I got my iPad a few days ago and just finished my first artwork. I know I still gotta improve a lot, but I guess for a first time it's alright
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I got my iPad a few days ago and just finished my first artwork. I know I still gotta improve a lot, but I guess for a first time it's alright
#kochimetro #nightclicks #latetohome #whyamilate #iwillimprove (at Vyttila Mobility Hub)
Confessions
So for a while now, I've been pulling my eyebrows out…it's the most relieving thing tho. Back in 7th grade I nearly pulled out my entire left eyebrow and my mom yelled at me for it...I had stopped and was pull-free up until the end of 9th grade..which was just last summer. Now it's been a vicious cycle: pull, fill in, stop for a couple of weeks, pull even more than last time, repeat previous. I've self diagnosed myself with trichotillomania, the urge to pull out ANY hair. Luckily my urge is limited to my eyebrows, but it's the place I value the most!! I care about them, I just CAN'T CONTROL IT. I'm too scared to tell my parents about it even when they notice it. It's my fault for not telling them about it yet, but I can't stand it when they just say "stop doing that". I've started a journal and will be documenting whenever I pull. It's helped a little because it's distracted my hands from going up to my eyebrows so that's good news I guess. I don't wanna suffer with this any longer, I'm finally gonna do something other than "promise" not to do it again. Because every time after I pull out SO MUCH I feel SO CONFIDENT that I'll never do it again and that I'm done because I've let my stress out, but I've said that quite a few times..I'm done. I'm done with this. No more moping around, things are gonna change. I will grow my eyebrows out and when I get them done they will look as beautiful as they did when I was pull free in 8th grade (and most of 9th grade). I will stop, I will. This cycle needs to stop. Now. I will do anything I can to prevent a relapse. It's not gonna be easy, but I'll make it happen and never stop trying.
I am who I am , I can't never be perfect. Can't you just be satisfy or accept with who I am ? Actions speak louder than words. Think before you react.
If I were to meet my past self back in high school right now
He'd be very surprised to see himself the way he is as a junior in college.
I think... he'd be happy that he would have a lot more self-esteem, that he doesn't walk around looking at the floor, he doesn't care about what other people think of how he looks anymore, he's matured a lot mentally, physically and emotionally, he's loved and not afraid to love again, he's more open/of an extrovert and... that he's also happy in the future in college.
I wonder... will I feel the same way towards my future self in 5 years?
I guess only time will tell. I shall keep working my way up into the future :)