them to no longer be a problem because they were brought into the light for justice to be carried out. For them to be expelled out from the places they sought refuge in his land.
Still though, he nodded in appreciation at Laz and then at Kiara. Though he was grateful for the information, his main reason for coming here was simply because he wasn’t ready to be away from this vibrant being that had somehow caught his eye. And now it was time to leave.
“Thank you,” he spoke to Laz before taking a step back, “I guess I should leave you two. I enjoyed the coffee with you,” he admitted, looking expressly at Kiara.
She smiled brightly, “Ditto.”
She saw him begin to turn away and her face paused for a minute. Without another thought, she called him back.
“Come back to the hospital on Monday to get your lungs checked. We’ll see if you were telling the truth about doing those breathing exercises I told you about.”
Horacio nodded once again, internally beaming at another chance to be in her stratosphere.
“Si, señorita.”
Kiara watched him walk away and head towards his Jeep. Laz watched between the two of them with a curious eye and smirked at his little sister.
“I didn’t know you were dating.”
Her head snapped to him with widened eyes, “I’m not!”
Laz’s face morphed into a “really?” expression before she put her hands up in defense with a laugh.
“I’m not! I’m serious. We’re just friends. ….If that. I treated him at the hospital.”
Her older brother nearly hummed but said nothing further.
*****
Horacio did indeed show up at the hospital’s emergency room on Monday. There was a rare slow dull to her shift and she had just returned to the nurse’s station from a coffee break when a coworker nodded her head towards someone.
Kiara followed the nudge and saw him standing awkwardly in the hallway.
“He asked for you.”
Her smile lit up as she traipsed over to where he stood.
“Capitán Carrillo…”
“Enfemera Nash..”
“Estudiante, técnicamente,” she corrected.
He nodded his head side to side in a playful manner that reflected “neither here nor there” but only hummed in his verbal response.
“Shall we?” She gestured towards a small room that he turned around and led her into before sitting in the sole chair of the examination room. At her silent bequest, he took his shirt off.
The bruisings were now tinges of fading yellows compared to the dark splotches of purple that were spread over his frame these past couple of weeks. She softly palpated her fingers along the tender pigmentations, and found that they were no longer sensitive to her touch. There was still some swelling on his right side where the broken ribs were, but the skin was less elevated than before. His ribs were on track to being almost completely healed.
She listened to his heart and lungs and found a strong heartbeat and clear airways.
“Well, it looks like you’ve been following orders,” she noted as she placed the stethoscope back around her neck.
“Provocations of being a soldier.”
She smiled at his comment and gestured with her head for him to stand up, “Let’s just do a few exercises so I can check on your range of motion.”
He followed along with her directions, moving whichever way she directed and answering her questions truthfully.
“My brother called. Asked if there was anything else he could do to help… He was a little disappointed he couldn’t give you a lot to go on.”
He nodded in acknowledgement of her statement as he shrugged his shoulders against her resistance.
“It’s fine. To be truthful, I knew to be expecting a miracle,” he sighed his own regret, “It’s just beginning to get frustrating, that’s all. To constantly feel behind the curve.”
Kiara could hear the tiredness in his voice. She hummed her sympathy, “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re doing everything you can do.”
“That’s just it. It used to be enough. I used to think I was doing everything I could do. Now, I’m not so sure.”
She gleaned the weariness in his features and asked softly, “You holding up okay?”
Almost like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he shook his head, washing the exhaustion off his face and replacing it with a placating smile.
“Yeah… yeah.”
He looked back at her, his narrowed eyes wondering how much she could see through him. The face she wore was one of indifference but there was something in the way that she studied him. Something that told him she knew more than she let on. He wasn’t sure what he appreciated more in that moment: the fact that she could see the inner turmoils in his head or the fact that her raised eyebrow told him that she knew he knew that she could see the pensiveness in him.
He looked down when she took two steps back from him, finished with testing his strength and range of motion.
“All done,” she announced as she handed him back his shirt and then went to the sink to wash her hands. When she walked back towards him, he was still standing in the same spot, now fully clothed.
He looked at her, breathing relaxed breaths, but unable to voice what he was looking for right now.
But still…
She knew.
“You can be doing everything right and it’s still not enough. Maybe, take that as a chance to figure out what “enough” means to you.”
She shrugged her shoulders and turned towards the door, “At least, that’s what I have to do when I feel like I’m at a fork in the road.”
“And what do you do from there?” He asked, willing her to stay in the room with him for just a few more seconds.
She turns back and smiles.
“There’s only two directions you can go. You take the one that feels right and pray to God you’re fast enough to turn back around if you’re wrong as shit.”
______
PRESENT
“I just needed to hear your voice.”
Horacio sat there momentarily stunned at the sound of his ex-wife’s voice. He never thought he’d hear from her again and several emotions pulsed through him as he processed her voice.
There’d been so many times over the past two months that he wanted to call her. It’d been the longest they’d gone without hearing from each other and it felt like a piece of him was rotting the longer time went on. Now, it felt like those miniscule pieces of his soul were floating back to his core. And his heart warmed because if she was calling, maybe she was going through the same emotions. The racing impulses just to hear each other. Thirty seconds into answering the phone and he could already feel so much stress from his everyday life lifting.
“Horacio? …Are you there?”
She brought him back into focus from the airiness that had short-circuited his brain. A swelling of air entered his lungs as he heaved a deep breath, still savoring the peace that was calming him.
“I’m here, Kiara,” he finally said. He heard a relieved sigh from her end and he wasn’t sure if it came from the fact that he hadn’t hung up on her or maybe she was experiencing the same sort of bliss that was now hovering around him.
“How -uh… How are you?”
He closed his eyes, always hating when he could hear tentativeness coming from the voice of one of the most confident people he knew. He never used to hear her sound like that whenever she spoke to him. And now it was etched into every word she spoke. He knew he was the cause of it and it burned him up inside.
“I’m…” He paused, wondering what the best course of action was here. Should he be honest? Tell her that he’s been struggling internally ever since their last phone call? Tell her that he always envisioned ridding his country of one of the most notorious malefactors as one of his greatest purposes and he never expected to feel so empty afterwards? Or does he tell her that he’s perfectly fine? That life goes on and he’s riding the waves of it in stride?
He settles for, “I’m hanging in there.”
There was silence over the line. Neither of them knew where to go next. How to even hold a conversation with someone you were used to having thousands of conversations with for over a decade. He didn’t know what she wanted from this conversation, considering she called, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted from their call either.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m sorry for just calling out of the blue.”
Their voices were mended together as the words left their mouth at the same time.
More silence as the other person’s words sunk in.
“Sorry,” he chuckled apologetically.
“It’s okay,” he could hear the smile in her voice and it filled him with so much warmth.
She spoke again, “I’m sorry I called you. I know you said we shouldn’t talk anymore, I just-”
“Kiara,” He interrupted her with a soft sigh, “It’s okay. If I’m being honest, I’ve thought a lot about calling you over the past few weeks. It’s good to hear from you.”
“Really?”
The pang of shock in her voice sent aches to his chest. This never should’ve happened. They never should have fallen this far apart.
“Really,” he echoed, “How is it over there? Is it everything you wanted?”
He hadn’t meant for his tone to come across so sorrowful. She stayed quiet on the other end and hoped that he hadn’t brought up their shared sense of resentment. The words had slipped out so easily from behind his mental guard rail. Almost like he was searching for some sort of comfort in this anguish. And her living out her dreams was probably the single piece of solace he’d find in this.
“I never meant for this to ruin us, Horacio.”
She hadn’t answered the question. Perhaps to spare his feelings, he thought. To not throw in his face that she was living the life that she wanted and it was without him.
“I know,” he whispered.
And for a few instances, all that could be heard was the sound of their breathing.
He finally worked up the nerve to ask, “Why did you call?”
“I just needed to hear your voice,” she parroted her earlier statement.
He didn’t know what to do with that or how to even respond.
“I should let you go… I’ve taken up enough of your time.”
Her voice had gone from laced with emotion to clear and more formal. The resonant voice she’d use in the clinical setting when dealing with patients. She was speaking to him like a patient, very much unlike all the times he actually was her patient.
“Wait, Kiara-”
Maybe he just needed to hear her voice, too. And he wasn’t ready to let go of it. Maybe she had it right and it was time for them to get off the phone, but he couldn’t let go. Not when he was unsure when the next time they spoke would be. Not when he was unsure whether they’d ever speak again.
“Why were you calling me from a different number? It’s unlisted, did you move?”
He heard her pause. It was a simple question, one that should’ve yielded a simple response.
“Was it because you thought I wouldn’t answer if I saw your number?” He guessed when she wasn’t fast enough to provide an answer herself, “Because I would’ve answered if you called. I’d always answer, Kiara.”
“I have to go, Horacio, I’m sorry.”
He frowned, unsure of why she was apologizing. She was slipping away. There wasn’t enough time. He wasn’t ready.
“Stay safe, okay?” She spoke with urgency. With desperation. “Please stay safe.”
“You too,” he spoke strongly, conveying the brawn of being a colonel but the tenderness of a husband. He hoped either or both brought her comfort.
“Goodbye, Horacio.”
She’d hung up before he got the chance to wish her the same. He placed the phone back on its hook and frowned, feeling unnerved. The entire conversation left him feeling conflicted throughout. But even still, he could’ve stayed on the phone with her for hours. If just to hear her breathing. She needed to hear his voice and somehow she knew he sought the same. Still, the call ended much too abruptly for his taste and it left him feeling the confused disorientation after waking up from a hangover. He pressed his palms against his sinuses and forehead, uneasiness flaring up as he combed over their conversation. He could’ve never imagined that speaking to Kiara for the first time in months would’ve left him feeling so lost and perplexed.
________
“Dammit!” Laz muttered under his breath as he finished listening to his voicemail, slamming the phone back into its receiver. Confused and concerned glances from his co-workers floated around the room as they took in their disgruntled colleague. No one knew why he had been exhibiting gradual unease as the days went by and no one was sure they wanted to enter his path of irritation. Their caseload at Interpol was slow right now and that usually indicated a jovial work environment. But there was nothing but silent tension aerating over the space as the man laid a heavy fist down on his desk.
“What the hell is going on?”
He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, willing his mind to make sense of what seemed so fuzzy right now.
Nothing made sense and it pissed him off to no end.
It also didn’t help that he couldn’t get the image of his ex-brother in law with a woman inside his house outside of his head. He should’ve known better than to believe all the shit Pena was spewing about Horacio being broken up and barely able to function without Kiara. The DEA agent stood in front of him and lied about how the head of the Search Bloc had been struggling all this time when clearly that wasn’t the case. And of course, he fucking bought it. Bought it enough to pull up to the house that Kiara used to live in and seek out Horacio to let him know what was going on. Oh, what a surprise it was to walk in on what he walked in on. Horacio Carrillo doing just fine without Kiara.
He leaned back in his seat behind his desk and scoffed. Still in disbelief at the sight that had met his eyes when he was at the man’s door. Another woman in the home that he shared with his wife. With Laz’s sister. The home Horacio had let Kiara pick because he declared that all he needed was a bed and a shower. The home where she learned how to juice fresh fruits after discovering passion fruit vines in the backyard. The home where they conceived and then lost their child. All of these memories forged, for better and for worse in that house, and they meant not a damn thing to Horacio. Seeing Horacio and that woman so comfortable in the home that used to be Kiara's, it made Laz sick. And so incredibly angry.
As far as Laz was concerned, Kiara had just left. And everyday, he was pissed at her for just up and abandoning him, but he also just missed her so much to the point where it felt like he was mourning her as if she’d died. He was desperate for her to come back home. He thought he shared that sentiment with Horacio, the one commonality they had. And obviously he could see he’d been very wrong in thinking that. He wanted to believe that his sister was the love of Horacio’s life, but it never seemed to ring true. At least, since she left. Laz had only had small glimpses of the man since she left and he was always the hardened, cold colonel in every one of those instances.
Laz blew out another deep breath and lifted his head to the ceiling. He shook his head at himself, knowing that was his anger talking. The man always walked around like he had a stick up his ass. That was true, even when he was with Kiara. But he could see when Kiara would pull back her husband’s layers and melt some of the man’s coldness away. How she would run to him and make him pick her up ever since the Dirty Dancing movie came out. How Horacio would listen to her rant about something trivial and respond with an amused, muted “Yes, dear” whenever she asked if he agreed. Laz knew the love was there when they were together. He was foolish to deny otherwise. But he just couldn’t understand how it all went to shit. How they went from that to this. Her in an entirely different country and him with another woman in their house.
If he learned anything from today, it was that he’d be on his own when it came to finding Kiara. He couldn’t rely on Horacio’s help or anyone’s really. It was up to him to figure out what was going on.
No one in the shared office space had uttered a word to the emotionally volatile Interpol agent but weary eyes exchanged silent messages of concern across the room. Laz paid them no mind until one of them hesitantly made his way to Laz’s desk.
“Everything okay, Laz?”
He looked up and could tell that even though most heads were down into their work, they were, more than likely, eavesdropping.
“I’m good,” he nodded his head with a smile he didn’t even bother to make real, “Just need to talk to the boss man, y’all have a good night.”
He rose up from his seat and walked down the hall to the office of his boss, giving a salute to the rest of his colleagues in doing so. The office door was open and he peeked in before knocking.
Michael Luna was the head agent in charge in the Colombian division of Interpol and his head was currently deep in a stack of files, pen in hand, marking important notes in the margins.
He looked up at the sound of Laz knocking and gestured for the man to come in.
“Got a second?”
Luna nodded, still holding his pen in hand, “What do you need, Laz?”
“I need your help.”
“With what?”
“My sister.”
___________________
It was so scorching that Horacio had only been outside in the sun for a few minutes before sweat began to drip down the side of his face. He’d been outside since he was leading a drill with a collective of young officers, making sure they were maintaining the physical rigor that came with their posts.
That wasn’t really in his job description anymore since he’d reached the rank of colonel, which was why his drill this morning had raised a few eyebrows.
Trujillo exchanged an expression of concern with Peña before walking over to him after Carrillo had left for outside to start the drill.
“His sudden change in demeanor got anything to do with you know who?”
Peña rolled his eyes, “She’s not Satan, Trujillo, you can say her name.”
Trujillo raised his hands up in defense. Still though, Peña answered, “I don’t know.”
Meanwhile, outside, Horacio paced in front of the officers, watching them sharply as they carried out the drill.
“Colonel Carrillo!” A voice belonging to one of the guards at the front gate sounded off, “There’s someone at the front gate, Interpol agents. They’re asking for you.”
Horacio looked behind the front gate guard and saw another guard escorting Laz and another Interpol agent towards him.
The colonel looked to his officers and ordered, “Tomar un descanso.”
As he turned back towards his guests, tension filled his shoulders, uneasiness settling within him the closer he walked towards them. It didn’t help that he knew there were prying eyes probably trying to decipher what was going on.
“Colonel.” The unfamiliar man spoke. With a sharp eye from their superior, the front gate guards walked back towards their post. Carrillo looked back at the weathered agent and took the hand that he offered to shake. He could see that Laz was avoiding his gaze and so he chose not to address him. It’d been a week since he showed up at the house and stormed out shortly thereafter. Carrillo hadn’t heard from him since, but he figured whatever he came to discuss that day was why he was here now.
“I’m Michael Luna, I work over at Interpol with Laz, who you know,” he spoke smoothly with a lilt of knowing both in his voice and also the rise of his eyebrow, “We need to ask you a few things, it won’t take long.”
With a sigh, Horacio did a brief glance around and called out to a nearby soldier and instructed him to complete the drill.
He, then, led the way towards his office, sparing a brief glance at Laz as the duo followed him. On the way to their destination, he also caught brief looks of confusion from Trujillo and Peña as they stood talking near Peña’s desk. He noticed that Peña’s stare wasn’t directed at him actually, but towards Laz. If Horacio had looked back, he might’ve caught the subtle, silent bit of communication exchanged between them.
Letting them enter his office before them, he closed the door and took a seat behind his desk. Looking back at him, Laz’s face held barely bridled anger while Luna’s was more inquisitive.
After a few seconds of silence, Horacio finally asked, “What did you need to talk to me about?”
Luna looked to Laz, almost expectantly, with the colonel’s eyes flickering impatiently between the two.
“Is this about a case? About any relevant intelligence?” His clipped tone hit the air.
Laz still said nothing, only heaving a deep breath with his bitter eyes still aimed at his ex brother-in-law.
“No, this isn’t about a case,” Luna finally spoke. His eyes had veered back to Horacio as he leaned back in his chair, “When was the last time you heard from your ex-wife?”
Horacio’s eyebrows immediately furrowed. His gaze shot right back to Laz and then to Luna, confused and troubled that neither were giving much of an explanation for their presence.
“Why are you asking me about Kiara?”
Luna merely shrugged.
“Just answer the question, Carrillo,” The animosity in Laz’s voice wasn’t to be missed, especially because they were the first words he had asserted since stepping on the Carlos Hoguin grounds.
“This is why you came to talk to me last week?” Horacio inquired, but Laz gave him nothing. Alarmed at the bringing up of her name, he persisted, “Is something wrong? Is she okay?”
The hardened exterior Laz was used to had faltered and he could see genuine inklings of fear spark across Horacio’s face. Still though, Laz remained silent.
“Dammit Lazaro, is Kiara the reason you came to see me?!” Carrillo’s voice rose with every word, as did he. He went from sitting straight in his seat to towering over the two men behind his desk.
Laz blinked and gave a simple, “Yes.”
The one word reply only upset Carrillo further.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that? Why do you need to know whether I’ve heard from her?” Still angered, there was shakiness in his intonations, some of that underlying fear coming to the surface.
And just because he was an asshole, Laz shrugged. He shrugged and it took everything for Carrillo not to reach across his desk and throttle him.
“Didn’t think you’d care, considering you were preoccupied.”
And because Luna was worried that Carrillo might actually come across the desk, he jumped in, “That’s enough.”
He looked at Carrillo and intoned calmly, “We need to know if you’ve heard from her, Colonel.”
Last week’s conversation with Kiara whirled around in Horacio’s mind. Had something happened in the time since he spoke to her? Was something wrong when he spoke to her? The call was peculiar on its own, but he tried wracking his mind, looking for any irregularity that might signal that she was in danger.
He could see the animosity in Laz’s eyes, still, and he knew that whatever answer he gave them, they’d walk away and leave without giving him any kind of explanation if it didn’t help with whatever they were trying to accomplish.
“Please just tell me why you need to know. Is she okay? Is she in danger?”
His voice had softened considerably, his guard slowly chipping away.
Laz stood up and looked him dead in the face, “That doesn’t concern you anymore.” Looking at Luna, he said, “He doesn’t know shit. Waste of fucking time…”
If he had been paying attention, he might’ve been able to dodge the vicious punch Horacio landed across his cheek. “Not my concern?!” He grabbed the collar of Laz’s shirt pulling him across the desk, “You know if it involves her, it will always concern me!”
It wasn’t Luna getting in between them that finally swooped Horacio out of his vehement turmoil, but the sound of knocking on his office door and Sandra appearing from behind it.
“Colonel?”
She hadn’t realized the tense situation she just walked into and stood posted at the door, taking in the three sets of eyes that were now on her.
Laz’s eyes were the first to shift off her, turning back towards Carrillo, “That right there, Carrillo,” he said with his finger pointing towards Sandra. “That right there is why she doesn’t concern you anymore.”
The older Nash sibling didn’t wait for a response, but merely turned his back to Carrillo.
“Nash-”
“I don’t have time for this shit!” He threw back over his shoulder, heading for the door.
Horacio stalked after him, reaching his arm before he could get to the door. Laz whirled back in anger and snatched his arm out of the colonel’s grasp. He was met with mutual fury as his ex-brother-in-law stood eye to eye with him. There was a brief instant of silence before the door opened further and Peña appeared behind Sandra. His irked face indicated that their sparring had bounced off into the halls of the building.
Laz looked back and forth between Peña and Carrillo before shaking his head.
“Fucking pathetic…” he muttered.
“You don’t get to decide whether I care enough about her or not. No matter what happened between she and I, I deserve to know whether something has happened to her.”
Laz’s nose flared, “I think you lost that right the moment you started bringing girls over to the house you bought with your wife.”
“For fuck’s sake, Nash, she’s under a protection detail!”
Continuing on as if hearing nothing Carrillo said, Laz threw back, “Peña was talking all that bullshit about how my sister leaving destroyed you and come to find out, you’re busy playing Secret Service with the secretary.”
Another savage punch landed on Laz’s cheek, but this time, he anticipated the hit enough to lunge at him right afterwards.
Peña uttered an irritated “Jesus Christ” before pushing Carrillo all the way back until they reached his desk. Luna shook his head with an admonishing glare while shoving Laz towards the opposite direction.
When he asked “You good?” to the agent under his command, it wasn’t so much out of concern as it was a cautionary “Get your fucking act together.”
Laz nodded his head, bending it down in deference.
“Let’s go,” Luna commanded in his soft tone.
“You know how much I care about your sister, Laz.” He turned back towards Carrillo. “There’s not a thing in this world that will ever change the way I feel about her.”
And what Laz was met with, was not the animosity he’d been greeted with for the past few months, but despair. Despair and loss.
This time, Laz had nothing to say back.
Horacio looked down in his anguish, not able to withstand the looks of pity etched in everyone’s faces as they saw him in a flash of vulnerability.
“Get out,” he said softly, to no one in particular but also to everyone.
Though closest to the door, Sandra was the last one out, hesitating until she felt a pull of her sleeve.
Peña could see in her expression that she wanted to check on Carrillo. He knew she meant well, but it was the last thing the man needed right now.
He sighed and uttered, "Don't. He needs to be alone right now."
And maybe that was the next best thing he needed right now. But what he really needed?
Kiara.
*****
EEEEKK. Can't believe it's been so long since I last updated this. Especially when they're always heavy on my mind. Also, I hope y'all don't mind that I add OCs to my fics. I'm just a sucker for building relationships and creating a little universe inside a narrative that's already so immersive. Each piece I write is its own little metaverse and I like putting more ppl in it whenever the inspo strikes. Marcus Alvarez was my inspo for Michael Luna in the sense that he's got that same calm, hardened exterior that commands respect. If you're ever interested in hearing me drone on about my OCs, however little they may appear, pls hit up my inbox and let me babble on and on lol
Interested to hear y'all thoughts on this chapter! Next chapter picks up right where we left off and of course, another flashback to their beginning!
Tag list: @drabbles-mc @supersanelyromantic @mysun-n-stars@ashlingnarcos
